Bfp yesterday - today he doesnt think he loves me .....UPDATED

Massive hugs hun. So sorry...

 

Fizz im so sorry for your news and especially at a time when your hormones are all over the place as well. It may just be shock on his part but the things he said are unforgivable and he helped create this life and regardless i think he needs to take some responsability. No one can really advise you what you should do other than play things by ear for a little while and maybe try to start thinking along the lines that it maybe just you and the baby on this journey which is not an easy thing to do and my thoughts are with you im sure once things settle down you both may see things differently but whatever happens im sure your going to be a great mum i hope it all works out for you

 

You poor, poor thing.

I dont have much advice for you I'm afraid. You are going to spend the next while going through a rollercoaster of emotions, from happiness about your pregnancy, to sadness, to anger. If he is happy to throw away 14 years without even trying to work it out with you, or by running off to someone else, then maybe you and your baby are better off without him.

You will cope without him (even if it doesnt feel like it right now) and you have to remember that at the end of all this - you will have a beautiful child, and he will have nothing

xxx

 

i am SOOO sorry this is happening to you

it sounds like he is very confused at the moment and my best advice to give you..and it will be very hard..is to not call...dont try and stay in contact and if he does come back...you make sure he fights hard to get you back. this is so unfair to you. Not to say that he cant help how he feels..because sometimes we just cant...but to totally dismiss you and the baby like that...he seems like a child and doesnt deserve you.

I have been in your situation...believe me when i say i understand your pain. I have done it all to get back the one i loved and trust me when i say..it only pushes them away more. It makes it worse when you feel so rejected...you just want to get back what you had and make things better again...but the only thing that can make things better is time.

I wish i could say something to help fix this cause i hate seeing/hearing someone go through this pain. If you ever want to talk..please message me.

 

Hun, I am so sorry for what your going through and your mind is probably playing this scenario over and over again. The only thing I could advise you is to try and not take his insensitivity into account when deciding what to do now. His attitude stinks, and if he does have someone else..good luck to her, more fool anyone who thinks this type of man would be a catch after how he has treated you. Please dont try and rationalise his behaviour by thinking back to all the times you were unreasonable in arguments or fall outs. We all fall out in relationships, and this is NOT your fault. Do not allow yourself think that he will sail into the sunset all happy and rosy. It wont happen. I would get angry hun, and think about yourself. He MAY change his mind, but can you ever trust a man that would treat you like this at your most vulnerable. What do you want now hun?

 

you said it well. its like when a guy...or even a girl has to put down their partner and call them names...even if they were acting like a B**** or A**H***. theres never an excuse for it! someone has lots to learn if they are going to treat people that way. and complete dismiss them AND their own child most importantly...same scenario.

The hardest lesson to learn but we cant change someone...they have to change themselves.

XXX

 

Im so sorry hes being like that hun... it does sound like your better off without him....

 

hi

my advice to you would be to leave him out of your life and make no contact unless he attempts to talk through things with you. Your pregnant and you need positive vibes and you need to relax. You don't need the stress and immaturity in your life at the moment. As hard as it is to be a single mum if you have family and friends behind you you will be just fine and will find someone else who will except you and the baby into their life and make you happy.

My husband is 15 years older than me not that that makes a diff to us. He has 2 children, one who is 15 and one is who is 8 however he was happy to have another child as it would be with me.

I would leave him be and get on with your pregnancy its supposed to be a happy time in your life dont let him ruin it for you.

all the best xx

 

I am soooo sorry hun!!!!!!!!

 

Hey hun, if i was you personally i wouldnt be goin down the road of "what if he comes crawling back" you could be giving yourself false hope there

I know its not easy but you just have to accept what hes said keep your dignity hold your head up and start thinking about your baby

hope you feel better soon

xx

 

I am so sorry you are having to go through this.

 

am so sorry he's putting you through this thinking of you xxx

 

hello there pet,

I really thing he is acting in an unforgiveable way. If he was so unhappy why did he participate in the baby making process at all? Some may say that the preg may have shocked him but I don't think this is the case, he is being a twat, most of our ohs can feel strange after finding out we are pregnant, very few would treat us this shoddily!You are emotionally vulnerable and if he really cared for you he wouldn't be able to do this. With a baby on the way it is past the time for mind games! Any way rant over, just remember that you are a strong, independent woman and you have been blessed with the greatest gift. It is he who is losing out. thoughts and prayers are with you! xx

 

I cant put it any better than the other ladies have. I honestly feel that when you come out of the darkness you will realise what a lucky escape you had. You now have a child to focus on, it is the greatest gift. F*** him! Dont think about him coming back, move forwards without him and one day you will have a man you can trust in. Stay strong xxx

 

Goodness, so sorry your going through this hun, i messaged you before i read this post so you can message me if you want to chat x

 

stay strong!

 

sometimes men flip the eff out when they find out their partner is pregnant. my husband certainly impregnated me VERY on purpose with our son (who is now 5), but he seriously wigged out when he found out it worked.

he couldn't love me or our son any more than he does, and we're pregnant again nearly 6 years later, so... they can just be REAL idiots sometimes (scared).

i don't know what his deal is with saying he's been seeing someone else, that's a cruel tactic or a sad, fact. either way, best of luck sorting it out. it's easier to not have the difficulties of raising a baby alone, i'm sure, but if your sister thinks you're better off alone, maybe that's true?

i hate to see you so upset when you're just newly pregnant... that sucks.

best of luck, hun!!!

 

I agree with the others. Seriously concentrate on just you and your precious bundle now - its his loss and he really isnt worth it after what hes done and said. 14 years is a long time and I would have expected more from him but its obviously not worth it.

You have a bright future ahead with your little one .. hold your head up high and you'll soon find someone who'll love and appreciate you There are plenty of single mummies on here to support you (and non single mummies!) and you'll do a fantastic job xx