Breastfeeding Vent

[PixieKitty]

I had such a hard time trying to get him to take the breast, they gave him bottles in SCBU and he just wouldn't latch, so I pumped for 2 weeks then gave up... in a way it helped 'cause like you say, I can now have a night to myself without having to express... but at the same time I'm gutted he's on formula instead of my milk. Sorry I can't be much help, but try and keep at it, even just for another week or so, if it's still hard then there's no shame in switching and you've given him so much already. You've tried, that's all anyone could ask of you hun

 

[Sweetpea7830]

I had such a hard time trying to get him to take the breast, they gave him bottles in SCBU and he just wouldn't latch, so I pumped for 2 weeks then gave up... in a way it helped 'cause like you say, I can now have a night to myself without having to express... but at the same time I'm gutted he's on formula instead of my milk. Sorry I can't be much help, but try and keep at it, even just for another week or so, if it's still hard then there's no shame in switching and you've given him so much already. You've tried, that's all anyone could ask of you hun

Thank you!!! It sounds like how I have been feeling and what I have been going through...

What is SCBU??

 

[Sweetpea7830]

Thanks, MM for all your help! I appreciate the tips.

For those who are wondering, I went on a "bottle strike" with my little one a few days ago - trying to encourage him to get all he needs from a nursing session and not a bottle.

The problem I was having: My smartie pants little one realized the bottle was much easier...so he would eat just enough to knock the hunger edge off, and then commence to screaming and wait me out for the bottle of EBM - it led to engorgement for me and much crankiness between us both to where he was screaming for food, I was screaming to pump off the engorgement, and both of us were miserable.

While things are not 100% perfect and I still don't know how long I will breastfeed (we are still sorting it all out, he and I), it has greatly improved breastfeeding for me. We are more relaxed now. My husband gave him his first bottle this morning while I was away for an appointment and it went well - but he downed a ton and then napped for two hours! Not his usual nap...

I posted this in another thread, but this is the part that confuses me...for the past few days I wouldn't have though my little one was still hungry, but just yesterday he started not settling with me at all. I can't tell if it's just the smell of milk or if he's still hungry??

He is sucking his hands like crazy but then again he's just started that and lots of drooling in the past 3 weeks - I think that's a developmental stage? I used to be able to tell he was hungry because he would smack his lips and suck his fingers. Now he's all the time sucking his fist - loudly at times! Any thoughts?? I almost thought he was teething but I think he's way too young...? I just don't want him to go hungry but at the same time I do not want him to keep attaching to the breast if he's just restless. I'm having trouble sorting that part out.

Well....another update...here we are after hubby gave him the bottle this morning while I was away (I work part time and had to go in)...he sucked down 5 1/2 ounces (2 oz more than his normal) and napped for two hours...which he never does. I get home and have been trying to breastfeed...and he did ok, but now he is screaming and screaming and screaming and won't settle. He won't take the paci or the breast....and I have hubby walking the floor with him but he just yelled to me that we have to give him a *^&% bottle already... so we might be back to square one.

 

[Mervs Mum]

SCBU is Special Care Baby Unit - I think you call it NICU?

Thanks for the update - after talking on MSN these past couple of days it was so nice to hear you feeling more positive and I'm glad you had a second to share it.

 

[Sweetpea7830]

SCBU is Special Care Baby Unit - I think you call it NICU?

Thanks for the update - after talking on MSN these past couple of days it was so nice to hear you feeling more positive and I'm glad you had a second to share it.

Thank you...I do appreciate all the advice and tips you have provided. I just don't know how to get the little bugger to suck longer. I still have milk in my breasts when he pops off, but he just won't keep at it...and tonight's screaming episode has set us back I feel...my hubby feels that he's "just one of those babies that won't ever fully breastfeed" because of his NICU experience...

I'm feeling quite down about it tonight...and I'm exhausted. The last 4-5 days have been really exhausting...and I'm just struggling again!! Boy, who knew this would be such a roller coaster?

 

[Mervs Mum]

I know it's tough but cant you get hubby to take him for you?? So he doesnt smell you?? I think that if you're hubby doesnt believe in you then you are going to find it difficult. I'm not critcising - it must be so difficult for him to see you both frustrated. Support is so important and although I'm sure he's being supported, you really dont need anyone sewing any seed of doubt.

You need to do what's right for all of you. I hope you can find a way though and in the meantime, feel free to vent when you like!
x

 

[nataliecn]

Awwe hun!
I really hope you and your little man are getting the hang of things. I know it's tough, me and Grady had a few rough days, nothing like you seem to be experiencing.
But my hat is off to you for sticking with it and not giving up! I had to give up, but I know if I struggled like this, I wouldn't have been able to do it.
As all the girls have said, in the end if you do need to go to formula, don't feel bad about it. He's gotten lots of boobie milk so far, and he will be a happy baby so long as he's fed.
Do what's best for you!

 

[ryder]

To be honest, I think the only way your going to be able to get him to bf properly is if you cut the bottles completely... Which would be very hard and very frustrating.

I do no agree at all that all babies prefer breast over bottle... As a newborn, babies prefer whatever method is going to fullfill their need, which is mainly hunger, feeling dry, and secure and warm... They dont really care if it comes from the boob or a bottle. Babies do develope a security in what is normall, IE: a baby is BF totally from the beginning, it will usually prefer the breast... if it is given alternative methods, they will usually prefer a bottle because it is easier.

You are a great mom no matter what. As long as your baby is fed, happy and loved thats all that matters... Unfortunatly, in a situation like yours, 100% support from your OH is definately needed... Its hard to push through when you have negativity from your main source of support.

 

[Sweetpea7830]

You might be right...the problem is I can't cut the bottles completely. At some point I have to go to work, and at some point I have to have a break. He's 18 weeks old and (over 4 months) and so it's been a long road.

 

[Sweetpea7830]

Awwe hun!
I really hope you and your little man are getting the hang of things. I know it's tough, me and Grady had a few rough days, nothing like you seem to be experiencing.
But my hat is off to you for sticking with it and not giving up! I had to give up, but I know if I struggled like this, I wouldn't have been able to do it.
As all the girls have said, in the end if you do need to go to formula, don't feel bad about it. He's gotten lots of boobie milk so far, and he will be a happy baby so long as he's fed.
Do what's best for you!

Thank you! I didn't realize you moved to formula...how is Grady doing? He looks fabulous in all the photos I see!!

 

[Sweetpea7830]

I know it's tough but cant you get hubby to take him for you?? So he doesnt smell you?? I think that if you're hubby doesnt believe in you then you are going to find it difficult. I'm not critcising - it must be so difficult for him to see you both frustrated. Support is so important and although I'm sure he's being supported, you really dont need anyone sewing any seed of doubt.

You need to do what's right for all of you. I hope you can find a way though and in the meantime, feel free to vent when you like!
x

He does and he still screams and screams...I have had my husband be the one to give the bottles but he just isn't able to get the milk out. I think he did ok the first couple of days because he wasn't quite full but was dealing with it. Now he's starving it seems all the time. I can actually hear the belly rumbling! My breasts are full but he can't seem to get much out past the initial amount. I have to almost be engorged for him to feed for a while, and even then he pops off when I'm still quite full but he can't seem to get any out (he is working, it's just not coming).

 

[Mervs Mum]

Maybe try putting a really warm - almost hot - face cloth on your boobs before you start? That should encourage the let down. Or hand express a little first.

Dont be too tough on yourself Lisa - you are doing an amazing job x