Birthing room

Discussion in 'Labour & Birth' started by fairydust101, Dec 15, 2019.

  1. fairydust101

    fairydust101 Member

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    Hi all, so i need some advice..
    my partner and i split a couple of days after i found out i was pregnant. He told me he didn't qant the baby and that i 'should get rid of it'. He was absokutely vile to me about the baby and about myself. Then he came back begging me etc. but we dont work and then went again. He has been discusting to me for the last 8 weeks since i found out. He is now telling me - after weeks of telling me to 'kill the thing' that he will be at the birth no matter what i say and he will have the baby after the birth.
    It is not as simple as this. So, he is a drug user. He uses Cannibis, Ketamine, Valium and whatever else he can get his hands on on a regular basis - and by this i mean daily.
    I am not wrong in thinking that i do not have to give him rights to enter the room or even tell him that i have gone into labour am i? I do not have to allow him to be there?
    I know it sounds horrible but he has told me to 'kill the thing' multiple times and been discusting to me and all the while i have still offered him to attend appointments in plenty of time which he has never showed up to.
    What should i do? any advice?
    I do not want him at the birth as i dont need the extra stress, i plan on as calm a labour as possible without him there making me feel uncomfortable.
     
  2. OnErth&InHvn

    OnErth&InHvn Mom to 4

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    There is a chance IF hes there and they think hes high that theyll take the baby from both of you.

    Why are you putting up with his behavior??? Leave him NOW. Hes not going to get better because of the baby. Hes a drug addict. They dont wake up better one day. They die.
     
  3. Bevziibubble

    Bevziibubble Well-Known Member
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    You don't have to let him in the room. He sounds vile. Plus he is a danger to your baby with the drug use so if you make the hospital aware then they will hopefully put something in place to deny him access to the room.
     
  4. OnErth&InHvn

    OnErth&InHvn Mom to 4

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    As for him getting the baby (custody wise/visits/kidnappin), I mean he can try but hes be in bigger trouble by not going through the court system first. Here in ohio, mother automatically has custody if parents arent married and father has to get a DNA test and then apply in court. I went through it with my DS.
     
  5. fairydust101

    fairydust101 Member

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    Thanks for all of your quick replies. I am not with him anymore, he is living on his friends sofa. He is constantly discusting to me, i dont know what else i can do other than block him which i have done. Okay so i definately do not have to give him access to the delivery room?
    I will make sure the Nurses know at the hospital however there really isnt any way of him knowing ive gone into labour unless i told him which i do not plan on doing. My midwife also knows about his drug use and all what has gone on between us.
    Thank you everyon for your advice xx
     
  6. HLx

    HLx Mummy to Layla, George & Enzo <3

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    Wow what a piece of work! Make your midwife aware of all this going on, and also the midwives when you give birth, if this dangerous asshole is going to try and do the things he says hes going to do, the hospital staff WILL NOT let him in, and the police will be called if he breaches this. Dont worry about having the baby taken from you, that will not happen, just make sure you tell all healthcare providers what's going on, what hes planning ect.. your baby does not need a father like that in its life, what an absolute scumbag that deserves a big hard slap if I'm honest
     
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  7. fairydust101

    fairydust101 Member

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    Yeah he's vile. I dont know what happened to him! I dont think he'd try to take the bbay for good but hes saying regardless of what i say he will see his baby after. Or to quote 'MY BABY'. I don't know who he thinks he is but its my choice who i have in the room with me and it certainly will not be him. I'm now unsure of what to do with regards to the Birth certificate. I have always had an issue with mothers using their children and not letting the father see their kids, which is not what i would do. However i do not want him in the room when i give birth and i certainly do not want him taking the baby on his own due to his drug use, this is all very stressful and i don't know what i should do for the best and for the safety of baby.
     
  8. HLx

    HLx Mummy to Layla, George & Enzo <3

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    I dont think for one minute youd be using the baby against him on the birth certificate! After all hes said and done, I dont think he deserves to be involved let alone on the birth certificate, he sounds like a right dangerous b******. Run a mile, and take your baby with you if that was me
     
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  9. fairydust101

    fairydust101 Member

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    Thank you for your advice and support, i appreciate it xx
     
    HLx likes this.

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