Hi I could have written your post myself. Our LO swallowed a lot of blood during labour filling her tummy. I kept saying to the hospital she wasn't feedin well and they kept saying she was fine. On day 3 when she vomited black blood everywhere and we were readmitted but maternity refused to have us back because we'd come through A&E ans then the children's ward. By this time my supply was so Damaged thy had to give her formula whilst i fed and pumped every hr and a half to try to stimulate my supply. It didn't work and at 6wks we switched to formula completely because she was never happy after a bf.
It breaks my heart thinking about it BUT since we made thechange our dd has been happy, settled, gaining weight at the correct rate, she sleeps well, smiles at eveyone and is generally beautiful. I did what was best for her and that's what makes me a good mummy to her.
Yes bm is best for them BUT it's not the be all and end all and sometimes there is a place for formula. We as mummy's do what we need to do for our lo's.
It does upset me sometime how some people are so pro breastfeeding that they can't see how hard some people try yet don't succeed at and how their strong bf views can make a tough decision harder. When I was considering stoppingi talked to my sil who listened to me in tears and her response was "oh don't stop it's so good for them.". Her comment made it even tougher because it made me feel I was giving my baby second best.
I envy you all so much .. & even after nearly 9 months of my LO being here .. I still think about how I couldn't breastfeed my daughter 
I guess sometimes I just feel extremely guilty because I know breast is best & I couldn't give my daughter what was best for her 
