Boyfriends reactions?

Discussion in 'Teen Pregnancy' started by smc17, Jan 25, 2011.

  1. smc17

    smc17 Well-Known Member

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    Hi im Sarah, Im 19 but I will be 20 in 3 months. and I'm 5 weeks pregnant
    My boyfriend is 22 and in the military we have been in a long distance relationship for the past year (except when he is home on leave), and is currently unreachable. I have left him messages to contact me as soon as he possibly can.

    Im not sure what his reaction will be, im kind of getting myself prepared for anything. I've had multiple dreams of different scenarios. Does any one have any advice or stories they would like to share?

    Also I will be telling my mother tomorrow. She has been out of town and its been killing me keeping this from her. Im probably going to ask to see her on her work break so then she has time to think about it while im at work and we can talk later that night... my father however is going to be a completely different story.

    Thanks! Sarah
     
  2. Yazz_n_bump

    Yazz_n_bump Me, Fiancé & Jack! :)

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    It really depends on what your boyfriend is like to be honest, none of us know you or him so we can't say he'll be upset or over the moon.
    When I told my OH he was VERY shocked to the say the least after loosing a baby 3 months before so for me to be preg so quickly was a massive shock, however he took it in his stride and is quite excited to be a daddy now.

    Just take it easy, maybe wait until he's home where it's a bit more relaxed?
    Good luck. :hugs:
     
  3. JWandBump

    JWandBump Well-Known Member

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    Even tho i knew deep down that i was pregnant (missing my period), i told my boyfriend i think i might be and that we should take a test together.. Thats what we did, and it was better because wew got to share the moment and we could talk about it face to face. Good luck :) xx
     
  4. amygwen

    amygwen Mom to Kenny & Gwendoline

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    My FOB (we were dating for three years prior to Kenny being born) was not happy but not surprised. He wanted me to terminate the pregnancy but I couldn't do it so we kept him and he absolutely loves him more than ANYTHING in the world now. He was there when I took the pregnancy test and saw it before I did. I cried my eyes out and he hugged me but he was just blah about it. Not excited, not happy but not nervous. He said the decision was left up to me and when he knew I was not going to terminate he started being more optimstic about it. Congrats on your pregnancy and good luck telling your mom and OH :hugs:
     
  5. Nervousmomtob

    Nervousmomtob Mommy to Riley <3

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    My OH was there when I took the (seven lol) tests also. I just gathered them all up and sat them in his lap =]
    He wasn't shocked and was quiet or a few minutes but then we started talking about how we'd do everything
     
  6. FayDanielle

    FayDanielle Mia's Mummy <3

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    Well my oh hated the idea!!
    We broke up because of it, he slept with other girls, but he was single, nothing i could do or say.
    He didnt want her, but now loves her more than anything, spoils her rotten, and were back together :)

    Good luck x
     
  7. krys

    krys Madi's Mommy

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    Personally, I think it just depends on your situation and relationship! My OH was with me when I took the first two tests, and we could see a faint line, I don't think that either of us actually believed it though. It wasn't until we got a digital test that said "PREGNANT" that it hit us. He just hugged me while I cried, and then we started talking about what we were going to do. He wasn't mad, just scared! Now he is soooo excited! I'm guessing that like ours, your pregnancy wasn't planned so he might be scared. Even if he is, I'm sure he'll come around.
    Good luck telling him and your mom, and congrats on the pregnancy!
     
  8. Burchy314

    Burchy314 Guest

    Well m and my OH tried to get pregnant but we didn't think it would happen so fast. So we waited the 2 weeks and then I had him buy me the tests. We went home and I took them ad we looked at them together. He was so excited he started crying it was cute. But yeah it all depends on your relationship.
     
  9. x__amour

    x__amour Mommy.

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    Fay... :hugs:

    OH was with me when we took the test and he was very excited.
     
  10. smc17

    smc17 Well-Known Member

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    Problem is.. he is in ranger school and in georgia (im in maryland), which means he is unreachable except for one day every 6 weeks or so.. so im kind of living on edge. immediately after he gets out of ranger school he is being deployed to afghanistan again.

    Im a strong person and can handle the distance and the time apart on normally even though it is really difficult. But the anticipation of it all is killing me. Our relationship is a strange one. When were in the same state its very serious and pretty much perfect, but when he is gone were faithful but its very laid back and not much is expected because he gets deployed. On average for 4-5 months at a time, so we usually send letter.

    We've known each other for 5 years and have been dating for 1. He loves his dad more than anything. So even if at first he is shocked or worried, I think him realizing how much he loves his dad and how he could have a relationship like that with our child.

    Im hoping writing letters to him while he's away and sending him pictures will really help. I've said since we started dating that he was the one and that I was going to marry him I really love him more than anything, and hopefully i do someday so that we can be a real family. Plus it would be much easier to be married than in a relationship because in the military they could care less that im his girlfriend.. but if your a wife thats a different story.
     
  11. brittanyland

    brittanyland Zoey's mom

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    I'm a little older, at 22, and married but I can still relate to your situation.

    My OH is also in the Army (and has been through RIP but not Ranger school :) ) and he is currently in Afghanistan. I found out I was pregnant 3 weeks after he deployed. We weren't trying so it was definitely a shock. I was terrified of telling him.

    Finally one day he happened to get a phone call home, maybe 3 days after I found out. I told him and he went silent. Then got so excited. Said it was the best news he could have gotten and the pregnancy and knowing he has a daughter to come home to has really helped him get through this deployment. It's been a tough one, he's lost several friends. So having his new baby to focus on has just done wonders for him.

    Now obviously my situation is a little bit different and I don't know your OH, but that is my experience. So maybe yours will be the same. My OH is also so close with his dad. :)

    Good luck to you!
     
  12. newmommy23

    newmommy23 Mommy to Mollymaia

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    well I was 19 when I got pregnant too, but I didn't find out until I was 19 weeks pregnant. We were both really in shock but now she means the world to him.
     
  13. smc17

    smc17 Well-Known Member

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    This is really what i needed to hear! My OH is really a great guy and really cares a lot about me. Even though our relationship wasn't planning on going down this road for a few more years, I really think it will be the best thing that will happen, and everything will be okay.

    I feel like a lot of people don't understand my desire to be married sooner than later. But when the OH is in the military it's really the best option for me, him and the baby. It makes us able to live together, be a family and I really do love him and was going to marry him eventually any way. Why not when he is back on base.

    Im kind of jumping the gun though, considering I haven't even talked to him about it. But I know him and eventually I think this will become the outcome, even if his initial reaction is one that I wont really like.
     
  14. brittanyland

    brittanyland Zoey's mom

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    Well in the military sometimes things have to happen at a faster pace than in the civilian world. We got married after OH graduated Basic training because it was the only way we could live together. People sometimes do not understand the way it works. But in the military a girlfriend just doesn't count, even if she is the mother of your child.

    I am betting after the initial shock, he will probably be thrilled. I really hope so anyways. So do you know when you will be able to talk to him?
     
  15. kimmy04

    kimmy04 Well-Known Member

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    Congrats! I was in a similar situation, I am 20 so just one year older than you, don't live close to my parents and my OH was working out of town about 17 hours away and didn't have cell service. Although we found out about the pregnancy the day before he left, we didn't know if we were going to keep the baby or not. He told his parents (who live in the same town as me) and I told mine over the phone. His parents were wonderful, soo excited and happy for us. Mine parents were devastated but my dad had also just left my mom that day (which I didn't know) and it was really bad timing. Now everyone has had time to adjust and my OH is back in town and we couldn't be more excited!! So I know its scary but everything will be fine once you are able to get the news out! I suggest talking to your parents and his parents if possible until you can get ahold of him!
     
  16. lizardbreath

    lizardbreath Guest

    I have never had to tell OH

    With Jaymee I took the test ,then went right out and passed it to him. He was the one who told me I was pregnant.
    and with this Bubs , the hospital told us at the sametime Came as a HUGE shock.
     
  17. tasha41

    tasha41 Mum & Dad + 1

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    I was 18 when I got pregnant, my boyfriend and I weren't really a serious couple by any means, love each other but were burned in our relationships just previous to our own so kind of guarded I guess. We were only "dating" 6 months, seeing each other 13 months ish at that point.

    My BF knew my period was late and was really the one worrying about it, so I said yeah I'll find out. I took a pregnancy test and was in disbelief, I was with my friend at her house and I didn't tell him.. I even called the number on the pack to see if it could be wrong. I did tell my best friends, and one offered to go up for an ultrasound with me to see how far along I was. He knew I was going so told me to call right away when I was done.

    So I phoned him and I said I was pregnant, he said are you serious, I said yes of course I'm serious! And he said okay, I love you, bye.

    He got home from work and called me right away, I went over and we talked a long time, I cried a bit but he was really supportive and comforted me.

    We didn't tell our parents for 4 weeks we were so scared! His parents were easy, he has cousins who've had the same/similar situations, they've seen it work out. Mine.. no one in my family has had a baby without being married! I told my mum when my dad was away for a couple of days, she told him when he came home while I was at work, so by the time I got in he had cooled down a bit, and of course he wanted to talk which was unbelievably awkward. We had several of those talks when I was pregnant.

    My boyfriend's mum called me a couple days later and told me if mine were taking it badly I could come stay and that they were going to be there for us, that they wanted me to come over and not worry about them being mad at me or anything.
     
  18. tasha41

    tasha41 Mum & Dad + 1

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    BTW if I was with someone in the military I'd definitely get married since it's the only way you can really live together as a family all the time. My OH is not though, and said we could get married when I was pregnant, I didn't want to get married "just because I was pregnant".. so I said no, we can do that later. Well now it's been 2.5 years since I found out I was pregnant, our daughter will be 2 in March and we still aren't seriously talking about marriage. It's something we'd like to do, but can't at the moment for financial reasons, we have a house- mortgage, renovations we want to do.. I'm in school, etc
     
  19. smc17

    smc17 Well-Known Member

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    i've really been trying to tell my mom, but i just can't get it out.. but my father is going to las vegas on the fourth for a few days. So i think im going to tell her then. Just because it seems so much easier and her and I can talk about it before my dad gets home.

    Its great that you and your boyfriend are still together and that he was so supportive!

    I really hope I have the same experience. Even though he wont be able to be here physically. Knowing that someone is emotionally there for you in this type of situation makes it so much easier.

    Honestly, marriage is mostly just documentation. People can love each other and be a family without being married. And clearly you all are a family and doing great. So what ever it takes for me to have that Im going to use all my will power to do so!
     
  20. young-mummy

    young-mummy Well-Known Member

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    my babys father also is in the Military/Army.. he will also be going to afgan this year..
    i was with my babys dad when i found out i was pregnant and i too am ok with distance as i dont see him very much.
    we broke up when i was 3-4 months pregnant because he turned into the typicall sqauddy and just want booze and girls and not to settle down.
    so now im not sure what will happen and i dont evan know if he will come home for the birth. so i guess it just depends on the situation...
    he also asked me to try get preg before i found out i was but i said no. he asked me to concider termination when i found out too ,

    i hope things work better for you hunn xxxx
     

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