Bfp yesterday - today he doesnt think he loves me .....UPDATED

[fizz63]

Thanks for all your feedback girls ... it makes me feel stronger to hear all your comments and i know that i am doing the right thing in trying to plan a life without him. I said to him why did you agree to this then if you didnt want to and he made up some reason that he was coming off really strong painkillers for a few months at that time (he was) and that he didnt know where his head was at ... i am sorry but is that a side effect of painkillers ... telling your girlfriend you want a baby ...???

he also put me down and said that i can barely look after myself, let alone a baby ... I am a 38 year old woman who holds down a job and runs a house, which part do i not look after myself.

his options seem to be that i either get rid of the baby or if i dont then, we should get back together. I said i am not having an abortion and i dont want to get back together under these circumstances ! I asked him if he intended being in the babies life and he said either he is completely out and doesnt want anything to do with me or the baby or he is in and i have to go back to him .... i felt like i was being blackmailed. like one of you girls said - i need to feel like i am in the driving seat of my life and not the passenger.

its unbelievable that this horrible man is the man i have loved and been in a relationship with for the last 14 years ... the last 2 weeks (since telling him i was pregnant) have been a nightmare and the man i have known all those years has vanished and this is what is left ...........

 

[1st_timer]

Fizz I am sorry sorry to hear he is still be an arse. It sounds to me like he is starting to regret his decision to say that he doesn't want to be with you or part of the babies life and would now infact like to be involved. I agree that you absolutely need to be in control of your life and being together for the sake of the baby is not the right thing.

If you get back together it has to be because you both want to be with each other. What does he say about you being together if you were for example not to have the baby?

Big hugs xxx

 

[fizz63]

he is mixed up ... sometimes he says that we are "flogging a dead horse" with our relationship and that we dont get on etc and there is no future and then other times he says he has enjoyed being with me etc .... i just feel deep down that i deserve more than this and i also know that this would come back to haunt me. Even if he agreed to the baby and getting back together, i am sure there will come a time when he will regret this decision and make my life hell because of it..... i suggested we had a temporary split earlier in the year, which he didnt want but agree to .... and i have never heard the last of it ... how i shouldnt have left, that was the end of our relationship blah blah ... so i know he will bring all this back up again .... i have needed his support of the last 2 weeks and i have had nothing from him. When i told him about the baby he just treated me like a leper.

i dont know why i am fighting this really ... when i know i am better on my own ... i guess its just the length of time we have been together ...

 

[fluffyblue]

What sort of tw*t is he literally emotionally blackmailing you into one or the other, you sound like a very strong independant woman to me who knows her own mind so I would just do as your heart and soul tells you. Take care !

 

[gnomette]

sorry hun but he sounds like a twat! you are so much better off with out him an so will your baby if he wants to be around then let him but you will be better off with out him my sons father has never seen my son an we are so much better off wit out him!
i know its hard but in the long run you will be happier in the long run!