Boy worry!

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - Second Trimester' started by LoobyBump, Dec 17, 2009.

  1. LoobyBump

    LoobyBump Expecting #3!

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    Hi all,

    I've got a bit of an issue on this subject. I really don't want to have a boy....now that sounds terrible, but i'm so scared i won't be happy if a boy pops out. I have 2 girls already and feel 'comfortable' with girls...boys just scare the hell out of me :blush:

    I'm going to find out this time(hopefully), as i feel the need for 20 weeks of 'getting used to the idea' time. I'm sure i'll come round if its a boy, but i need that time to get my head around the idea. I spent 9 months of worry last time round, and don't want to feel so selfish all through again.

    It is a real deep seated worry with me, its only my mum who knows and a close friend. My husband doesn't even know, as i'm scared he'll think i don't love a son if that what comes out.

    Sorry, this sounds really harsh and selfish, but its just how my head is working. I suffer from guilt about other mother's losing their much loved baby boys....they would love to have their son's in their arms.

    Has anyone else had this kind of worry? Am i a complete bitch? :cry:

    Looby x
     
  2. clogsy90

    clogsy90 mummy of 2 girls

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    aww bless you i can see where you're coming from i think girls are your comfort zoe and your just worried about the unexpected, i'm worried about if its a boy as my mum had 3 girls so couldn't really give me advice on a boy iykwim? but i'm sure if you do have a boy you will love him as much as your girls once you have adjusted to the idea :)
     
  3. catherineq87

    catherineq87 Well-Known Member

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    i felt the same way at the start of my preg so dont worry. i have a daughter and shes just perfect best behaved most fun etcetc lol
    but i have found out that i having a boy and must say i am actually over the moon loving buying all we boys clothes, he will such a cool dude lol! boys are apparently harder at first but easier later so that a we plus lol!
     
  4. emski803

    emski803 Expecting 1st baby

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    Peoples minds work in different ways, I wouldnt judge you for what youre thinking but I would maybe suggest going to see someone to find out exactly what it is that makes you so scared of having a boy as there is a very real chance that it could be a boy.

    Hope you get it sorted out x
     
  5. janet

    janet Well-Known Member

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    Awww i feel for you but really you have no need to worry about if you have a boy, im a very proud mummy to 4 boys and they are super lads, seriously they are very loving and affectionate and yes they are also boistrous, but girls can be equally so lol my boys seriously think of me so highly and are so protective its truely lovely to see/hear them :D im sure ive not hepled your fear but just wanted to point out my own personal opinions on how boys can be :) hopefully if you are told a boy at your 20 weeks scan you will have another 20 weeks to come to terms and bond with your son, Take care xx
     
  6. LoobyBump

    LoobyBump Expecting #3!

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    Thank you for not hating me! Girls are my comfort zone, never thought of it like that :dohh:

    My 2 are also well behaved (mostly!) and when i see little boys tearing around Asda i panic about how i'd cope with them (I have a disability too, which i think is adding fuel to the fire of worry).

    Roll on 25th January, then hopefully i'll know either way and deal with it.


    Thank you for being nice to me :flower: xxx
     
  7. xbabybumpx

    xbabybumpx Well-Known Member

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    hi hun. i always thought little girls were supposed to be better behaved then boys. but i have a neice and she is,and always has been such hard work! temper tantrums like you wouldint beleive,doesint do as shes told etc and shes only 2! now im expecting a girl and im now terrified little girls arent all sweetness and light at all lol! what im getting at is maybe if you have a boy he wont be like you expected him to be xox
     
  8. Mervs Mum

    Mervs Mum Doula & Mum of 3!

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    I think it's really brave of you to be so honest. I've got 2 girls and am expecting a boy. I've know for a month now and I am just about getting my head around it. I think a bit part is because I've got girls and like you, I know how they 'work'! :lol:

    When I was expecting my eldest I really wanted a girl . I didnt know what I was having an when she was born I remember thinking 'please dont let it be a boy....' What an awful thing to think on the happiest day of my life! That's why we decided to find out with the next two. I'm really glad we did. My hubby wanted a boy last time and obviously she was a girl. Knowing meant he got over the disappointment and was really excited to meet her and the birth was how it should be, without even a nano second of disappointment. he wanted another girl this time :dohh: and we've got a boy! I really didnt have any preference with this one but again finding out was the best thing to do. :)
     
  9. td1309

    td1309 Well-Known Member

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    I really sympathise with you on this. My family is full of girls and I really don't have any experience with baby boys. I always imagined myself having a girl but ever since I've been pregnant I just have a really strong sense it's a boy which really scared me at first. Like you, because of fear of the unknown.

    Then...I had a dream about having my baby boy, about looking at him, cuddling him and talking to him. Ever since that dream I am in love with the idea of having a boy! I think it's because I just couldn't 'picture' myself with a boy but now I have this mental image of me cuddling up with a beautiful boy I am really excited! As I'm sure you will be if you have a boy as soon as it becomes real. You have only known your love for baby girls so of course it's difficult for you to imagine otherwise but I bet if you have a boy you'll look back and wonder what all the fuss was about! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
     
  10. cindi

    cindi Mom of 4 girls

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    oh honey we need to be buddies! lol I feel the same way difference is yesterday we found out i was having a BOY! I have 4 daughters now and wanted another one. I don't know what to do with a boy! I'm f reaked out! Sounds silly I know cause he's healthy and things are going well but I'm really nervous! When she said boy I almost fell off the table! I have everything for girls but nothing for a boy as well even our carseat is pink! And then it's changing diapers different, hubby and i have different views on circumsicion and all othe things! I am just more comfy with girls but you know what? Over the past 24 hours i've become adjusted since the shock wore off. It's a boy, he's healthy and things will be fine. It may even be nice to have a boy instead of a girl and everyone in my entire family is so excited cause on my side there are no boys! my mom had 4 girls, my sister had a girl and i have 4 of them! so this is a big deal for us. but it doesn't make me less nervous about what to do when i have him lol
     
  11. mumof42be

    mumof42be Well-Known Member

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    I think most of your worry is you wont know what to do with a boy if you do have one....i went onto have my daughter after having 2 boys i was excited i was having a girl through the pregnancy but soon as she arrived that was it it felt like my first time over again i was worrying over any little thing pointing at things to midwife on her body saying "is that normal" lol

    But you will soon adjust to it and boys are lovely im having due a little boy this time round and im so excited and cant waitfor him to be here in my opinion i find boys are easier ....more laid back loving..where as my daughter as only just turned 2 and she is a HANDFULL she worse then my 5 and 6 year old boys .

    You will adjust to it dont worry :)
     
  12. Minstermind

    Minstermind Well-Known Member

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    I'm totally happy to have either a boy or girl and that's why I'm on team yellow. BUT, I do *get* what you are saying, as I have a 7 year old son and I feel that having a boy again this time would be comfortable for me as I ''know'' boys. On the flip side, though, having a girl would be nice as it would be like having one of both. So I'm happy either way but I do understand your feelings in general.

    I've heard the opposite about boys and girls - that boys are much easier than girls and that's why there's a small part of me a bit more nervous of having a girl should it turn out that way. So really, in the end, I think there is no truth to the statements about boys or girls being easier as I think it's very individual. Some parents would swear by one side or the other, but it's just their unique experience with their own families. Each family is different and some find boys easier, some find girls easier.

    So my point is, try not to let it worry you too much (as I try too) as you really don't know which way it would end for you if you had a boy. You might find it easier! Lol.. wish you the best and that you get the answer you want at your scan, but if not, it's good to find out in your case as you'll be able to sort through your feelings and eventually come to a place of acceptance and happiness about it (well, that's the idea anyhoo). :)
     
  13. Jadey121

    Jadey121 Mummy of 2. Expecting No3

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    Im the other way around i dont know what id do if i was to have a girl. I love my son to bits and im glad im having another boy. My son is such a mummies boy and he is so loving i wouldnt change him for the world! Im sure you would be fine if you had a little boy hun :)
     

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