can i have a vent? Im really quite upset. Maybe being over sensitive?

[lilwelsh1]

when my LO was born a bounty photographer came round and took photo's. Im sure most of u have had these done anyway and know what i'm on about.

I bought the ones of my first 2 children and intended to buy the ones i had done of Lydia-Mae next week.

My sister wanted to preview them and as my laptop was having a funny 5 mins i text her my code and password so she could view them at home. I regret that now as her interfering other half went and ordered them for me!!! The worst part was he had no intentions of telling me so i'd have a 'surprise' in the post! I dont mean to sound ungrateful but these are MY photo's of MY baby and i wanted to order them myself in my own time he paid for them but i will be giving him the money back but its not the same! I feel so put out and him n my sister cant understand y. I just feel they jumped in and took over. There was also a choice of 4 different poses, i didnt mention which one was the one i wanted so now i'll have HIS choice. Im just so gutted i was looking forwars to buying them. Am i being ungrateful? Would any of u feel upset if your future BIL did this? Like an idiot im sat her crying over this. Maybe its just hormones or something? I mean i did have a baby 12 days ago lol.

 

[KatelynsMummy]

Maybe you could order a different one? It seems like he was just trying to do, what he though, was the right thing. I actually think its rather sweet of him, but guys dont think that little things would upset us.

 

[MrsH1980]

Oh Hun, I don't know your BIL but maybe he was just trying to do something special/nice for you?

 

[tina_h75]

if he ordered them as a gift then I would say that was him being quite thoughtful but I don't get why he would do it if you had to pay him back the money ? Nothing has been achieved except him making your decision for you.

 

[Lauz85]

Personally i think he was just tryin to do a nice thing for u and didn't want to upset u. I would apologise and if u don't get the pic u wanted maybe u could order the one u wanted yourself.

 

[Lellow]

Oh dear - I do think his intentions were good though, he was probably thinking he was being nice.
It was sweet of him to do that and if it isnt the choice you wanted, then go ahead and order the one you want instead.

 

[BabyJayne]

I think your hormones must be going crazy, because that is quite simply a lovely thing for him to do.

He may have thought you had so much on with having a new baby at home that you might forget to order them etc - and then you would get a lovely surprise in the post.

You've only missed out on going through an Internet page, clicking on the picture and paying for it. Instead you got to spend the time you would have been doing that with your new baby. Now that can't be bad

 

[wishingonastar]

In all honesty I don't know how I'd feel as I think it would be mixed with hormones but from an outsiders perspective I'd say he genuinely wanted to give you a nice surprise and if the photo he chose isn't the one you'd like then just order it yourself. If it does happen to be your preferred photo then its a bonus he saved you money

I didn't even get offered a bounty photo with emily so its lucky I didn't get picture done with isabel else poor emily would feel left out when she's older!

Try and see it as a positive genuine pressie as I think it was intended to be

 

[lilwelsh1]

if i order the pose i want then i end up paying twice so he made my decision for me. I know he was being nice but as a pp said he's just basically done it for me. I wanted additional packs too and u cant order them without buying the main pack so basically i'd have to pay for whatever he ordered and then order my own and the extras meaning im paying thru the nose. Its not about the money tho its more that i do feel he's gone out of turn. ?

 

[nickyXjayno]

I'd understand if he'd paid for it but you're paying him back so it's not a gift really at all?
Ask him to un-order it as you are the one paying for it!
I'd be really annoyed as well as I'd rather choose the picture and extras.

I mean it would be like at my 3d scan if my inlaws chose the pictures and I didn't get a choice but paid myself anyway, bizaare much?
xx

 

[peanut56]

Did he ask you to pay him back, or are you paying him back because you want to or feel like you have to?
ETA: I ask this because if he did it and asked you to pay him back then while I'm sure his intentions were good, he really should have asked you first!

 

[kandbumpx]

No I dont think your been ungrateful tbh, as its not exactly a gift if you've to pay him back is it. :/
If he was paying then yes fair enough, but hes not.

I'd be really annoyed too!

 

[LittleBoo]

I'd be a little annoyed hun but it doesn't sound like he was doing it to be nasty, maybe calmly explain why you feel the way you do and that you hadn't had chance to pick which ones etc. x

 

[Flower_Girl]

It does sound like they had the best intentions but I would be upset too to be honest, I would have thought they could have at least asked you which was your favorite first and then ordered the right one x

 

[whoops]

It was a lovely thing for him to do (if it was intended as a gift) but I can understand how you're feeling. My dad took my car out the day after I bought it and filled it up with petrol for me - it was a really lovely thing to do but I'd been looking forward to doing car things myself, including getting petrol, so didn't feel as grateful as I would have otherwise.

Which sounds pretty insane written down!

 

[katy1310]

I think like many of the others that he was genuinely trying to do a nice thing but didn't realise how it would make you feel.

You will have a lot of hormones going crazy at the moment and sometimes they can make things seem like such a big deal but other people don't realise what you are going through and they don't think how their actions will impact on your feelings. I know from experience! When Sophie was born at 27 weeks, I spent ages on my first day out of hospital looking for the perfect little cuddly toy to keep her company in her incubator and I wanted it to be a special present from her mummy. It was the first thing I'd bought her just from me and it was really important to me. A couple of days later, one of DH's (female) colleagues turned up with an almost identical toy "for her incubator" and I felt unbelievably upset about this! In fact I cried for the whole car journey up to the hospital the next day, which is 60 miles! I just felt like it wasn't her place to do that, it was mine. It might seem like a little thing to someone else but to me it was massive. Same with when she took Sophie's clothes from neonatal away to wash them - that was my job, and I felt so much like she was taking over and pushing into places she had no business being! I don't know how I would feel about it now my hormones have all settled down but I still don't feel happy about it when I think back

So I just really wanted to say I know what you mean about the feelings you have and wanted to send you some

 

[cissyhope]

Yeah if im honest,i think he has done a lovely thing! I wish some one would have done it for me as we couldn't afford the photos at the time. If you wanted to order the photos yourself then go ahead,then you have the best of both? Think you are being senstitve x

 

[wishingonastar]

yeah someone above said what i was thinking...i got impression you'd decided to pay him back, not that he automatically expected to have money returned to him...

if he bought it expecting you to give him the money then that was wrong of him and i personally would refuse to pay unless it was the picture and pack i wanted

 

[cowboys angel]

If you're paying him back cuz you want to/are upset/whatever, I think it was lovely. I'd be kinda irritated probably, but he meant it well.

If he says you need to pay him back...I'd be pissed.

 

[carly_mummy2b]

I think its a lovely gesture hun i think it just those damn hormones dont worry too much and if you still want to order your own then thats fine x x