My husband and I are having identical twins but we don't know what the gender will be yet. He just announced that he wants a Jr if they're boys, and I think it is incredibly unfair to name 1 TWIN Jr and one not. I think it's setting them up for resentment and competition and favoritism. On the other hand I don't want to shoot down my husband's dreams and fight with him for months. Am I going to scar my kids for life if one is a Jr?
Can 1 Identical twin be a Jr?!
- Thread starter MrsE33
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Ask him how he'd feel about you naming one of them (if they were girls) completely after you, so she would be a female junior. I'm guessing he would laugh.
I personally don't like the idea of juniors, I find them sexist. My ex wanted to name our baby after him if it was a boy, but luckily we had a girl. Even if it had been a boy, I never would have budged. A middle name after family is fine, or even a first name after a more distant relative. But I could never do the junior thing, personally.
I don't think you should have to give up on your opinion just to avoid fighting with him - he needs to be able to compromise too. Your opinion counts just as much and after all YOU are the one sacrificing your body to give birth to these two babies. I also agree with you that it might be confusing/complicated for your kids if one of them has his name and the other doesn't. Even if they are opposite genders, the girl might wonder why she isn't named after you? Stick to your guns, that's my opinion.
I personally don't like the idea of juniors, I find them sexist. My ex wanted to name our baby after him if it was a boy, but luckily we had a girl. Even if it had been a boy, I never would have budged. A middle name after family is fine, or even a first name after a more distant relative. But I could never do the junior thing, personally.
I don't think you should have to give up on your opinion just to avoid fighting with him - he needs to be able to compromise too. Your opinion counts just as much and after all YOU are the one sacrificing your body to give birth to these two babies. I also agree with you that it might be confusing/complicated for your kids if one of them has his name and the other doesn't. Even if they are opposite genders, the girl might wonder why she isn't named after you? Stick to your guns, that's my opinion.
wannabemomy37
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Why not compromise by naming them both after your OH? Let them both have the same middle name (same as OHs?) or something otherwise symbolic, but I'd make sure they BOTH have that special connection.
I'm also not a fan of juniors, but do understand why others like them. I just think since your situation is different you're both going to need to alter your beliefs to allow them BOTH to feel equal.
Example: If OH is named Owen Michael, the twins can be Kyle Owen and Matthew Owen, or Kyle Michael and Matthew Owen, etc. So that they both have an equal part of OH's name, if any at all.
I'd say in this situation either name them BOTH after OH or none at all.
Hope this helps, and I didn't mean any offence, just my thoughts!
I'm also not a fan of juniors, but do understand why others like them. I just think since your situation is different you're both going to need to alter your beliefs to allow them BOTH to feel equal.
Example: If OH is named Owen Michael, the twins can be Kyle Owen and Matthew Owen, or Kyle Michael and Matthew Owen, etc. So that they both have an equal part of OH's name, if any at all.
I'd say in this situation either name them BOTH after OH or none at all.
Hope this helps, and I didn't mean any offence, just my thoughts!
Noodlebear
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Putting aside the fact that I really dislike the whole 'Jr' thing I don't think it'd be fair to name one son after his dad and not the other. I'd argue this with my OH til I was blue in the face 
it's about the children, not him. Perhaps you could agree that if you only have one boy that he can be 'Jr' although I agree with the pp (especially as they're twins) that might still cause some sort of resentment.
it's about the children, not him. Perhaps you could agree that if you only have one boy that he can be 'Jr' although I agree with the pp (especially as they're twins) that might still cause some sort of resentment.
mazndave
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I agree that with twins it'd be unfair for one of them to be named after his dad and not the other. I'm not a fan of Jr names in general as I prefer a child to have their own identity and I don't really think giving them the same first name as their dad does this, but when there are 2 children involved I'd say it's a definite no-no.
I agree with what you said about it possibly leading to resentment and implied favouritism. How do you choose which one gets the 'privilege' of being the namesake, does it make that baby seem more important than the other etc. The other child may grow up wondering why they weren't good enough to be named after their dad, and is their brother the favourite.
I like the suggestion of them both taking his name as a middle name - I think that your husband should see this as a fair compromise.
Good luck with getting him to come around to your way of thinking, and if you can't, hopefully you'll get girls!
I agree with what you said about it possibly leading to resentment and implied favouritism. How do you choose which one gets the 'privilege' of being the namesake, does it make that baby seem more important than the other etc. The other child may grow up wondering why they weren't good enough to be named after their dad, and is their brother the favourite.
I like the suggestion of them both taking his name as a middle name - I think that your husband should see this as a fair compromise.
Good luck with getting him to come around to your way of thinking, and if you can't, hopefully you'll get girls!
Thanks everyone! I also would rather have them use his names as a middle name, but he doesn't like it. At this point, I'm just hoping for girls so we can avoid this dispute. They're identical so whatever gender they are, we're getting two. No boy/girl option. I'll report back as we get further along!
I'm not a fan of the whole junior thing either and think it would be unfair to do it with twins, how would you pick? The first out? Would this always put them "ahead" you know? We used hubby's name as our eldest's middle name, although that was me choosing to do so, I think my hubby was a bit embarrassed that people would think he wanted to as he's quite a modest person. I'm with you on this one
bumblebeexo
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No I think it would be unfair!
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I once dated a twin who's brother was jn, it always felt like jn was the favorite and like my bf the other was just that, the other...
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I once dated a twin who's brother was jn, it always felt like jn was the favorite and like my the other was just that, the other...
chelsealynnb
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I agree with the other posters, I think it is unfair to the non junior twin. My 8 year old is a junior and sometimes my 4 year old asks me why he doesn't have his dad's name, too. Makes me feel bad 
Maybe if you think it's a good idea, ask your DH if he would be okay with his first name as their middle names? (If he has a name that would even sound good as a middle name, I guess). Just an idea. My best friend named her sons after their dad by putting his first name as their middle, and his name is Justin. Good luck!
Maybe if you think it's a good idea, ask your DH if he would be okay with his first name as their middle names? (If he has a name that would even sound good as a middle name, I guess). Just an idea. My best friend named her sons after their dad by putting his first name as their middle, and his name is Justin. Good luck!
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I feel like it would be unfair on the twin that wasn't named jnr and it would feel like favouritism.
ChristiansMum
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Personal I don't really like jrs but I can see why some do it.
Both my children have family names. My son is Christian Daniel Edward (my dad is Chris, my DHs first name is Daniel and Edward is the name all 1st born sons have in DHs family) my DD is Isabel Holly Louise (Isabelle was DHs grandma, Holly is my SIL who nearly shared her birthday with DD and Louise is my aunty that can't have children)
This time we will be calling baby Alfie Raymond David (Alfie is my grandads nickname when he was still working, Raymond is my FIL and David is the family name passed down on my side of the family) x
Both my children have family names. My son is Christian Daniel Edward (my dad is Chris, my DHs first name is Daniel and Edward is the name all 1st born sons have in DHs family) my DD is Isabel Holly Louise (Isabelle was DHs grandma, Holly is my SIL who nearly shared her birthday with DD and Louise is my aunty that can't have children)
This time we will be calling baby Alfie Raymond David (Alfie is my grandads nickname when he was still working, Raymond is my FIL and David is the family name passed down on my side of the family) x
