Breast feeding Rant!

[Jary]

Ok so I'm sorry if this sounds like a whinge but I'm just so stressed today. We went out to a friends child's birthday party on the beach. I'd fed LO before we left and she seemed pretty content. When we got there she got hungry so I was able to feed her despite my discomfort of feeding in public because our friends had hired a beach hut and not many guests were about. About 2 hours later she got hungry again but also had a dirty nappy so I went off to change her with her screaming in the pram all the way to the baby change (it was a long way along the beach) after changing her I got OH to come along and take me back to the car so I could feed her there because by this point there were more people attending the party and lots of kids and I couldn't face trying to breastfeed in front of them. So we sat in the car and LO had a fairly good feed. Once she was done we got home and she seemed hungry again (after half an hour max) and fed for about half an hour.

We've just got to a friends house to hang out and they are outside at the moment so I can come inside to feed her, which I've just done but she still doesn't seem satisfied. OH has taken her away from me so I can calm down and now she's settled but I know in a little while she'll be crying for more again.

Another thing too, she keeps pulling off the breast then wanting straight back on frantically and then screams if she can't get it in an instant.

It just really makes me want to give her formula but I feel bad that I do want to put her on it. I've tried expressing milk to take with me but I have to add to it over a couple of days of I'm going to get enough to fill her. I get maybe 1oz combined from both breasts if I'm lucky.

Sorry about my rant I just needed to vent because its so frustrating that I can't get past feeding in public...like really get stressed and hot and bothered by it all.

My only option really then is to stay in the house all the time, which I don't really want to do!

Advice??

 

[fieryphoenix]

Have you tried a nursing cover? I've heard those help people feel more comfortable nip. Otherwise your lo is still very young and it will get better with time. She will get better at nursing and you will get less stressed

 

[Juniperjan]

Hi there, it takes a while to get used to nursing in public and I understand how you feel. She may be pulling away because she can sense your tension. I did feel nervous initially but then I thought, WTH, I am just feeding my daughter and anyone who takes issue with this has the problem and not me.

I just always make sure that what I'm wearing is appropriate because then I won't feel stressed trying to get my boob out. So I wear 2 tops and pull one down and one up so that I am not exposing myself. After a while you'll get used to it and it won't feel strange. TBH, I have never encountered any negativity.

I'm not saying that I've never felt stressed out even now but I think it's worth continuing if you are generally getting on well with it. Just think what an amazing thing you are doing for your daughter. That said, if you do decide that you don't want to carry on, then don't feel bad about that as you've given her an amazing start in life.

 

[staralfur]

3 weeks was a REALLY tough time for taking LO out and doing things. It's a major growth spurt so the feeding seems constant. You could try a nursing cover, or just plan to spend a few days cuddled up on the couch! It will pass soon.

 

[Dragonfly]

It wont be always like this though, at the start you will be feeding loads so its hard to fit anything else in around that. I go for vegging in house for a while till it passes, chill out and put your feet up if you can.

 

[Jary]

Thank you everyone. I know she's still young and still learning as much as I am about breastfeeding. It just does get so stressful when she cries even tho I've not long fed her and its not because of wind or dirty nappy (in fact I can hear when she poops and she's quite happy to sit in it!)

I do feel like there's a lot of pressure to breastfeed, which I feel is one of the reasons why I get stressed but then I sit and remind myself that its good for her and its good for me.

I think as well cause I was stuck in the house most of the time in the last few weeks of pregnancy that I feel a bit trapped and secluded so any opportunity to get out is amazing!

The nursing covers sound good but then once she's attached I use a muslin cloth over her and my boob so that's fine, it's the getting the boob out and getting her latched without giving people an eyeful!

*sigh* need to go, she's screaming again!

 

[cupcaker]

I switched to formula at 7 weeks due to many issues, but in short, the massively painful experience I found it to be solidly for those 7 weeks without any light at the end of the tunnel showing. I was upset and guilty for quite a bit at first.

I had a similar baby to you I think. The wanting it at times when you think "You can't possibly?" and fully sympathise with the faff of where to feed etc. I'm not particuarly shy but it WAS a hassle that I'd rather have done without. Plus it can be a very time consuming thing to do....half and hour feed here and there soon add up. For me, any "event" came with anxiety of how the hell I was going to get enough expressed milk to take with me (I never seemed to be able to create any sort of stash, everytime I expressed milk, regardless of what anyone says, I felt 'empty' and baby would freak out at the breast if I had expressed fairly recently like he couldn't get enough). When I had a belated baby shower at 6 weeks old, I think I had spent the entire week leading up to it faffing about just to make sure I had a couple of bottles of breastmilk adequate to feed him whilst I had all my guests. I hated it.

I absolutely respect all people who breast feed and want to. I wanted to. It is the best thing to do, no denying. But, I can't lie...now, I am so much more liberated with what I can do, where I can go, who can feed him etc. He switched over to formula just great (I did it gradually) and he is so much less fussy now and I can feel routines establishing. I enjoy being able to say a big fat "yes" to any spontanious trips out etc, rather than being filled with dread of where will I be able to feed and can I express enough milk into a bottle in time. If it comes to it, you haven't 'failed' by bringing in formula.

You could try combi feeding a little? You could still keep it heavily sided on breast feeding, but introduce a couple of premade liquid formula cartons for instance on a day out? Good luck with whatever you decide. xxx

 

[Dragonfly]

be aware if you combi feed it will effect your supply of breastmilk and your baby probably will go off breastfeeding.

 

[beth_terri]

Your baby is only 3 weeks old, your doing AMAZINGLY well to be feeding in public already! Its tough work! Keep at it though, and if it means staying in door more than going out for a few weeks while you get it to a T then I'd say try it. Just think how happy you'll be looking back at now that you did stick it out and worked through it. Also, my biggest regret was introducing formula. I now have a fully formula fed baby. Your doing a brilliant job.

 

[Tryandwish]

I know exactly how it feels when LO seems to just keep feeding ALL day! My LO is 3 days younger than yours and I've had him stuck to me all day!! Had a brief break when we did some shopping as he always sleeps in his car seat but soon as we were home he was screaming for more boob. Managed to get him down for 2 hours earlier and I slept with him so that made me feel better.

My LO also seems happy to sit in his dirty nappies too.

As for feeding in public, have you seen these?
https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=u...g&biw=1066&bih=516&sei=Il6qUduPH4X30gWQ4oGoDg
They have a rigid neck line so you can still have eye contact with LO and also seem big enough to put on first, then faff with layers of clothing to expose boob then bring LO in under the cover so you shouldn't feel so exposed to everyone.

I have had a few thoughts about formula feeding but I'm not giving up. I know that I personally would be disappointed at myself if I gave up as the breast feeding is going well, it's just I feel I need a break as I'm only one who can feed and DH sleeps through all the night cries, changes and feeds and I end up so tired. Day time naps are my saviour right now.

Good luck in what ever you choose

 

[Sproglet]

You're doing really well to be out and about feeding at 3 weeks! I didn't risk that till 4 weeks.... And that was at a bf support group. Probably more like 8 weeks before I nursed in front of someone that wasn't OH or my mum!

It WILL get easier. Firstly, she's probably in the middle of a growth spurt. Secondly, you've only been practicing 3 weeks. Would you expect to pass a driving test or an exam with only 3 weeks practice? By 3 months it'll be as easy as popping a boob out and shoving LO in the general direction!

 

[Jary]

Thank you all for the support! We do have good days and usually she's a good baby so I do think we are lucky. Maybe you guys are right and she's having a growth spurt. I know her last one had me demented because she was cluster feeding at night.

I like to take each day as it comes so at the end of every day I think 'that's another day of breastfeeding!'

It still makes it hard tho when I can't seem to make my own baby happy.

Someone mentioned their LO sleeping in his car seat...yeah Alice loves her car seat once the car is moving and when we are walking about with it in the frame, but doesn't like her pram part much which is much better for her in the long run! But then if we stop she knows and wakes up for a feed lol.

I'm going to keep going with the breastfeeding and hope I start to enjoy it more. Glad I have you guys to help keep me sane!

 

[mathgenius33]

Hi Jary, I totally know how you feel. Yesterday my baby wanted to eat all day long. I hardly got a break. Even when I left her with her grandma and went swimming, I thought I was really smart because I had fed her before leaving. I was only gone for 2 hours and when I got back my mother-in-law said she drank all the milk I left from pumping, and then she needed me right away as soon as I got home to eat more. It's still so hard to time things right.

I still haven't had the courage to feed her in public yet, but as they said I just bought one of those covers so I can give it a try soon. I think my daughter is a week older than yours if I remember correctly. She's 4 weeks tomorrow (Sunday).

 

[Casey3]

You're doing great! At 3 weeks I rarely left the house haha. There is a HUGE growth spurt at 3 weeks.. I remember I had LO attached to me for 14 hours straight when he was 19 days old, it was SO tough but it's important for you're supply as he's just boosting it for the future! Try to get comfortable feeding in public if you want to go out for long periods of time.. at that age, you should be feeding at the first hint of hunger (lip smacking, rooting etc.) which could be every 20 minutes so it's not something that can be timed and organized unfortunately. You're doing amazing though, BFing is tough in the beginning but once you and LO learn the ropes it gets so much easier and it's SOOO worth it!!

PS. I was shy in the beginning too, always trying to cover the boob but you get used to it.. today I had LO in a simple rebozo using a wrap and I BFed him while I walked through IKEA with my boob pulled over my shirt lol I (he was grumpy and just wanted to comfort suck).

 

[Jary]

I felt smart too math...thought cause I'd fed her before we left for the party that she'd be out for at least 3 hours as she normally does during the day.

She's defo trying to increase my supply! I know I have lots of milk so its frustrating that I can't pump much out!

She slept quite long last night before her first night feed...went down at 9:30 then slept until 01:45 so that was good but woke every 2 hour after that. And now she's crying everyone we put her down! I think it might be a similar day to yesterday but ill just try feeding her as much as possible. The only thing is she feeds then comes off so looks like she's finished and I try her again and she refuses, so I burp her and try to put her down or even if she's still in my arms starts crying again and the only thing that will settle her is more boob! And sometimes she doesn't even go back on for long. So it's like fighting a losing battle! Lol. Just gotta keep battling it!

 

[Button#]

I personally found pumping stressful so gave up on it pretty quickly. Have you tried practicing latching on in front of a mirror, I think you'll be surprised how little is on show when you breastfeed. You're looking straight down and all your focus is on your nipple but to the rest of the world there's just a baby and a mum, if they notice you at all (most people go about their daily business not even seeing most of the people they pass). Hopefully it won't be long before you can just say sod it and get a boob out without worrying about it.

I'm really pleased I breastfed (and still do). I don't have to think about how many feeds he'll need when he's out and if another mum invited me to go for lunch or a coffee after play group I could say yes without a second thought and I had a large group of mum friends as a result.

 

[Casey3]

Have you thought about babywearing? It takes a bit of practice to feed in a sling/wrap (especially when you're still learning to BF!) but once you get the hang of it it's awesome It also makes everything easier as you're able to do things around the house (like make yourself a sandwich or pee! haha) or go to functions like the bday party and still be part of the action while discretely feeding It's also great for when baby doesn't want to be put down, my guy had most of his naps while being worn once we learned about it since he was never a i-can-nap-on-my-own baby!

 

[Jary]

I've had OH use the pump on me this morning and got better results than when I do it! Still not loads but more than before. He actually enjoyed it :/

I will try the mirror, thanks!...I've been thinking of practicing discreet BFing in the house so I can do it better when out in public.

LO finally seems happy after a feed today! Glad she's fallen asleep even after I've changed her nappy, tho she has just pooped again and I've literally just changed her! Typical lol

 

[Jary]

Casey I will look into baby wearing. I have seen some nursing slings but they always seemed a bit OTT to me (as in they are massive). But then that's just one type so I'm sure there are different ones.

 

[babymumm]

hun it sounda lije growth spurt baby is upping yr milk so u have enough they r tough my lo never stops but it is worth it wen u c them grow the next day n thats bcos of u..jus feed n demand and sit ya bum down eat n drink loads..trust im new to it too jus search net how bd n cluster feeds work..ita reallt very clever n give you a boost in knowin y she fusses etc..ira not personal they just need it to grow xx gud luck n wll done..ebf 7wks to my lo..am proud n u shuld b 2