Bedtime help.. How many hours can LO be swaddled?

[Eliza_V]

LO normally sleeps on me or DH in the evenings (occasionally can get her to sleep in the carrycot if we're really lucky) and then comes up to bed with us between 11-12 midnight, where I'll change her nappy, swaddle her, and BF her to sleep (sometimes have to rock her if she wakes up while going into the crib).. This way she'll sleep between 5-7 hours (but if she gets hungry before, ie a growth spurt, she does wake for feeding).

Now I'm wondering if we should be putting her upstairs earlier, say 9-10pm, given that she does sleep in the evenings.. But I don't know how to approach it. When we swaddle her, she is able to sleep that long stretch, so that's why we do it when we go to bed so we can actually get some sleep! If I swaddled her before (say, 9pm) and she slept 6 hours, it kind of defeats the object if she wont sleep any longer. If after the 6 hours I try and put her back down, despite her falling asleep on the breast, she wakes up as soon as she's in the crib.. But I don't know whether that's because she's just slept 6 hours, or because it's light outside and she sleeps by the windpw? So I'm worried she'll sleep for 6 hours from 9pm, then refuse to go back down after, iykwim? It's a nightmare to get her nap during the day unless she's on me too.

So what do you think I should do? Do you think I should just swaddle her and BF to sleep between 9 and 10, and see what happens - if she wakes (or when we come to bed) feed while swaddled without much stimulation and put her back down? But I'm worried she'll be swaddled too long? Or should I try and get her to nap in a grobag before then (if she'll fall asleep without us.. There's another obstacle) then wake her up to be changed/swaddled/fed when we go to bed?

How do I approach this? Should I do it in steps? Help

xx

 

[lisaf]

Is there a reason you don't swaddle for all naps/sleeping?
I swaddled my LO for all naps and he was a great sleeper. I did find that when it was light out, he would not go back down, but any night-time wakings he went right back down without any trouble.

He's been sleeping 7:30pm-7am since he was 2 months old. I know plenty of babies who sleep this long! We just make sure he doesn't sleep more than 2 hour stretches during the daytime.

If you're nervous, you can do a dream feed... do a dim-lighted quick feed and back to bed when you go to bed, that way you maximize your sleep time. But you won't know what works until you try it... but you might be lucky and have a good sleeper like me, just give it a shot!

 

[Eliza_V]

I want LO to associate swaddling with the long stretch of sleep and it being nighttime - trying to make as many different associations as possible (like dimmer lighting as you suggested, and the swaddling) as it's been advised by a few people to help them realise that night-time is for sleeping! Lol. So if she was swaddled constantly from 10pm til about 6-7am it wouldn't be too long for her arms to be constricted or anything? I'm just worried about hindering development or something.. Yes, I'm a panicky mother lol.

I've never tried a dreamfeed.. How would I do it if I don't co-sleep? (I really don't want to co-sleep, I've done it a few times accidently and am personally not comfotable doing it)

What a fab sleeper you have!

 

[lisaf]

we don't co-sleep either.. a dreamfeed is just a very non-stimulating feed... keep the lights as dim as possible, no talking, no interaction, just a feed and then back to bed.

Swaddling helps them stay asleep by restricting them from their startle reflex. In my case, I think it being so dark told him it was time to stay asleep for long stretches, not the swaddle. We would wake him up after 2 hours of napping during the day, to make sure he didn't decide it was time for a good long sleep and then wake up at night, but we never had to associate 'night' bedtime different than 'nap' bedtime. It being so dark at night also helps them sleep better I think.

I believe it is 3-4 months when some doctors say it can hinder development. We stopped swaddling recently and he's harder to put to sleep now. He doesn't have enough control over his hands and keeps himself awake by sticking them in his face. I do know that once they start rolling over it can be a hazard to keep them swaddled (my guy is now rolling over, though he's never once done it in his crib). I know a lot of people who swaddled until 6 months though without any developmental problems. Some kids just need it longer.
We're doing better now without the swaddle, but it was a rough transition for us because we stopped too soon and too abruptly. BUT, we do try to let him self-settle (only pick him up if he's crying hard.. if he's just whining or playing/happy at night we let him go to sleep on his own and now 80% of the time he goes down with little to no help). Naps are still harder for us without the swaddle!

And we swaddled our guy from 7pm-8am for months and he's got incredible strength on his tummy, lifting himself up etc!

 

[nugget80]

my lo goes to bed between 7 and 8pm and is then swaddled til betwwn 6 and 7am when he wakes for the day. occasionally he will wake at 3 for a feed but i always leave him swaddled for this! he is also swaddled for daytime naps and am dreading the day we have to put him to bed unswaddled...

 

[Snowball]

Louie's swaddled from 7-8pm, he falls off asleep down here and I take him up with me when I go to bed. Then he's dreamfed in the night till I take his swaddle off around 6-7am the following morning.

 

[Lauki]

I swaddle Sophie upstairs at 6.30pm for her last feed and then leave her swaddled during night feeds until the morning when we get up around 7am. When she wakes for a night feed I always check if she's too hot in the swaddle, but she seems to be fine everytime.

I have actually started to swaddle her for naps now, she just seems to sleep so much more relaxed with it, and she still sleeps fine at night . During the day she's always downstairs with me with sounds and it's light. At night I take her up in a quiet dark bedroom for her to calm down for the long stretch sleeps. She sleeps 5 hour stretches normally and associates this with bedtime because it's upstairs and dark and she's had her bath and all. She also sleeps better because she's in the bedroom alone without us disturbing her when pottering around.f I bought a baby monitor with camera to keep me relaxed ! It might sounds selfish but it really works for us because my hubby and me get 3-4 hours together every day to charge up and spend together. And Sophie sleeps better for it!

 

[Eliza_V]

Lauki, totally agree on you and DH getting some time together! I'm looking forward to that, but want to make sure LO is comfortable sleeping alone before I can enjoy it, lol.

Thanks everyone! How do you reckon I should start it, should I ease her into it so it's not a shock to the system?

 

[lisaf]

ease her into sleeping alone? I say you do what works best for her.. she may surprise you and not need as much help sleeping as you think... then again she may need the help. We bounce our LO's crib mattress (just push down with our hand and bounce it from above if that makes sense) instead of picking him up and it does settle him down sometimes.
As for swaddling more often, go ahead and jump into that, I don't think she would need to adjust.

You can also incorporate a bath into the 'bedtime' ritual for the nighttime sleep! Thats part of our routine too.

 

[nicole_]

my LO is swaddled from half 7pm-9am and is swaddled for all naps in the day too hes never had trouble associating it with just the night time sleep and tbh if i didnt do it, i swear he'd never ever sleep!
my LO has no problems with development either and could sit unaided at 4 months and if you put him in his carseat/bouncer he can sit himself upright. he can roll and hes never done it while swaddled so im happy to carry on till hes 2 if he needs it

 

[Lauki]

She may indeed surprise you! I used to have Sophie downstairs with me. Then one day we decided to start a bad, massage, feed, bed routine and she just fell asleep and stayed asleep fine upstairs. She has the occasional wake up, but that's only if she's become overtired and struggles staying asleep. I still feed her till she's nearly asleep and then rock her to sleep. Sophie won't fall asleep unless in my arms, but will stay asleep when put down .

It went easier then I thought, because during the day she still struggles a bit with napping, so I was scared she'd need holding all the time. But she sleeps from 7-12, 15 minute feed, back till 5, 15 minute feed, back to sleep. Only if I'm extremely tired I put her in bed with me from 5am. I'm not a big fan of cosleeping for whole nights, because I don't sleep properly when she's next to me and I really need my rest to be happy mum during the day! So the first few nights I really put some effort into settling her into her basket and now she's just fine there!

 

[Holpop]

We started off swaddling our LO but our midwife advised against it as she said it could lead to overheating & SIDS. As you can imagine, it concerned us & we stopped. Has anyone had advice that differs from their midwife etc?

 

[lisaf]

the nurses in the hospital actually swaddle the babies for you here in the US when you're recovering. Its encouraged for young babies here!

 

[Lauki]

Sophie was swaddled in hospital too by the nurses. I just check Sophie everytime I pick her up for a feed if she's warm and she's always been fine!

 

[Eliza_V]

Holpop - My LO was swaddled in hospital too. Though it was in towels and when she was wearing a vest, sleepsuit AND a hat, so it didn't make me all that comfortable I swaddle her in the Miracle blanket, and before that it was the SwaddleMe ones with the velco tabs, because they're thin and 100% cotton. I checked with the midwives and they said it was fine - our room is very warm so I only do it in a nappy, but if it cools down a bit I put a short-sleeved vest on too. I've only come up against one midwife who said I shouldn't do it, but she kept tripping over her words as to why so I just ignored her since everyone else said it's fine, she never feels too warm, and she sleeps so well when she's swaddled.

Thanks so much everyone I keep meaning to start bathing her every day so we can get it as part of a bedtime routine of some description, but DH keeps coming home from work late and never at the same time (SO annoying), which means we have dinner late (although he does cook it, even though I offered tonight because as much as I love my LO, I just wanted half an hour not looking after her.. But he said he wanted to cook), I feed her whenever I get half a chance, and then we have to watch something or other so the time just slips away He bathes her as a bonding thing as I BF and am with her all day too. I've been saying she needs a bath for the last couple of days and he keeps saying "after this/that" and then suddenly it's midnight and it still hasn't been done Maybe if I start the routine on my own and she's in bed by the time he comes home it will make him realise.. But then again I am so shattered by the time he comes home I don't think I'd manage another crying fit alone when she's in the bath

Whoops, turned into a rant there! But thanks everyone, must get experimenting to see what works! x

 

[Lauki]

My baby has really started to be happy after I put the routine in place. We go up at 6, put her in the bath for about 10 minutes or until she's unhappy. Then she gets some nappy free time and I rub her with some lotion or oil. Then in her nappy and sleepsuit for a feed. Then in the swaddle and finish the feed on the other boob and then in the moses basket after a 10-15 minute cuddle.
It really calms her down being upstairs where it's dark and quiet. Try and do the bath when you LO is not starting to get really hungry or tired, as that might then upset them. I've had to change my own routine to suit her! Your hubby has to understand that it's important for your baby to have some sort of routine with bedtime, and that she needs winding down time. She's not like a grown up and babies don't cope well with getting overtired. He'll have to adjust his schedule to her and I'm sure that whatever he's about to do can wait an hour!

 

[cutie4evr01]

Sorry to hijack, but for those of you still feeding at night, what do you do about changing the diaper? Unswaddle and reswaddle or just don't change until morning? Thanks!

 

[lisaf]

We only change if its poopy.. if its wet we leave it (we use pamepers babydry.. they have 12 hour protection).
(I should say this is what we did back when he woke up at night, lol).

 

[lisaf]

and I agree with Lauki - getting a routine down is most important. Your DH needs to adjust a little bit and make it a priority!
I understand fearing the crying etc... we find the bath calms him down though... it also helps break up the time before bed and keeps our guy from getting too fussy. If this routine gets her to bed sooner, you get more time to unwind at night, so it might be worth a little bit of extra fussiness, right?

 

[Eliza_V]

Now the challenge is getting DH to realise that.. I've been saying for hours that we need to bath her, and I haven't forced the issue and things kept coming up.. Now this means I don't have time for a bath after her (yes we're bathing her at midnight!) and I've got to rush a shower in the morning before he goes to work and I'm left on my own, as I need to leave the house at 10

It WILL happen lol I'm determined to get this bedtime thing sorted! xx