Can I join "mummy club"
- Thread starter Kiki1993
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I can relate to this. Most of my friends have kids now and they meet up with the kids like you said at the park or at play groups. When I do tag along I sometimes feel like a spare part and they sit and discuss breast feeding tips or which nappies are the best. Having said that they do generally try to include me I just think our lives are at different stages. I suppose being the last of your friendship group to have babies has it's advantages though. We'll get lots of things passed down. And they can tell us where they went wrong so we can do it differently!
Sounds like they're not really prepared to make any effort. I appreciate that it must be hard sometimes to meet up at short notice when you've kids to look after but surely they can still find a little time for friends without kids. Seems like they only want to be friends with other mums with them showing an interest when they thought you might be expecting. They need to realise those of us that aren't mummy's are still interesting, fun people. Maybe try to make new friends that don't care if you have babies or not.
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This has never happened to me but I can understand feeling left out since they all have children. I agree with Molly about trying to make friends who don't have children yet and maybe you'll have more in common than women who do have children.
Symphony7
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See, I feel like the opposite will happen to me. All of my friends have horses and don't want children. I feel like when I have kids I will kind of be out of that circle. They will all want to take the horses out places galloping or jumping or showing and I just won't have the kind of time I do now to get horses on the trailer and leave. My best friend really doesn't want children and I definitely see her being a bit judgemental of me when I get pregnant. I will keep my horses but one is already leased out and the other will be half leased so I just won't be as involved as much as before and I don't think she will understand that.
I'll have to make new mom friends.
I'll have to make new mom friends.
staralfur
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There is a shift when you have kids. I've found myself become closer to my friends that have kids as well. It's nice, especially in the early days, to spend time with people who you can relate to in that way.
That being said, I still make effort to maintain friendships with my friends who don't have kids. I'm 25 so I do have a lot of childless friends still.
I can see where it might seem like I'm not making an effort sometimes, but my friends usually get together for drinks at 9pm, and when you have a young kid to get up with at 7 the next morning, it's not the most appealing activity.
But it sounds like you're trying to do things that accommodate their new lifestyle, so there's no reason they should be fobbing you off. I am always super appreciative of childless friends who want to do something kid-friendly or make an effort to just come visit LO and I. Your friends sound like they're perhaps not the most reliable friends in general and that might not even change if/when you have kids of your own.
That being said, I still make effort to maintain friendships with my friends who don't have kids. I'm 25 so I do have a lot of childless friends still.
I can see where it might seem like I'm not making an effort sometimes, but my friends usually get together for drinks at 9pm, and when you have a young kid to get up with at 7 the next morning, it's not the most appealing activity.
But it sounds like you're trying to do things that accommodate their new lifestyle, so there's no reason they should be fobbing you off. I am always super appreciative of childless friends who want to do something kid-friendly or make an effort to just come visit LO and I. Your friends sound like they're perhaps not the most reliable friends in general and that might not even change if/when you have kids of your own.
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I feel like the extreme odd one out in my circle, i haven't seen any of my "mummy" friends in about 4 months and not through me not trying, i know they will make the effort once i join mummy club but i seriously hate when people act like they know everyhting about YOUR pregnancy ecause they were pregnant before and when they think they know everything about your child etc. I saw one friend do that to a pregnant one (when they started to get pregnant so close together) and the one who had a newborn was like "you wait till he is here, you will get no sleep, he will cry 24/7, he will not let you put him down etc" and all i could think was if she said that to me i would tell her to F off, i hate when people act like they know all about your life! And when she gave birth it was a case off "wait till he is crawling, then you will be exhausted" ... am i the only one or would this kinda stuff annoy you too? That would be the biggest thing that would annoy me i think because it really annoyed me when i saw it done to someone else
That would get my nerves too.
