~~~ Big family wanted ~ trying for #3 + ~~~

Discussion in 'Trying To Conceive' started by Gemmamumof2, Nov 10, 2010.

  1. Gemmamumof2

    Gemmamumof2 mummy of 2 ttc 3rd x

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    no - and he's 4 almost 5!!

    My partner is all he knows... his sperm donar is not even fit to even be called that.. and my partner and his family are brilliant with him,
    I'm not sure when is right time... I dont mind when he's older and can handle whatever happens to know and go and find out more, but at moment i feel hes still a child and dont want his head to be messed with...my ex is on birth certificate and scared everytime i get mail incase its a solicitor letter and hes changed his mind!!..

    I know since hes had another son and done exact same thing... however he sees him at access centre...

    my exs mum had ALOT to do with it she wasnt right in the head she was an overbearing parent - loads went off she basically wanted my baby!
     
  2. janeybaby

    janeybaby 18 mths TTC BFP 5 Apr 11

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    Neither of the girls dads are on their birth certificate thank god and as I am the only one with parental responsibility there was no need to ask the ex's :) The oldest dad wasnt happy when he took us to court 2 months after the name change but hay hoo he left me as soon as he knew I was pregnant..... An 18 month court case turned to nothing as he couldnt be bothered to do what was asked of him in order to establish contact with a child he had never seen :( she was 4 when we had to tell her about her real father, she is now 11 and never mentions him. The other DD is 9 but has a global delay so I don't think she is ready or ever will be to understand it:wacko:
     
  3. Gemmamumof2

    Gemmamumof2 mummy of 2 ttc 3rd x

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    i think i'll tell my son soon jut not sure how ...

    all i asked of my ex was to be consistent for 6 weeks 2 hour on a saturday at access centre then after it will change like 1 hour at park etc..

    1st time access centre - the supervisors wrote a note he asked another dad to watch kayden while he went out for cigerette x 4 times (2hours)
    2nd time - couldnt stay for the 2 hours as he needed go shopping for his mum
    3rd time - busy xmas shopping couldnt come
    4th time - no show
    then after i got a letter if he couldnt see him on his own now he didnt want to persue access - in fact none of this was for him it was for his mum..

    she spent 1st 4 weeks of kaydens life trying convince my health visitor i was a mental case - even she laughed....
     
  4. janeybaby

    janeybaby 18 mths TTC BFP 5 Apr 11

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    Oh dear thats not good, you and you boy are better off out of that family.

    I know the feeling with the solicitor leters etc.. but we kept our address hiden and did eveything through my parents address.....they have moved since:happydance: so we are harder to track down.

    It was a horrible day the day i had to tell DD she did change a bit in her personality and went from very very happy 4 yr old to a little bit quiet. we have already had the "your not my dad" moment now she is in comp lol but she soon says sorry
     
  5. Gemmamumof2

    Gemmamumof2 mummy of 2 ttc 3rd x

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    i think my son knows something as he loves his 'dad' but hes not as close to him as he is me. im crying just thinking of telling him ... its more fact telling him shelbie is his half sister not full and that bens her daddy but not his.... for 4 years we been this perfect little family scared it'll drive my son mad... as hes a little delicate
     
  6. Lashes85

    Lashes85 Mommy to FOUR boys <3

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    Same here!!
    Harry will be 7 on thursday, and he has no clue! I don't want him to ever find out cause it will break his heart. But you hear off these stories where kids find out later in life and blame there moms, and go off the rails. It scares me. My biggest fear is him wanting to find his biological father, who's now got 5 kids by 5 women!! xx
     
  7. Gemmamumof2

    Gemmamumof2 mummy of 2 ttc 3rd x

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    that scares me....but then i think if tell him at about 10 hes old enough. but then i think bout if they meet n his familt tell him loads lies bout y they didnt see him and decides he wants live with them etc etc.....
     
  8. lornapj83

    lornapj83 Me my 6 boys 1 little girl and our jellybean baby

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    hey sorry to intrude but my eldest son i had to explain to him the man that bought him up from birth was not his biological father i told my son when he was 6 cos like you i was worried like when he got older he will blame me and hate me and want to live with him but he took it in his stride and now with my oh who loves all my kids the same he tells everyone he is my daddy and if asked about anything he will say he didnt help make me but hes my daddy hes nearly 10 now in april xx :)
     
  9. Kirsti

    Kirsti MumOf3Boys And Pregnant!

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    Hey im ttc number 4!! i always said no more but i know we are happy and wanting more!! i have a 3 year old 2 year old and 6 month old!! all boys! not bothered bout sex just love being a mummy!
    my oh is brill to!

    On the different dad thing!

    all my kids are the same dad BUT my sisters and me have different dads!
    my mum told me when i was 14 that my "dad" wasnt my dad and i went off the rails for all of 3 months! then i sat with her while she explained what happened (he bailed!!) and im closer now to her than ever! dont worry to much :)
    xxxx
     
  10. Gemmamumof2

    Gemmamumof2 mummy of 2 ttc 3rd x

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    thankyou made me feel better :)..

    sstarting tothink will never happen again... you ever feel you've 'had your time' with kids and never going to happen again..

    keep looking at bfn after bfn....

    i think hardest thing is coz i KNOW how getting that bfp feels i know what its like feel baby move that 1st scan the first time you hold baby.... :(

    11dpo ANOTHER bfn :(
     
  11. mrsessex

    mrsessex Well-Known Member

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    Think I'm 10dpo today too scared to test. Won't test at all this month can't face too see a neg- puts me on a downer the whole day no good when I'm
    At work

    It will happen for everyone, in time

    :dust:
     
  12. Gemmamumof2

    Gemmamumof2 mummy of 2 ttc 3rd x

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    i brough 30 off ebay - wish i never did :(

    your right puts me on a downer
     
  13. Lashes85

    Lashes85 Mommy to FOUR boys <3

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    Aww, thats made me feel loads better.
    Just noticed we both have a Charlie and Harry lol :) xx
     
  14. Gemmamumof2

    Gemmamumof2 mummy of 2 ttc 3rd x

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    our next is a charlie...

    well Charleigh for a girl and Charlie for a boy x
     
  15. magicvw

    magicvw Hoping for a 3rd

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    Hi girls - can I join you :flower:

    I'm 37 and have a 4 yr old and 18 months and ttc another one! x
     
  16. Gemmamumof2

    Gemmamumof2 mummy of 2 ttc 3rd x

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    more the merrier makes us feel not so crazy :)

    how long have you been trying?
     
  17. magicvw

    magicvw Hoping for a 3rd

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    We started ttc when Eddie was 3 months old, so that was a year and two months ago, but I have hormonal problems and I was "forced" on the pill for 3 months to try to regulate my cycle, and I just took another three months off because we were moving house and setting up a new business and life was a bit too hectic! So that makes what ---8 months.

    How about you?
     
  18. Gemmamumof2

    Gemmamumof2 mummy of 2 ttc 3rd x

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    3 years

    2 years not trying not preventing and 1 year trying 100% :(
     
  19. Gemmamumof2

    Gemmamumof2 mummy of 2 ttc 3rd x

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    just googled cervix as was interested by a question....
    well
    1, id like to kno how they got cam up there lol
    2, omg is that what they look like
    3, everything i read on cervix gone out window as they look different after pregnany

    just looks like a little willy up there lol
     
  20. magicvw

    magicvw Hoping for a 3rd

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    lol I was shocked when i saw my first cervix piccie!

    Sorry it's been 3 yrs for you hun :hugs: Did it take long with your 2? I ttc'd 10 month for no.1 and then 18 months for no.2 xx
     

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