Bit of a rant about OH's mother! Help anyone?

Discussion in 'Teen Pregnancy' started by NewToThis_x, Apr 21, 2009.

  1. NewToThis_x

    NewToThis_x Well-Known Member

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    Il try to keep it short..
    Only found out a few days ago (through 4 home preg tests all positive) that im pregnant..
    Not even been to the docters or anything like that yet...
    My OH told his mum as soon as id found out..iv not told my mum yet cause i dont want to until iv had everything confirmed etc.

    Since he told his mum she's done nothing but nag nag nag me and its driving me mad!! The first thing she said to me was and i quote "If you get an abortion your banned from my house and il never speak to you agen"
    What a lovely thing to say to a 17 year old thats just found out shes preg? I dont think so. (OH didnt agree with this comment btw he's also getting annoyed with her and told her so but she didn't seem to change at all)
    And now she's going on about it all the time..I have the docters tomorrow and she wants to go with me! I dont want her there though so she wont be coming in. lol
    She keeps saying things like...Il buy all its clothes, Il look after it while you work/college, Il buy it what ever it needs, Its my grandchild you cant get rid..etc etc..

    Ok so i might sound totally ungreatful but im really getting sick of it! Does she understand if i have this baby its gonna be mine and her sons responsability? I dont want to rely on her for anything...

    Its just getting really hard to bear..feels like shes trying to control everything to do with my baby/pregnancy..

    Sorry for the long rant but needed someone to complain to..:dohh:

    Any advice on how to deal with an overbearing OH's parent is very very welcome..

    Thanks xx

    Forgot to mention we are keeping this baby..& it hasn't been influenced by what she's said.
     
  2. Serene123

    Serene123 Guest

    When I was afraid someone close to me would have an abortion I offered to buy everything / do everything for that child untill they wanted it. I was scared for that person and didn't mean they couldn't do it, if they wanted to. Does that make sense?

    :hugs: I'm sure she is just scared for you hun, honestly! I've been in that position and an abortion is the last thing you want that person close to you or your family to go through x
     
  3. NewToThis_x

    NewToThis_x Well-Known Member

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    Thanks Iv not thought about it like that before..
    Maybe she'll back off a little when she knows were keeping it
    x
     
  4. Kimboowee

    Kimboowee Complete

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    I hope for your sanity she backs off! Though Toria is right i would be the same offering to help out however i could so they wouldnt consider abortion x
     
  5. Hes_My_hero

    Hes_My_hero Member

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    shes just being careing, alot of people would love to be in your shoes most parents would say have an abortion... Oooh i'm from bolton :D

    x
     
  6. Serene123

    Serene123 Guest

    Agreed.

    I think you're very lucky to have her support x
     
  7. shaunanicole

    shaunanicole Guest

    Sadly I don't know your exact position because my hubby's mother has never been in the picture. She left him and his father when he was just a month old and since then has never contacted him. But my mother is the same EXACT way. She is constantly buying the baby stuff. She has bought countless packs of diapers, tons of clothes and bibs, bottles, pacifiers, and even last weekend got the baby a bassinet. It upset me and my hubby at first because we want to do things on our own but then we thought about it and became grateful. Thanks to her the baby has tons of stuff already and financially that helps us out a great deal. We never asked for her to do it, she did it out of the kindness of out heart. She is constantly telling me the baby will never go without and she has gone with me to most of my doctors appointments and has sat in the ER with me for hours. Sure she drives me nuts with her phone calls, nagging, and wanting to be involved in every little aspect but she lets me know she loves my child and is willing to do her part as a grandmother. Feel blessed your boyfriends mom is wanting to be that involved. I know you might want your space and that is okay but this child is also a part of her to. Set down boundary lines for her and stick with them and express how her giving you no space really upsets you. I am sure within time she will respect your feelings and not be as clingy. Until then keep in mind she is just trying to be there for the baby and feel extremely blessed she truly wants to be there for the child. Not too many people have that in their lives. :hugs:
     
  8. NewToThis_x

    NewToThis_x Well-Known Member

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    Thanks everyone thats replied..Im gonna try and be abit more tollerant i guess she's is just trying to help xx
     
  9. jelix9408

    jelix9408 Mommy to Willow <3

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    hello .. im not totally in your position but i know how you feel .. my hubbys mom is also saying if something happens to my grandkid ill kill you blah blah blah .. but she isnt nagging constantly at me and him. i know shes only saying it because its her only sons first baby. but my mom is the one always budding in with everything wanting to plan the baby shower .. wanting to go to ALL apointments .. but i think something though this pregnancy me and my hubbys have to go through alone .. to expierence it alone you know? and thats what i think with your case .. you guys are the parents and somethings you want to be special with just you and him and i think shes just excited shes going to be a grandma and doesnt want anything bad to happen to you or the baby. i dont think she means any harm .. but it wont be a bad thing for her to go every once in awhile to an apointment ... make her feel alittle bit better maybe she'll stop nagging so much. hope all goes well and congrats on the pregnancy!
     
  10. vicky9207

    vicky9207 Well-Known Member

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    I Hope Things Get Better For You!

    Congrates Anyway On Your Pregnancy :)
     
  11. aidensxmomma

    aidensxmomma 4 on Earth, Many in Heaven

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    Hey hun. Like everyone else said, I'm sure she's just saying all that so you know you're supported and so that you know she wants you to keep the baby. I'm sure it's very frustrating though. I never went through that, but I think once she learns that you are keeping the baby, she'll back off some. And if not, you can try to calmly explain to her that you and your OH are happy you have her support but want to do this together and that if you need her help, you will ask her for it.
     
  12. lissaloo

    lissaloo Well-Known Member

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    mother in laws are like the beasts from hell BUT it might be that she's excited and wants to make sure she's not pushed out !!

    Maybe you could have a talk with her and explain that although you want her to be a part of your babies life that it's going to be your baby and you need to

    be the parent !!

    or you could just tell to f**k right off lol but i don't think that would go doen to well with your oh !!
     
  13. NewToThis_x

    NewToThis_x Well-Known Member

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    Thanks for the reply hun made me giggle. I think i will go for the talk to her and explain way..rather than the f**k right off..as u say OH probly wont agree..and she's only trying to help i suppose lol x
     
  14. Cazza89

    Cazza89 Mummy of 1,expecting no.2

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    I think you should tell her you're keeping it and she probably wont keep going on. It's nice to know how supportive she is. My mum has bought quite a few things but me and oh are 20 and have brought everything ourselfs. Luckily i had money left from the horse i sold and he's got a very good job. It's not cheap though? Be greatful for what she's offering? At least you know you have a trusted babysitter and you can continue with your education or go and earn your own money?X
     
  15. lissaloo

    lissaloo Well-Known Member

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    your welcome i've been in your shoes it's so hard to bite your tongue !! good luck x
     
  16. MoonMuffin

    MoonMuffin Mom of 2!

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    Well the forcefulness of it may not have been the best way to go about it, but at least you have a lot of support from her. Its a big deal for her to buy all the clothes and watch the baby so you can continue with school or work. Even my own mother won't watch the baby very often (though she'll make me bring her over all the time). My MIL drives me nuts too, but she's just plain nasty all the time. The only good thing about her is her letting us stay in her house (though she only does it as a kind act so she can get into heaven-I've heard her say this-she's old and is such a nasty persons so she does everything she can to do "good deeds"). My mom really wanted to be in the room when I gave birth, but I said no, it was an experience just for me and my DH (though ended up with a c-section anyways), so it's up to you to control those things, you have to be a bit forceful with what you want.

    Good luck with everything! I'm sure she'll back off a bit once she sees the scan pics and such :hugs:
     

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