Can any LTTTC #1ers offer me advice on ttc #2 please?

[Bumblebeee]

My daughter is 7 months old and although she was well worth the wait, it took my partner and I 3 years to conceive her (no pregnancies until my daughter). We would like to have another child fairly close in age and I have said that I will see where my head is at after Christmas because my daughter will be around 14months old and hopefully I will be mentally ready after a tough birth (posterior, stuck in birth canal). However, I am afraid that it will take a long time to conceive again and I will end up with a much bigger age gap between my children. I have two options: 1. Start TTC sooner just incase it takes a long time again, but then if I conceive straight away I am so not ready for another yet. 2. Hold off on the TTC until after Christmas as planned and add another 6 months to the age gap, and that'll be without the length of time it'll take to conceive. I am so stuck with what to do, I understand nobody can make the decision for me (as fab as that would be!! ) but any advice anyone can offer me will be much appreciated. Thank you

 

[jd83]

I didn't have a long term TTC, probably less than a year for our 1st pregancy. That one ended in a m/c, but we were able to get pregnant again pretty quickly as soon as we started trying again. When we tried for DS2, we got pregnant again very quickly, but ended in m/c again. Then again, as soon as we started trying, got pregnant with DS2.

I was talking to midwife about how quickly we have gotten pregnant wince the 1st time, which seemed like it took a lot longer, and she said that once your body has been pregnant, it knows better how to be pregnant, and will get pregnant much easier. I know this won't be true for everyone, but just wanted to offer encouragement that I think you'll find the next one much easier to conceive

 

[SmileyKez]

I am kinda in the same situation! It took us 4 years to get pregnant, and I am now nearly 34, I always planned on having 2 or 3 kids and never dreamed it would take me so long.

I still want another but my LO is only 5 months, and I am nowhere near ready for another yet, similar to you, as much as I loved being pg, I hated labour, baby got stuck, and my calm hypnobirth turned into a rush to theatre for forceps delivery. I have also struggled with anxiety and low mood since I had him.

I really am torn, I can't imagine not bring pg again and him not having a sibling, I also really want a daughter, but I am on borrowed time, and if it takes longer than a year, I feel I'd be too old.

I not too bothered about age gaps, as I know lots of people with 4/5 years between their kids and its great, I wouldn't think too much about that, in my opinion, better to be ready for another and have a longer age gap than do it before you are prepared! Your lo's will love their siblings regardless! There is 4 yrs between me and my sis and we've always been best friends!

 

[Banshee]

I wasn't a very long time trying to conceive ds1 but it was over a year and I was temperature checking and using ovulation predictor kits etc. Ds2 was a happy accident - one time without protection with no idea when ovulating and I was pregnant again when ds1 was 9 months old. For me, although it was sooner than we had intended (I'd had a terrible emergency c section under general anaesthetic with ds1) it was a relief not to have to go through the heart ache of trying to conceive for over a year.

 

[AngelUK]

I wish I could be trying for another but sadly I think we are done. We tried for 3 1/2 years till we finally got lucky on our third IUI round. But what I wanted to say is that it isn't as if you need a run up and warm up before you get pregnant if you know what I mean. Unless you meant to say, stopping to take the pill? Otherwise don't bother start before you are ready. But as far as I know and have been told you are more fertile in the first year after giving birth so maybe your chances of conceiving in the next few months are higher. Good luck!

 

[Rickles]

Anecdotally I have heard most mum's say it was quicker second time around... However a good friend of mine had her first no problem and is still trying for number 2 after 4.5 years (They started trying when DD turned 1). For this reason my OH and I have agreed to start trying in Aug (as Maddie turns 1)... He's 41 and doesn't want to be an old Dad. But I had a very traumatic birth - forceps delivery on only gas and air and to be honest am only starting to feel ready now but I was definitely not ready in Jan /Feb when OH was!!

I've gone with we'll start from the point I don't feel like it would give me a heart attack to be pregnant again, but at the same time so I won't regret not trying earlier... I know I would not have handled it well up until the last month or so...

We're all different xx

 

[minties]

I don't have any advice, but I think having my son helped my fertility out. It took 8 years to get him! I went off the minipill when he was 13 months and got pregnant with Sophie the first time we had sex after that. It was a shock, I was expecting it to take years.

 

[jenniferttc1]

My son took 19 cycles, and this baby we conceived on the second.

 

[AngelUK]

Ooh jenniferttc1 massive congrats on your pregnancy! We were in on the tri boards together last time round and I remember you from early on

 

[josephine3]

Im wondering this too as it took us 2 yrs to concieve. Its so hard to kno when to start trying as who knows how long it will take. Im also worried about having them close together as if we have 2 or 3 babies, there'll be no more pregnancies to look forward to when they're all here!
Like others i am only just starting to feel emotionally ready again after a traumatic birth. Any sooner than this i dont think i could have handled it! Think id still be pretty terrified tho.

 

[Care76]

Good luck on your decision! I have also heard you may get pregnant faster with your second.

We are in the same position. We tried for a very long time though, 12.5years and I am 37, so we definitely want to try soon. Our dilemma is I don't want to stop BF and I don't yet have a cycle. Our miracle baby is 7 months and I want to BF until he is a year. But then I hear it is easier to conceive within the first year after having your first so I am so torn.

 

[wifey29]

We ended up with IVF/ICSI for very severe male factor infertility after LTTTC for far too long. We figured it would take ICSI again, but just incase we thought we'd ttc as soon as possible. The month before we decided to start I fell pregnant completely naturally and as a total shock! Unfortunately we lost the baby at six weeks, but it proved that it is very possible, so we are ttc again now, keeping it all relaxed, while we wait for our frozen embryo transfer early next year. We can't even say that pregnancy sorted our fertility out because as far as I'm aware what happens in my body can't affect DH's swimmers lol!

 

[GracieGoo]

It took us just under 3 years to conceive our beautiful boy - it felt like forever, although I know a lot of people have to wait even longer.

So after the birth of our son, we decided to ntnp. I had a good birth with him, and honestly didnt think a pregnancy would come along all too soon (although I didnt bf). Our daughter arrived just a week after our sons first birthday. Mentally was I ready?! Who knows, pregnancy was tough and I was scared. But truthfully life couldnt have worked out better for us now, I feel completely blessed.

Just good luck, I like to believe that for us once my body had done it once, t just knew the next time (I am actually scared I will get pregnant again even though we use contraception - completely different feelings from all those months of crying over sad BFN)

xx

 

[dinosaur2010]

I was 2.5years ttc my LO and haven't used contraception since birth- although didn't start regular sex till about 6 or 7 months lol! My AF came back at 6 months so we are ttc again
Hope #2 doesn't take as long!!

 

[kirst76]

DD#3 took us 2.5 years with a loss before her. We decided to start TTC again when she was 11 months, mainly because of the time it took to conceive and it took 9 months, so not too long.
You have to do what you feel right with and as everybody kept saying "it'll happen when the time is right"
Maybe you could begin by NTNP??

Good luck with whatever you decide!

 

[amotherslove]

I haven't been in your shoes but I wanted to comment. Disregard my comment if it's not helpful.

If you're not ready, I wouldn't bother yet. While it make take a long time, it's not as if there's a certain number of cycles you MUST try for before you conceive. It's really a matter of luck, as annoying as that is... I would start ttc when you are ready. Starting later won't make it HAPPEN later. Unless of course you're taking a fertility drug that works better over time.

Whatever your choice, I hope it turns out exactly as you want it

 

[dlj2]

Took us 4 agonising years ttc my daughter, we plan to try in the new year when she's 1.5 years. I needed the extra time to feel mentally and physically ready, plus I don't do pregnancy that well so didn't want Amelia missing out on any if my time or attention. Have heard second time round is often quicker.x