Behaviour problems & fussy eating *urgent plz, post 17 :(*

[hattiehippo]

^never thought of that actually!

need some pretty urgent help now i dot know what to do

this weekend he has eaten:
toasted teacake
smoothie
half a bowl of cereal

hes starving himself i dont know what to do

Please, please try to not so stressed about it I know its really hard - Tom can be really, really fussy with food and has quite a limited diet so I know what's it like to tear yourself up into knots worrying whether its your fault and what could you do differently to try and get them to eat more. And the hours spent making things for them to touch nothing

I would go to your doctor and explain everything and then get him checked - has he lost weight? is he aneamic? any allergies? If all of these come back ok then I would try really hard to not worry so much, try to avoid it becoming a total battleground and think that his diet while not good isn't doing him any harm. Or if there is a problem then something can be done about it.

I try and chill about Tom's eating now - he mainly eats spaghetti hoops, toast, yoghurt, tomato pasta and things like cheerios and cream crackers. He will eat strawberries, raspberries and apples but no veggies at home at all. But I was a really fussy eater as a child and my youngest brother grew up eating fish fingers, spaghetti hoops and potato waffles as my step-mum tried everything and in the end just let him be. He's now a total computer geek, well educated, bright, fit and healthy. Still doesn't eat many different foods though!

Lots and lots of

 

[Linzi]

aww babe, you know the worst thing you can do is worry about it too much. If Seth knows that he is upsetting you then he will probably keep not eating for a reaction - a negative reaction is as good as a positive one iykwim.

I don't know what to suggest but I think that you just need to keep offering him a range of foods (nothing new, just expected stuff) and not make a fuss when he doesn't eat anything.

We're trying not to make a big deal of it, but its getting so hard, especially this weekend. He's barely eaten a think. I just keep thinking he must be starving and its totally breaking my heart.

I would make a Doctors appointment. Discuss his lack of eating and if he might have an allergy. Do you know if your DS is losing weight right now?

When your son isn't eating, does he get upset or does he just choose not to eat what you put in front of him? If you ask him what he wants to eat, what does he say?

Thanks hun. He did suffer lactose intolerance as a baby so I guess an allergy wouldn't be a huge suprise. I don't know if he is loosing weight, I think he is, as his clothes are fitting a bit differently now and he actually fits in his 3 month old sisters nappies.

We put it in front of him, then he generally makes an excuse as to why he doesn't like it e.g. the cheese is to stringy, he doesn't like it, it's too yellow. He doesn't get upset, just refuses to eat it.

If we ask him what he wants to eat, he'll say a sandwich or spaghetti bolognaise (which he then either pulls the filling out of, or just eats the pasta with no bolognaise on).

 

[Linzi]

^never thought of that actually!

need some pretty urgent help now i dot know what to do

this weekend he has eaten:
toasted teacake
smoothie
half a bowl of cereal

hes starving himself i dont know what to do

Please, please try to not so stressed about it I know its really hard - Tom can be really, really fussy with food and has quite a limited diet so I know what's it like to tear yourself up into knots worrying whether its your fault and what could you do differently to try and get them to eat more. And the hours spent making things for them to touch nothing

I would go to your doctor and explain everything and then get him checked - has he lost weight? is he aneamic? any allergies? If all of these come back ok then I would try really hard to not worry so much, try to avoid it becoming a total battleground and think that his diet while not good isn't doing him any harm. Or if there is a problem then something can be done about it.

I try and chill about Tom's eating now - he mainly eats spaghetti hoops, toast, yoghurt, tomato pasta and things like cheerios and cream crackers. He will eat strawberries, raspberries and apples but no veggies at home at all. But I was a really fussy eater as a child and my youngest brother grew up eating fish fingers, spaghetti hoops and potato waffles as my step-mum tried everything and in the end just let him be. He's now a total computer geek, well educated, bright, fit and healthy. Still doesn't eat many different foods though!

Lots and lots of

I think he probably is anemic yeah, he's always tired (which is why I think his behaviour is so bad too), he's very very pale, just completely listless and grumpy.

Might take him to the Drs yeah Just feel so awful that this is my fault. He's gone to bed crying because he didn't eat his dinner and wants something else. Everyone I spoke to said dont offer him anything else so we didn't, just put him to bed. My husband is there coz I just cant listen to him cry

 

[hattiehippo]

Ah its not your fault sweetie. You are doing your best and he is an independent little person who clearly has his own ideas about what should be happening - I've got one of those too. If Tom doesn't want to do something there is no moving him...gets his stubborn streak from me unfortunatly!

Take him to the doctors - at the worst everything will be fine and you won't need to worry so much about his eating or if there is something wrong they can start sorting it out.

 

[Linzi]

Thank you x

It sounds totally stupid, but one of the main things Im worried about is if I take him and they see him as being poorly coz of his eating they might think Ive done something because Ive got PND and Im under the care of a psychiactric unit at the moment. I know thats totally paranoid. I just want them to understand Im really doing everything I can

 

[OmarsMum]

Does he take a multi vit hun?

He sounds like my cousin, he's 5 yrs & he still eats boiled pasta, plain bread & rice only. My aunt offers him smoothies & milk shakes all day, & she blends veggies into his pasta tomato sauce. He doesn't eat any form of meat. My aunt distracts him with her iPad or TV & uses her hands to feed him his sandwiches & most of the time she spoon feed him when he's playing or distracted. He's anemic & he gets sick very easily. She makes eating as part of their playtime. He was a picky eater when he was younger & he started to go through regressions when his mum had his brother when he was 3 years. xx

 

[hattiehippo]

How about making a list of what food you offer him and what he actually eats so you can show the doctor you are offering healthy things?

 

[Linzi]

just to update

I called the health visitor yesterday and explained everything, Ive got to take him in to get weighed tomorrow and we'll go from there. Its a complex issue because he also sometimes gags and throws up so i do think theres something psychological behind it. we might get him referred to a nutritionist.

xx

 

[hattiehippo]

That's great news...well done calling the HV and fingers crossed you get referred xx

 

[sophxx]

That's great news let us know how you get on x