becoming pregnant and looking youthful worries!

[bakedbean]

Hello

Me and my partner are 23 - we are WTT in 2016 when we are 25. I feel very excited about my future pregnancy and our children but one thing makes me worry and its my 'youthful' looks. I am constantly told I look 16. Sales people come to my door and ask if my parents are in (which is handy as I say no and they bugger off!) Im ALWAYS ID'd and was ID'd for party poppers the other day and a 15 film which was embarrassing. At work (hca agency) people ask if im old enough to be working and when I state my age are shocked and tell everyone to ask my age. I get told how young I look when im out shopping and I have perfected the fake laugh through gritted teeth when every single person says 'you'll be grateful for that when your older'. For now I can deal with this, its just annoying, but im worried im going to get awful comments, looks and rude people when I become pregnant as they will think I am much younger than I am. The thought of it really makes me think about and feel for the young and teen mums!

Has anyone gone through this or worry about this aswell?
how would you handle it?

 

[spicyorange]

I'd tell then to mind there own business, have your tried different hair, make up or clothes?

 

[crazycatlady5]

I'm in the same boat as you - except in a couple months I'm turning 29!! Last year when I was engaged and telling people someone said I was too young to get married because they thought I was still in highschool!!

Not sure how I'll handle it either, I'm sure people will assume I'm too young to have a baby. :s

 

[emyandpotato]

I am also 23, have a three year old, and look extremely young. I often pass as under 16 (without trying) with tickets etc. and am forever being IDed. I don't get nasty comments or weird looks or anything like that. No one cares. Either that or you have children and people assume you're older/you automatically look older to other people? I don't know. But it has never been a problem.

 

[staralfur]

I'm 25 (26 next month) and people still think I'm in high school. I had a new hairdresser a few months ago and she asked me if I was getting it done for graduation... so I guess I at least look like I'm in the later stages of high school.

I haven't really noticed any judgement or strange looks, to be honest. I sometimes wonder if people think I'm a teen mom but it's not really worth worrying over. If they do, they do... it doesn't affect me or my daughter in the slightest. If someone were to say something about it then I'd at least get a kick out of showing them my ID.

 

[tverb84]

I'll be 30 in December and don't look 29 at all. I volunteer at the blood clinic here and told another volunteer how old I am, she said I looked like I was still in high school. I still get ID'd too especially if I go to the casino here. On the plus side I don't feel 29 I feel more like 23 or 24 and I'm glad I look younger rather than older.

 

[Pearls18]

I don't know how young I look, I have bad skin which probably doesn't help lol, but I was 22 when I was pregnant with DS1 and 25 with DS2, I never got comments. For me personally I felt better that I had a wedding ring second time around, hubby and I were only engaged first time. But second time I was commuting into London and if you imagine most commuters in London are probably going to be career go getters (which I would class myself as well...but probably a bit of an oddity at 25 pregnant with my second and married...) and I felt SO young, the women that were pregnant on the tube looked closer to 40, I felt teenage, no one ever said anything but I did feel a bit insecure about it. Also at work, the people I work with are completely career driven and only marrying now in their late 30s/40s, so we joke that I'm a welsh hillbilly....in my hometown it's very common to marry and have kids in your mid twenties, my brother is getting married at 23, my best friend is married at 25, plus many others.

But you just have to try not to care!

 

[NovemberSnow]

Me too! I'm nearly 29 and I still get ID'd, told I'm too young to be married etc. I don't really mind except at work, where I think looking young is kind of a disadvantage.

I know it's frustrating but it's definitely better than looking older, and if people judge well then that's their problem not yours!

 

[NovemberSnow]

I don't know how young I look, I have bad skin which probably doesn't help lol, but I was 22 when I was pregnant with DS1 and 25 with DS2, I never got comments. For me personally I felt better that I had a wedding ring second time around, hubby and I were only engaged first time. But second time I was commuting into London and if you imagine most commuters in London are probably going to be career go getters (which I would class myself as well...but probably a bit of an oddity at 25 pregnant with my second and married...) and I felt SO young, the women that were pregnant on the tube looked closer to 40, I felt teenage, no one ever said anything but I did feel a bit insecure about it. Also at work, the people I work with are completely career driven and only marrying now in their late 30s/40s, so we joke that I'm a welsh hillbilly....in my hometown it's very common to marry and have kids in your mid twenties, my brother is getting married at 23, my best friend is married at 25, plus many others.

But you just have to try not to care!

Oh wow I can totally relate to this - I also work in London and people there seem to do everything much later! I didn't get married until I was 28 and I still felt really young. I'm also from a more rural area (although not Wales) where getting married and having kids before 25 is totally normal.

 

[Pearls18]

I don't know how young I look, I have bad skin which probably doesn't help lol, but I was 22 when I was pregnant with DS1 and 25 with DS2, I never got comments. For me personally I felt better that I had a wedding ring second time around, hubby and I were only engaged first time. But second time I was commuting into London and if you imagine most commuters in London are probably going to be career go getters (which I would class myself as well...but probably a bit of an oddity at 25 pregnant with my second and married...) and I felt SO young, the women that were pregnant on the tube looked closer to 40, I felt teenage, no one ever said anything but I did feel a bit insecure about it. Also at work, the people I work with are completely career driven and only marrying now in their late 30s/40s, so we joke that I'm a welsh hillbilly....in my hometown it's very common to marry and have kids in your mid twenties, my brother is getting married at 23, my best friend is married at 25, plus many others.

But you just have to try not to care!

Oh wow I can totally relate to this - I also work in London and people there seem to do everything much later! I didn't get married until I was 28 and I still felt really young. I'm also from a more rural area (although not Wales) where getting married and having kids before 25 is totally normal.

It's so strange isn't it. My colleagues are great and I get on with them well, but I can tell they feel a bit sorry for me, I think my life is their idea of hell being "tied down" at such a young age (well young in their opinion), but honestly when they talk about their roommates or going home on their own or to their empty bedroom in a shared house (that is costing them half their salary anyway) I just think WOW I've got the best of both worlds. But different strokes for different folks!

 

[Snufflepop]

Another youthful looker here! I always get ID'd if I buy a bottle of wine or something. It always makes me chuckle when I give them ID and they realise I am nearly 30!

Can understand the thing about feeling like you had children young too. Both my siblings who have children had there babies at 40. I had DD at 28. One of my sisters actually commented on how 'young' I was to have a child. I thought personally that 28 was about average and 40 puts you at the older end of the scale (didn't tell her that obviously!). Like pp said, it's whatever suits your lifestyle and I certainly wouldn't let it get to me!

 

[ktod]

I'm one of those who looked 16 until about 25. I'm nearly 30 now and I still think I look young, but now I think about it, I haven't been mistaken for a child in a long time so maybe having a child has aged me!!!!

I did sometimes wonder if people would think I was a teen mum (no offence to teen mums, I was just imagining what could possibly happen and if I'd get judged by it) I can't say I noticed anything......well I hope I'm not starting to look older

 

[modified]

Has anyone gone through this or worry about this aswell?
how would you handle it?

Yep. I'm 25, get IDed for 15's etc (despite being fairly heavily tattooed) and got the most horrendous looks from mostly teenage girls and older women, I never got any comments though. It bugged me but no one said anything so I'd just stare back at those who stared at me

 

[tverb84]

Has anyone gone through this or worry about this aswell?
how would you handle it?

Yep. I'm 25, get IDed for 15's etc (despite being fairly heavily tattooed) and got the most horrendous looks from mostly teenage girls and older women, I never got any comments though. It bugged me but no one said anything so I'd just stare back at those who stared at me

How many tattoo's do you have? I want to get one on my wrist but I'm a bit nervous.

 

[Monsterwriter]

I'm 31 and still get ID'd.

All my family were young mums though and no one ever said anything to them.

 

[TwilightAgain]

I worry about this too as i'm also young looking. I'm 23 this week and the other day I got ID'd for alcohol. I did my first day on a placement (for my uni course) at a prison the other day. I was in the visitor centre and asked for the prison guards to let me through so I could use the loo, he looked me up and down and asked if I was with my Mum and Dad. He was mortified when he realised I 'work' there

I will definitely be grateful for my youthfulness when i'm older though. My Dad got refused entry to a nightclub because the doormen didn't think he was old enough (he was 40!) my Gran got ID'd for alcohol at the supermarket (at 67!)

 

[NovemberSnow]

I worry about this too as i'm also young looking. I'm 23 this week and the other day I got ID'd for alcohol. I did my first day on a placement (for my uni course) at a prison the other day. I was in the visitor centre and asked for the prison guards to let me through so I could use the loo, he looked me up and down and asked if I was with my Mum and Dad. He was mortified when he realised I 'work' there

I will definitely be grateful for my youthfulness when i'm older though. My Dad got refused entry to a nightclub because the doormen didn't think he was old enough (he was 40!) my Gran got ID'd for alcohol at the supermarket (at 67!)

Your Gran got ID'd at 67? That's amazing! Did they have a policy of ID'ing absolutely everyone, or is she just incredibly young looking?

I used to work at a supermarket and I was extremely worried about accidentally serving someone under age as you can get a really big fine and a criminal record. So I did used to take ID'ing very seriously - but as far as I know I never ID'd any OAPs!!

 

[MontyMad]

Mmm-hmm, I have this problem as well. Actually, me, my sister, my mum and my nan all look younger than we really are. Aside from an odd grey hair here and there I look exactly the same as I did when I was 15, my sister (who's 2 older than me) looks about 17/18, my 52 year old mum looks like she's in her late 30s, and my nan who's 79 next month looks like she's 70. My mum had a minor hiccup just recently. When she met her boyfriend's kids for the first time, his son apparently said that she was nice but was too young for his dad. Mum is actually 4 months older than her boyfriend! XD

 

[tverb84]

I can't believe I'll be 30 in four months tomorrow. I don't even feel 29 I feel more 24 or 25.

 

[JT2013]

I'm almost 30 but regularly get asked for ID and told I look between 5-10 years younger. I usually find it humiliating and before I was pregnant I really worried about people saying stuff about it- HOWEVER since I've been pregnant I haven't had any comments of that sort - even though I also live in a city where most women have their first baby at more like 35 than 30, so even my actual age is young here. I think *most* people are polite and would never make comments about what age (be it assumed or actual) someone is having a baby, although there are always exceptions of course!