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nkbapbt

Double Preemie Momma
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Before you read this, the baby is ok. The :cry: is because of my husband.

I had random bleeding a few weeks ago, but because it was only a couple of weeks after my period, I thought there was no way it was implantation bleeding. I took a test too soon clearly and got a BFN, well I took one last night a on whim. Literally I was peeing, stopped and had some weird urge to take one...sure enough positive. I didn't have many signs before the positive, now I do...so odd. Well I told my husband through my tears, tears because I knew what he would feel/say. He wants me to have an abortion, because we are struggling right now money wise. I don't want too, but I also could not stand having another baby in the situation we are in now. I am basically raising Lakai alone, money is tight but not terrible. Lakai never wants for anything. Ive been able to already save $4000 for his education fund, in my mind that's pretty good.

So I agreed to at least think about it, after much debate my husband said you need to decide soon. So I said I would talk to the doctor about it.

Later that night (yesterday) he said he landed two major clients, maybe three. I asked what that would mean for our family, he said we would be "good" money wise with just two clients and great with three. And this would be months before the baby was born. And in nine months he could likely build up more.

WTF? I felt so betrayed, like he waited till I agreed to more than I was even remotely comfortable with to tell me. It feels like he manipulated me into agreeing. And I called him out on it, I said did you wait to tell me that in a few short months (Jan) money wouldn't be an issue?!. He denies it, but it does not sit right with me and frankly my gut feeling and how well I know him....I think I am right. Ive been together off and on for 14 years...I think I have a good sense of the man.

I was fuming. He said we couldn't talk about it because he was too tired to think straight, as he never gets enough sleep...another rant.

I explained having an abortion could cause me to never have another baby, or make the fact Im a risk for a preemie worse. He never thought about that.

He claims that it was more than just money issues, it was also how would care for the baby...well that should be more like how would I since I already do care totally for Lakai so my husband can work from home without being bothered (he is self employed), and how would Lakai deal with it (something I do see eye to eye with him on but think when would Lakai ever deal with it better?).

It felt like he was trying to back track on his first claim of it only being about money. He then said I thought you were worried about more than money too, well I wasn't.

I am so angry and I am not sure if it's the pregnancy hormones or what...what do you lovely ladies think? How would you feel?

:nope:
 
How do YOU feel about it all hun? Thats whats more important, if I'm being honest.
 
I feel like we got pregnant for a reason, it's meant to be. And I dont have the heart to KILL my (well our) child. Sure it could be rough...but he fails to see how and ways we could cut back and make this work.

I dont want to risk an abortion (aside from the moral side of it) and end up unable to have kids...what do I tell Lakai when he asks for a sibling?

My husband and I were just talking about toys for Lakai and he slipped and said "them" instead of "him" when I said "them??" he is like it was a mistake. I know it's a little thing but it still bugs me.

I want the baby, I keep thinking...what if...what if we go full term...what if it's a girl (which I would love but a boy would be just as awesome)....what if..

I wish I knew how to talk to him to get him to see my side of things, he hasn't even brought it up this morning yet.
 
Forum rules:
While BabyandBump try to remain pro-choice on most subjects, out of respect for majority of our members that are either trying to conceive, or pregnant, we ask that you do not discuss topics on abortion and terminations outside of the 'Ethical Prenatal Losses' forum.
 
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