Birthing partners

[DivineDiamond]

Hi Ladies

So I'm 38+4 and really excited to meet our little girl, my parents have come to stay with us for the holidays (they live 4 hours away) and my mum was to stay until baby arrives , due Jan 7th

So my DH & Mum was supposed to be my birthing partners but unfortunately my Mum has fallen off the wagon after nearly 2 years sober and over the last few days has really caused me & my husband a lot of stress with her behaviour. We didn't have any alcohol in our house over Christmas as I can't drink (obviously) and my DH wants to stay 100% sober ready for baby to arrive (we're not big drinkers anyway)

My mum has gone back to her old habits and last night everything got really stressful, at this point she had consumed 2 bottles of wine and was being really loud when DH and I were trying to sleep, DH had work the next morning and I'm just tired anyway being this far pregnant. I went down and asked 3 times for her to quieten down, but she became aggressive towards me and my Dad and just lost control of herself verbally, my DH came downstairs as soon as she started getting aggravated towards me and kicked her out, I was really upset by it all but did agree with his actions. My Dad checked her in to a hotel near by so we know she's safe.

So because of all this I've asked her to leave and said I don't want her at the birth, it will be just me and my DH, it's our first child so I wanted an experienced person with us when I was in labour to support me & DH, but I can't take that risk now as I don't trust her to control her drinking.

My question is, do you think we will be ok just the two of us. Naturally I'm anxious as it's new to both of us. Do you think I've done the right thing by not allowing her to be there?

Thanks ladies any advice/thoughts welcome xxxx

 

[emeeorevan]

You will do great. I know yu wish your mom could be there but it sounds like you can't trust her to be sober. If that's the case you made the right call. Maybe (just maybe) she is doing this cause she is a little anxious/nervous/ scared for you? Is this her first grandchild?

 

[RaspberryK]

It's perfectly normal to just have you and dh, it'll be very special and you'll do just fine.
Xx

 

[wifey2013]

Sorry about your mum. You and DH will both do fine together though!

 

[Lisa2701]

Loads of couples have their first child just the two of them, you will be fine and remember the midwives will support you both also and are very experienced in getting first time parents through the birth of their child. Good luck, sure everything will go well

 

[d_b]

Sorry about your mom, how disappointing. I only had DH each time and it was great, that is what I wanted tho. I think my mom would pass out, lol!

 

[emmi26]

I'm only having my husband you will be fine the midwives will look after you and help you that's all the experience you need hun

 

[DivineDiamond]

Thank you so much for your kind words and advice it really is appreciated

I feel more at ease now and feel like just me & husband being at the birth is for the best. I'm due in 8 days so hopefully little lady appears soonish if I'm late no doubt I'll be posting to ask for advice on how to get labour in motion!

Xxxxx

 

[ladders]

Really sorry to hear about your mum troubles not the best time to be dealing with such stress so do try to relax if you can.
You and your dh will be fine, I'm only having my dh because he wanted it just to be the two of us (sister had mum there as well as dh so think she was expecting to with us too) but I think it will be better. It then gives dh a chance to step up and be the one looking after me and getting to baby first without mum wanting to take charge too. I think it's nice for it just to be the two of you because it's new for you both and it's about you two and baby and starting your owe little family

 

[Perplexed]

Sorry about your mom.

I think you will be fine with just your DH. It was mostly just me and DH during my first labor. My mom was around but wasn't there for the whole thing. She wasn't there for the beginning or the end due to another family member being in the same hospital. We were just fine and the midwives were so supportive!

 

[kirsty15032]

Sorry about your mum. When I had my daughter it was just me and oh and it was perfect really connected us as a family of 3. Baby boy due in 3 weeks and will just be the 2 of us again you will do fine it all comes natural and it means you don't have some one offering their advice on how they would do things you can figure it out together.

 

[londonangel]

You'll be fine - don't worry. I suspect the majority of women just have their other half at the birth. I certainly wasn't going to let my mum anywhere near the birthing room - she'd have driven me mad probably, much as I love her!

I didn't even tell my parents I was in labour, just rang them the day after to tell them they had a granddaughter ;-) This time sadly I need them to look after Eleanor so cannot get away with them not knowing about the being in labour bit.

Sorry to hear about your mum but I think you've made the right decision. I would be concerned about having her around the baby anyway if she was still consuming large amounts of alcohol. Hopefully she will be able to get some help to get back on the wagon as I understand it must be really stressful for you and the family.