BCP it is 99% effective? Possible pregnancy? My BCP & breakthrough bleeding

[thestaircase]

Hello, sorry if anything in this post is TMI,
Sexually I only have one guy that is my husband, so excuse me for my ignorance in sex. I’m newlywed so I’m still new into this whole BCP thing. I'm only 3 months into marriage.

May I ask. Is anyone here who are on BCP or are expert on Birth control pills. I have a few questions. What are the chances of get pregnant while on BCP? Not likely right? Because BCP is 99% effective if taking correctly right? And did anyone get breakthrough bleeding like I get?

I took all my pills on time, exactly on the same time everyday. I never miss one pills, so I know I’m 99% safe. I am also NOT on any Antibiotics so it not messing up my BCP
Last month I got my period came late. And 'breakthrough bleeding', heard this is normal for those who new to BCP as their body still adjust to the BCP

And this month, it is the 20th of April and I still have not get my period yet. That means I am 3 WEEKS late. I am way passed my placebo pills. Now this is kindda scary because I never been this late before in my life. Despite being 3 weeks late, I still take my pills on time everyday.

I’m 30 and husband is 29, and we married. My husband really really want a baby, he have baby fever. If unplanned pregnancy happen, then we will keep baby at all cost. We both against abortion, we both love babies.
But at my age 30, I’m not young anymore. Just three months into marriage and get pregnant, it not easy right? People tell me that the older you are the harder to get pregnant.

I told my husband that I can’t be pregnant because I took the BCP everyday exactly on time. When you taking BCP correctly, you not ovulating an egg, so the chances of get pregnant is slim. And we only 3rd month into our marriage so my body still trying to adjust to the BCP; it probably just late again.

My husband want a baby so he happy that I’m late, lol
He be THRILLED if I’m pregnant. Yestedady when he left to work, he already kiss my stomach. He told me take the pregnancy test and when I’m pregnant, he will kiss my stomach EVERYDAY for 9 Months until the baby born.

But he making me feel kindda awkward. Kissing my stomach for 9 Months everyday until the baby born, is too much affections. He is a doting husband alright, but he going to suffocate his wife and the baby.
We married for 3 months already and my husband still kiss my butt cheek. Is this normal?
I have an abusive mother in my childhood, and I grow up in a very cold family so I'm not used to affections at all.

I can already tell that he going to be the Dad that will spoil his kids rotten!!
I was raise in a strict traditional Chinese family, so I know I will be very strict to my kids. And him, he the Dad that will spoil his kids. The kids will always run to daddy daddy for everything because daddy spoil them rotten. Arg!!
Before we TTC, I think we need another talk on this. We have the talk before, he said it himself that he will spoil his children.

I know he patience and he is a doting husband. He let me have things my way so I can be happy. But now to the kids issue, I don’t think he going to let me have it all my way. But we probably have cultural clashes on the ways we going to raise our children.

We been through alot of hardship to be together. From my abusive Chinese mother disapproval of him because of his skin color, to our huge cultural difference.
I do want a baby, but not now. I want more of ‘us’ two people time alone together as a couple before we have a baby. I hope I'm not being too selfish. Am I too selfish?

He been working 2 jobs, 12-14 hours everyday so we can have enough money to buy a house as fast as we can. We plan to TTC in 2016 when we have our own house. I want to spend more time with him as two of us before bring in a baby. Is that too selfish of me?

Sorry for my bad English grammars, English is my third language.

 

[Symphony7]

The only way to know for sure is to take a test...but if you are very good about taking your pill same time every day then you are pretty safe. I've been on BC for four years and not so much as a whisper of an accident. If you are really nervous, like we were...double up on your BC method. We have the pill and my husband also pulls out. It would have been very bad if we had gotten pregnant so we wanted to be extra safe.

Congratulations on your new marriage!

 

[xstitcher87]

I have used BCP for nearly 10 years and no whisper of an accident. I know the first 3 months of taking it your cycle can be a bit weird. The only way to know for sure is to take a test. You can get them from the pharmacy. As long as you're taking your pill correctly, aren't on antibiotics, and haven't had vomiting or diarrhea, it is 99% effective. If your cycles are acting up, I would also go and mention it to your doctor, they may change the brand of BCP or have advice about alternative contraceptives, like an IUD or Depo injection.

If you're worried, then double up on your contraception. My husband and I used condoms as well as the BCP before we were married (when we were teenagers, students at university etc). To make really really sure. Since we got married we're only using the BCP.

You aren't selfish for wanting time with your husband at all! My husband and I are TTC at the end of this year which will be just over 18 months of being married and just over 10 years together. Look at that couple time as an investment in your future, creating a stable loving home for your future children. I feel incredibly happy when I see my grandparents (married over 60 years!) be affectionate with each other. Holding hands or my grandpa giving my nan a pat on the bottom!

Even people from the same culture have clashes over parenting decisions, but you just need to get some of the larger issues discussed before TTC. For example, my husband and I have discussed:

• Sleep training...do it or not, if so which method
• co-sleeping, cot or mixed
• discipline, what type?
• breastfeeding or bottle-feeding (although my husband is leaving this one for me to decide completely)
• Will we use a dummy?
• How strict will we be? Especially in regards to school etc?

• What happens when we disagree? How will we deal with it?
• What religion (or none) will they be raised under?
• Public or Private school? (this one really depends on finances mostly)
• Stay at home vs working?
• baby wearing or not?

There are probably things I've forgotten we've discussed too, lol. I think discussing these kinds of things before you TTC can be helpful for some people. It helps me knowing my husband and I are on the same page before we dive in!

Your husband sounds incredibly affectionate and lovely my advice would be to set your boundaries, but also just allow yourself to be carried off by his love and affection. To just feel, rather than think.

Sorry for the essay in response to your question!!!

TLDR - Take a test to know for sure, enjoy time with your husband, discuss parenting stuff, good luck!

 

[thestaircase]

Thank you so much for your long answer, it informative and very helpful. Appreciated, note and will follow your advice.

And thanks for being understanding, I'm just not used to effections. My Chinese mother was abusive to me; she verbally, emotionally and physically abusive. She scold at me, and belittle me everyday throughout my whole childhood.
Growing up hearing mom belittle me, put me down everyday. It make me feel that I'm not worth to be loved, my self-worth is just low.

My husband like to kiss my butt cheek, naked or clothed he likes to kiss it.
Usually when I lay in bed, he would simple put his lips on my butt cheek and kiss. I always feel AWKWARD about it. But after 3 months into my marriage, for the first time now I giggles.
I giggles and I gave him a hug. He was so happy that I now 'enjoy' it and that I 'appreciate' his kiss.

Some men like breast, some men like butt. I guess I married a guy who more into butt.
I know in western culture, a husband kiss his wife butt cheek is normal. But to my Chinese culture, it just not common.

Thank you for let me know I'm not selfish. Sometimes I do feel like I'm very selfish because I don't want a baby this year in 2015
My husband been working 12-14 hours everyday, so we can have enough money for a house. When we dating he work 1 job, now we married he working 2 jobs.
I want to spend more time with him as two of us before bring in a baby. I told him we will have baby in 2016, at least I have another year with him alone as a couple.

We been through alot of hardship to be together. My mom dislike him because of his skin color, she tried to break us apart. I know when I choose to married him, my mom will disown me and she already did disown me.
But I have no regrets, he is an awesome husband.

We both went through alot to be together, and now we finally can be together. Only 3 months into marriage and a baby? At my age 30, I heard it unlikely to get pregnant right?
And I don't think we ready for baby, he been working ALOT. And he only 29 years olds, isn't that kindda young to be a father?

 

[Oldermummy78]

Can you go to do your test and then Drs if that doesn't give you the right answer?
You sound a lovely couple and your husband sounds so in love with you it's nice to hear
Good luck and keep us posted maybe the stress is pausing your missed period if you are very worried about getting pregnant