Birth trauma counselling?

[SoupDragon]

I'm wondering if anyone can recommend a service that specialises in counselling for birth trauma? I'm in the south of the UK.

It's a bit late on...DD is nearly 15 months...but I'm not healing emotionally, really, and I need help. I've been diagnosed with PND, and started the process of setting up telephone counselling (all that's offered/available from my GP), but the appointments kept falling through and it was stressing me out so much trying to find a time when I could talk on the phone uninterrupted for half an hour each week that I never pursued it.

I had a long labour with a macrosomic back-to-back baby, which ended in an emcs that I never felt I had any say in, and I had some difficulties bonding in the beginning, plus a slow physical recovery/wound infection from the c-section, failure at breastfeeding, and stuff like intrusive thoughts that made (and still do, actually) me feel like a terrible mother.

Up to now, I feel like everything is my fault, I can't give myself any spare time to relax, I feel like I always have to be doing something, keeping the house perfect (it's a pigsty all the time so I'm not very good at that either), keeping DD content and I feel awful when she acts up and makes DH frustrated. I feel like I shouldn't ask DH to do anything (he does do housework and is good with DD) and when I do have to ask for help I'm failing at whatever it is too. I never used to be like this before having DD, and I think the root cause of my issues is the birth.

I work full time and also have a chronic medical condition that has fatigue as a major part of it. I cosleep with DD part of the night, so only maybe once in a blue moon will I get to sleep through, because she still wakes and needs me most nights, then I bring her into bed with me. I'm just so tired and worn down, and all this is affecting my marriage. We never argued before, now we bicker constantly. I really need help!

I did have a birth afterthoughts meeting with a midwife when DD was about 7 months, and it was good to look through my notes, but she couldn't offer any explanation for why certain things had been done, and I got the impression that if I'd been left alone and not had so much intervention, I might have got DD out on my own. She pretty much just told me not to be angry about it, and to be glad that DD hadn't experienced any distress or anything worse, and that we were both physically healthy.

I'd be grateful if anyone can offer a recommendation

 

[Teri7489]

Hey there, your post made me cry as I could have written it myself. I had a horrific labour with my dd. Back to back baby, pushed for 2 hours then had an emergency forces delivery in the room which resulted in a 4th degree tear and long term incontinence. I was diagnosed with PTSD, PND and was referred to a psychologist who treated me with Eye movement reprocessing light therapy. My daughter was around 14 months at the point and had just found out I was expecting again. Its never too late to get the help you need. You've been through a traumatic experience and if you are still struggling to come to terms with it then I'd suggest going back to your gp to be referred to a counselling course. Mine took 6 sessions at 2 hours each one. It was exhausting and you are advised not to work the rest of the day as its so intense but worked really well. My sons birth was an elective section so was able to enjoy my pregnancy and even when I went in to labour on my own at night I didn't panic, went to the hospital and had my section which was great. You will get through it, those horrid feelings will go away but maybe you need some help to do that. Good luck. If you want more info send me a private message xxx

 

[SoupDragon]

Thank you so much for your post. I'm so glad the treatment worked for you; it sounds like you had a much worse experience than I did. I will go back to the gp and ask for a different referral, and see if they can offer something else. I was never given any option other than antidepressants (which I declined because I was still pumping) and telephone cbt, but maybe since those options were not suitable for me, they can offer something else.

 

[Bebedeux]

I had CBT cognitive behaviour therapy. I had PTSD and PPD. I had the same as you intrusive taughts and flashbacks. The flashbacks still two years later still haunt me. My PTSD was so bad I couldn't go into the antenatal clinic without having a panic attack. I had to be treated outside clinic times and had to have allot of counselling when I pregnant because of what happened on my DS birth. The midwifes and doctors that were on that day my DS was born were banned from from my labor suite because of what they did to me.

CBT has helped me greatly I can deal with the flash backs and stressful situations better. I can put the situation into context and understand it. My inlaws in the last couple of months have seriously upset and stressed me out. CBT is the best way to deal with them.
I am on antidepressants and I do genuinely feel they've helped also with the CBT.