BD strategy?

Discussion in 'Long Term Trying To Conceive' started by justkitty, May 31, 2011.

  1. justkitty

    justkitty First Time Mum

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    Do you have a bd strategy for ttc?

    Before ttc we used to dtd maybe 6 times a month occasionally more! Both have busy life styles and both happy with our sex life. Then we decided to ttc and after 12 months dr said need more bding and should do 20 times a month. We tried every other day but my dh couldn't manage it and it was a stress. So we decided to bs when we want and then daily during fertile window...

    Anyway I have ewcm 4 days before ov and this month we bd'd five days but missed the day after ov. We were knackered! Should we have bd'd the day after? Do you? I wonder if it's worth missing day 1 of ewcm then getting the 3 days before ov, ov day and then day after.

    What do you think?
     
  2. LaRockera

    LaRockera Well-Known Member

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    I'm curious to see answers to this question too.

    My DH and I are extremely busy too, and even though we love each other very much and have a lot of physical affection in our relationship, sex is not number one on the list.

    So we BD around 5 days in a row during my fertile window (I usually ovulate on day 13, so we start BDing on day 10 and keep up until I see a temp rise) but not more than that really. Perhaps once or twice more during the month. I think ttc put us in a sort of a 'schedule' if you know what I mean.

    I do strongly suspect that the reason I haven't conceived yet is lack of sex. :dohh: From these thirteen months, I'd say we tried 'properly' about four or five times. The rest was just twice or three times during the fertile week, usually every other day. So it would be day 10, 12 and 13, or 12 and 14 and so on... I wasn't temping and using OPKs until I reached the 6th month or so, and had stupidly listened to my previous OBgyn that said it'd be fine if we had sex on days 12,13,14.

    I've read that BDing every day slightly increases your chances, unless there's a low sperm count factor (then you need to BD every other day). :shrug:
     
  3. ao30

    ao30 Well-Known Member

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    We usually try to get the day after OV just in case as well, even though it's highly unlikely anything will come of it.

    I've never really paid attention to how often we do it, and when using FF I only mark the nights we BD around OV.

    The absolutely ridiculous thing is that we are usually fairly consistent, more so around OV, but it never helps. Then this last cycle we didn't do anything for a week until OV due to illness, then DTD on the day of OV, and somehow I got a BFP (please don't take this as bragging; I have a history of miscarriages so this one probably won't stick either). I don't understand how that works out? Husband does not have a low sperm count, so it wasn't the fact that we had to DTD less often to get a positive.

    I hate it when people encourage those going through infertility to "just relax," but the truth of the matter is I seem to get positives only when I am not looking for one.
     
  4. LaRockera

    LaRockera Well-Known Member

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    It doesn't come across as bragging, and I really wish it sticks this time, hon. :hugs:

    As for the 'relaxing' part, many people have come forward to say it happened when they least expected, but I have to agree with the experts that attribute this to coincidence. A sperm can live up to five days if circumstances help. I was pretty relaxed up to cycle 8. Yes, I was thinking about it, but the BFNs were simple disappointment, not a heartbreak. After cycle 8 everything changed, but even now, depression and stress kick in always after ovulation, not before.

    xxx
     
  5. MariaF

    MariaF A new Mummy!

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    We've changed our strategy from this cycle. Before it was every other day but definitely DB on the day of ov - even if did the day before.

    This time Ive had 2 different people (one of them a gynae) say to me we need to do it less frequently.
    I also keep thinking back to DH's 2 SAs. We didn't DTD for 4 days before the first one and the morphology cam back at only 8%. We didn't DTD for 8 days before the second one and it came back at 17%!

    Call it a coincidence, but together with these two people talling us to "save up" the swimmers we've done it now 2 days ago but now Im waiting for a positive OPK, which may never actually happen - Im on Clomid but don't always respond.
    So if I get a psitive tomorrow, we'll BD tomorrow night (so 3 day break). If I get a positive later, I will still wait to BD. Obviously if I hadn't gotten a positive by CD 21 or so Ill just forget about this cycle and start thinking about the next
     
  6. ao30

    ao30 Well-Known Member

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    I just wonder how all those couples out there who have no idea what OV is get pregnant... it's like magic!
     
  7. MariaF

    MariaF A new Mummy!

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    I think the main reason they get pg so easily is because they don't know what ov is :haha: The less you know the more relaxed you are. But what I find amazing is stories when the only BD was almost during a period or 2 days before the next af and yet BHAM a BFP!
     
  8. LaRockera

    LaRockera Well-Known Member

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    I have to vehemently disagree with the 'relaxed' theory. I don't think it's got anything to do with conceiving.

    The reason that couples conceive when they're not trying, is the exact same reason that couples that are actually trying do too: they just have sex during their fertile days (fertile days are not fixed and they can vary from person to person. You cannot get pregnant outside your fertile window). The fact that they don't know it's their fertile period neither increases, or decreases their chances. There's no evidence whatsoever that couples that 'are not trying' conceive faster or are overall more successful. The statistics of successful couples within a year have been produced by examining couples that are actively trying.

    Nature in humans works in contraceptively. Humans have about 15 to 25% (depending on age. I'm 30 and I was told for me it's about 17% per month, even if I do everything perfect) of getting pregnant each cycle, compared to a 60% or 80% of other animals, like rabbits. If 'not trying' was the key, there'd be no natural resources left on the planet any more. Neither would women that went through traumatic experiences such as war or rape be able to get pregnant.


    I was pretty relaxed for the first eight months, and nothing happened. Of course I got stressed afterwards. I've done pretty wide reading, and also asked a few OBgyns and they all concur that stress is the result of not getting pregnant, not the cause of it.

    I'm sorry if I sound too passionate but when people are telling me I need to 'relax' it's as if they're telling me it's my fault I'm not getting pregnant, and as we all know what absolute torture this process can be, the comment is not just unsubstantiated, but also cruel and untrue.
     

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