BFN - I've reached my plateau :)

[LilLeafyLea]

Hi girls After feeling quietly hopeful all day (11dpo) and not discussing my myriad of symptoms with anyone in the hope of not jinxing myself, I did a CBdigi - longest 3 minutes of my life!

As per the title suggests it was a BFN, but unlike previously where I felt that horrible sinking feeling of failure and the tick tick ticking of my ovaries warning me of their demise...I actually felt quite calm!

'Ok' I said to myself, 'It isn't your time but that's cool, it'll happen' and then I got on with cooking dinner and had a lovely evening with oh! Usually I see a BFN and my day is ruined!

So, even though this has been my 16th cycle I just feel like I've reached that point where I'm ok about it. I'm ok with not having conceived yet, I'm ok with knowing that I may have an even longer journey ahead.

Af isn't due for another three days but I'm past the point of stressing about this - It's not that I care any less about it but I can see the detrimental effect it's having on me and oh and it isn't a sustainable way to be.

Does anyone else ever get like this? Like the whole process is gaining momentum, it's become larger than itself and you need to step outside of the bubble, into the calm, to gage how big it actually is and which way it's heading?!

I need perspective and a relaxed approach to this or I think I will have a pulmonary when I finally get my BFP lol!

Thanks for 'listening' guys, wish I'd found this site a lot sooner! xxx

 

[jeoestreich]

I am the same way. AF came today and I got kind of disappointment but then I was like oh well. Guess we will try again next month. This is my 28th month of TTC.

 

[LilLeafyLea]

Hi Jeo, I'm happy you have the balls to keep trying! There's so much sorrow surrounding the conception game and it's great you have got to the point where you can shrug it off and carry on!

I think it helps if you keep in mind that every month that passes you're getting closer to a BFP rather than further from your dream x

 

[jeoestreich]

Thanks. At this point it is I am just like why stress. We broke done and saw a FS about a month ago. But my motto is it will happen when it happens. But I am temping and taking Clomid is really the only thing that I am doing to help with the process.