Bit of a morbid subject...

[Mum1980]

Really is a morbid subject.. but I'm wondering whether anyone has made wills etc since having their children? Particularly those who haven't had their children christened?

I only got thinking about this last night after watching a documentary and it contained someone dying young.. It made me think about who I'd want to look after my girls if anything happened to myself and OH.

We haven't had our girls christened as OH would prefer them not to be.
Since they have no Godparents, it made me wonder what would happen to them if something suddenly happened to both of us..

Has anyone made 'plans' for anything like this? And how is it done? Through solicitors and the like? xxx

 

[Blah11]

No but I've made my feeling perfectly clear that if me and OH died amelie has to be looked after by my mum.

 

[kittykitty]

Hope you don't mind me jumping in to the parenting section.

My husband and I brought the DIY Wills kit from Staples about a week ago so we can write one each. We are waiting for our boy to arrive imminently but we are struggling on the 'who will be the childrens guardians' thing.

Worst case scenario my parents work away so they couldn't have our son, his parents are that little too old, my brother isn't settled enough to be a father (mature enough but still lives at home and it wouldnt be fair on him), his sister already has 3, his younger brother...well...no, and his older brother has just returned to work after going throught the toddler / pre-school age so wouldn't think he would be suitable.

It is so hard...

 

[2nd time]

before my dd was born i told my sister she would have her if anything happened to us lol note i said told, she was soo happy i thought so much of her lol

ps its npt morbid it is common sense

 

[princess_bump]

Yep we have, me and my soon to be hubby are making mirror wills, whereby they compliment each other, and state our wishes if something was to happen to us. if anything was to happen to me or OH, then my mum and dad would take full custody of maddi, and our assets until she is 18. if anything was to happen to my parents, then my cousin would have full custody of her. tbh i feel really strongly about this, i have no siblings, and maddi doesn't no OH's family so i think it's really important to have it written down legally.

 

[LittleMadam]

I did a few months after my daughter was born. As I am a single mummy, if something happens to me, custody with go to my parents and then my sisters jointly.

xx

 

[marley2580]

Yes, we've just had mirror wills done. My mum gets the kids if something happens to both of us.

 

[Jody R]

waves hello.

I wanted my cousin and her DH to have Joseph if anything happened to us. I was planning to ask her when she came to visit but 17 months on she still hasn't been so now I don't know who we could ask.

You can have an arrangement formalised with a solicitor and a lot of people tie it in with a naming ceremony.

 

[Eala]

This is something which we have the top of our "To do" list.

Initially we just thought "Oh, my parents will have her", but then realised that will be impossible. My parents can't/won't (not sure which) guarantee that my ex-brother (whom they still have contact with) would never see her. So I refuse to name them as guardians should the worst happen to both myself and DH.

Leaves us in a sticky position. No way I'd be happy with her going to any of the in-laws, even if they didn't all live hundreds of miles away.

We have a few options in mind, but it's just trying to make a decision, then talk to the people in question and see how they feel.

It's not a happy subject in our house

 

[welshwarriors]

Me and OH talked about it quite a bit since having LO. We both agreed what is going to happen with LO and the ppl involved know our wishes. OH got a will with the army, but I defo need to put down in writing what our wishes are regarding LO especially since we don't talk to the inlaws anymore, I don't want them to suddenly think they could be the guardians to my child.

 

[Mum1980]

Thanks everyone.

I guess we really need to put our wishes down on paper and maybe leave it in the safe we have....
I think I may query it with a solicitor, so I know it's all legal. I'd hate to think that us just writing it down wouldn't be enough and courts or someone end up deciding what's best for my children

I do have an issue on who I'd like to look after my children, should the worst happen.
My parents are not option - My Dad died 8yrs ago and my Mum's 76yrs old..
OH's mum and stepdad live here in Manchester - and I know for a fact that my family would probably never see my daughters again..

It's a really hard decision to make
I don't have any close friends.. I live away from family and the friends I did have before I moved.. well, we're just not that close anymore.. they've seen pics, but never met my girls.

Lots of thought need to be put into this xxx

 

[PeanutBean]

After some changes in our and their lives we've just settled on legal guardians so really need to get the paperwork sorted. It's hugely important and I'm pretty ashamed we haven't sorted it yet. If you guardian choice isn't next if Kim then in the law they won't get the child without a will however much you mention your wishes.

Also, godparents have no legal guardianship rights, there still has to be a will scenic your child is christened.

 

[AppleBlossom]

Yes I've made a will. I won't write what my wishes are on here as it's public but I have one with a solicitor and have a copy here with me

 

[Racheldigger]

Yes, it is important to get it down on paper, officially, and have someone know that you've done so and where it is, otherwise your orphaned child/children end up in State care while the various family members, godparents etc. fight it out in court, or in the opposite scenario, while whoever ends up dealing with your estate desperately tries to find anyone who's willing and prepared to take this unexpected responsibility on. We're still in the middle of doing this: we've managed to get two couples to agree to be LO's guardians, now we just have to write the actual will!

 

[v2007]

If anything happens to me, Shaun looks after the kids, house etc.

But if both me and Shaun pass, Rhiann my BFF get the kids and the cat.

V xxx

 

[kiwimama]

We haven't made a will out yet but have life insurance.

 

[Mommy Dearest]

I don't feel this is morbid, and if it is then I have this morbid thought regularly. I thought I was weird as well, because my daughter is only 15 now, and I've thought about this since she was quite a bit younger.

My OH and I have talked about it before, and even though we don't have a living will or a will of any sort, we decided that we'd want my mother to take care of our Lilli.

It makes me feel less of a psycho knowing other moms out there think of the same things.