Boss Being Weird *Update Post 8*

[AngelBunny]

I told the sister on the ward that i was pregnant at 9 weeks in confidence so that i could be risk assessed as i was worried about a patient having radiotherapy on the ward. (the main ward manager was away on holiday for 3 weeks) she said she would also inform the other management. the next day the sister told one of the nurses i was pregnant. that person then told someone else, who then announced it to the entire staff in a meeting i was annoyed but im over it.

anyway around that same time i was supposed to be moving to a different ward in a different town for a couple of weeks to cover someone, and in the end i wasn't moved because i was pregnant, the sister found someone else to go and told me she would explain to the ward manager when she returned from holiday why i wasn't sent.

so ward manager comes back, and seems kind of off with me & looking at me funny. i know she knows im pregnant, the sisters would have told her at her back to work briefing and besides its now common knowledge. one of my friends said that they mentioned something about baby making me run for the loo in front of the manager and the manager tutted and sighed.. have i done something wrong? she hasn't mentioned it at all. am i supposed to go up to her and announce that im pregnant personally? which would seem awkward to me considering we both know that she knows and shes clearly annoyed with me about it for some reason?! im not understanding the problem here

sorry rant i know..

 

[seoj]

Personally, I would just go to her and say... "I'm sure you've already heard, but I wanted to tell you myself that I'm pregnant and very excited about it all."-- not sure if she is being funny because you didn't go to her personally, but she was out of the office? So that would make no sense... it's not like you have to hand write an announcement card to everyone you work with. haha.

Sorry she is being this way- but maybe if you just let her know you know by telling her... then she'll get over whatever weirdness she has going on??? Hope so!!!!

Best of luck hun

 

[Kimmi82]

Very strange......I would go up to her all smiles and ask her if she'd heard the good news and see how she responds then! Its horrible how many girls on here have aggro with work and managers over pregnancy my place couldnt be happier, everyone I did tell kept quiet till I was ready to announce it and theyve all been so supportive to me

 

[AngelBunny]

Personally, I would just go to her and say... "I'm sure you've already heard, but I wanted to tell you myself that I'm pregnant and very excited about it all."-- not sure if she is being funny because you didn't go to her personally, but she was out of the office? So that would make no sense... it's not like you have to hand write an announcement card to everyone you work with. haha.

Sorry she is being this way- but maybe if you just let her know you know by telling her... then she'll get over whatever weirdness she has going on??? Hope so!!!!

Best of luck hun

thanks. yeh, if she was there obviously she would have been the one i spoke to but she was away for 3 weeks, i was going to speak to her today even though i know she knows, but she was so off with me i put it off, im feeling kind of tearful today and i knew if she upset me i would burst into tears i just have a feeling that she's really annoyed with me for being pregnant as i've only been there 5-6 months

 

[Kimmi82]

Personally, I would just go to her and say... "I'm sure you've already heard, but I wanted to tell you myself that I'm pregnant and very excited about it all."-- not sure if she is being funny because you didn't go to her personally, but she was out of the office? So that would make no sense... it's not like you have to hand write an announcement card to everyone you work with. haha.

Sorry she is being this way- but maybe if you just let her know you know by telling her... then she'll get over whatever weirdness she has going on??? Hope so!!!!

Best of luck hun

thanks. yeh, if she was there obviously she would have been the one i spoke to but she was away for 3 weeks, i was going to speak to her today even though i know she knows, but she was so off with me i put it off, im feeling kind of tearful today and i knew if she upset me i would burst into tears i just have a feeling that she's really annoyed with me for being pregnant as i've only been there 5-6 months

Aw but thats not your problem hun, they have to deal with it, professionally I might add, and not act funny towards you! After all I'm sure they'd like you to come back after ML!

 

[AngelBunny]

Very strange......I would go up to her all smiles and ask her if she'd heard the good news and see how she responds then! Its horrible how many girls on here have aggro with work and managers over pregnancy my place couldnt be happier, everyone I did tell kept quiet till I was ready to announce it and theyve all been so supportive to me

thanks hun. i dont think she thinks it's good news i was going to speak to her today but im feeling kind of fragile & her weirdness totally threw me.

you're officially 12 weeks! whoop

 

[Kimmi82]

Very strange......I would go up to her all smiles and ask her if she'd heard the good news and see how she responds then! Its horrible how many girls on here have aggro with work and managers over pregnancy my place couldnt be happier, everyone I did tell kept quiet till I was ready to announce it and theyve all been so supportive to me

thanks hun. i dont think she thinks it's good news i was going to speak to her today but im feeling kind of fragile & her weirdness totally threw me.

you're officially 12 weeks! whoop

keep your head up and try and stay upbeat and itll be ok, speak to her when you feel ready

Lol i know 12 weeks again! I went from a plum, to a peach and then back to a lime!! Annoying!! ah well at least baby k is healthy!

 

[AngelBunny]

Im so annoyed!! i went to the ward manager and said 'im sure you already know but i wanted to tell you in person that im pregnant' she said 'yes i know ive just been messing with you'. she assumed that the baby was unplanned and repeatedly kept asking me if im happy and looking shocked when i said that i am. she made me feel slike she thought of me as a teenager that had accidently gotten pregnant.

she went on to tell me not to go round telling everyone. even though it was the sister that went and told people behind my back after id told her in confidence. she didnt believe this though and tried to tell me that it was my friend at work that told everyone. the sister told the ward manager this as well (even though the sister apologised to me personally for telling someone, who then told everyone else) besides, it is my baby and i will tell whoever i like!

she also said she doubts i'll get any financial help as 'i've only just started there' (ive been there 6 months). she then told me that she thinks me and my friends are 'children' (because one of my friends said something about baby squishing my bladder in front of her?!) and said 'im glad you're happy about it, but im not. congratulations'

i acted totally unphased by all of this and laughed it off. but its really upset me and im starting to dread going into work. it makes me feel sick this women just got the 'nurse of the year' award. she spends her entire life at the hospital and has no children of her own. i dont understand why she's being like this

 

[NandO1]

tough for her whether she is happy for you or not, its not her life and she had her chances and decided to spend her time working. are you at the local hosp as i worked there and you get some odd comments from people.

 

[madge]

Ignore her, she is obviously jealous. To be entitled to the full Nhs mat leave you have to have been in post 12 months by EDD, which if you have already been there 6 months you should just catch. It might be worth working it out exactly as you are going to be close, and you might be able to convince your midwife to 'alter' the dates slightly on your MATB form

 

[AngelBunny]

Ignore her, she is obviously jealous. To be entitled to the full Nhs mat leave you have to have been in post 12 months by EDD, which if you have already been there 6 months you should just catch. It might be worth working it out exactly as you are going to be close, and you might be able to convince your midwife to 'alter' the dates slightly on your MATB form

really? oo i didn't know this i was only expecting SMP anyway! i'll have to look into it. NandO1 yes it is the local hospital xx

 

[fezzin]

Hey,
I'm really sorry this is happening to you, but I just wanted to let you know you're not alone. I'm a nurse as well and literally had my first shift alone last week (I've been there for a few months now but since its a highly specialized area I've been on orientation). I have to tell my boss in the next little while and I already see that she's really not happy about accepting other people's good news.

Do you have a union that you can contact? Any kind of regulatory body? Because it sounds like what she is doing is almost bordering on abuse. I'd love to say I wouldn't take it and I would stand up for myself but these damn hormones are making me do nothing but cry and pout.

Good luck hun!

 

[AngelBunny]

Hey,
I'm really sorry this is happening to you, but I just wanted to let you know you're not alone. I'm a nurse as well and literally had my first shift alone last week (I've been there for a few months now but since its a highly specialized area I've been on orientation). I have to tell my boss in the next little while and I already see that she's really not happy about accepting other people's good news.

Do you have a union that you can contact? Any kind of regulatory body? Because it sounds like what she is doing is almost bordering on abuse. I'd love to say I wouldn't take it and I would stand up for myself but these damn hormones are making me do nothing but cry and pout.

Good luck hun!

thanks so much i hope your boss takes it ok. i really dont think its worth contacting anyone, especially since she is nurse of the year i'll see how it goes. im going to try & stay out of her way. but its horrid having some one be nasty about something you want so much & are so happy about

 

[Nat0619]

Angelbunny, what a pain to have work being like this with you I thought there were rules and that us pregnant ladies were very well protected legally nowadays, ie they can't treat you any differently and take anything away from you because you are pregnant. Even if you haven't been there long.

I work for the NHS too, as a Secretary, and am in a very similar situation in that I only started work there early November! I haven't told work yet, will not until after first scan when I know all is ok, but I am not looking forward to telling them I just know that, even if they don't show it to my face, I am sure they are not going to be very impressed as I haven't been there long.

You just carry on being happy about your hun, doesn't matter what they think. It's only a job at the end of the day and I am sure they will get over it as time goes on and, like a previous poster said, surely they want you to return after ML x

 

[lynnikins]

hun im sorry your boss is being funny about it, she might just be jealous caus she cant have her own kids and she resents pregnant women getting M/L and special risk assesments etc...

hope things pick up for you

 

[AngelBunny]

It's only a job at the end of the day and I am sure they will get over it as time goes on and, like a previous poster said, surely they want you to return after ML x

i hope so, i will only want to be going back part time 18 hours hopefully and i'll be wanting to finish at 2pm so i can get home for OH to go to work at 3pm.. not sure how helpful she will be i haven't discussed it with her yet. she's sorted out part time hours to suit other mums on the ward so im hoping it will be ok.. time will tell eh xx

 

[Catwiffy]

Wow, what a total cow!! Does she not understand that it's really of no concern whether or not she is happy about it?!
As long as you are happy, nothing else matters hun. Give her as wide a berth as you possibly can, and don't let her spoil this for you. She obviously has a massive case of green eyed monster syndrome!!!

Keep your chin up chick!!! You can always have a good rant on here

 

[madge]

The NHS mat leave pay once you have been there for 12 months is 8 weeks full pay, then 18 weeks half pay with sat mat pay (currently £124 per week), then you can take another 6 months at just sat mat pay if you want

 

[Kimmi82]

Oh no hun I'm sorry you didnt have any joy with her, thought I think 'joy' isnt a word in this ladies vocab!! Stay positive, she is just jealous, I'm sure there are plenty more people there happy for you than not!

 

[Chaos]

I'd go higher up and make a complaint about her..