Can I wallow in my bfn for a moment

[fxmummyduck]

12 dpo tested bfn this morning, and also woke up to my bbs feeling ok and soft again after days of swelling/hard/soreness. So I know I'm out, my cm is turning very slightly brown so expecting af either tomorrow or the day after.

I just want to feel sad and wallow today but (and I know they're only trying to help) people keep offering me advice which has just turned me into a horrible rageful person.

Dh kissed me on the head and said sorry before walking out to work. Rage.

My sister said oh well you can look forward to trying again (she only has to think get pregnant and she is, has never 'tried'.) Rage

My mum says oh don't worry relax it will happen. Rage

By best friend bless her is trying to be supportive but has major struggles of her own with a final ivf attempt soon. Guilt. I shouldn't be upset I get to try again at least, it's only been 5-6 months, now I feel like an awful person.

Thank you for letting me vent here I know you get it. I'm sorry for everyone struggling harder than me today, you're stronger than I am. I know I'm probably being awful today and tomorrow will be a better day.

Oh and my other personal favorite response. Well you had ds so dont worry you can do it again, at least you have him and you know you can get pregnant. Rage.

 

[Diamondgirl13]

Fxmummy looks like I'm joining you for this next cycle 😢 Today is definitely a day to wallow in self petty (and tomorrow)!! Then we pick ourselves up and do it all again!! February marks a year for us trying, and the panic of the age gap with DS gets bigger every month!! Arrrggghhhhhh!!! Very mixed emotions right now!! x

 

[fxmummyduck]

Diamond what happened??? Huge hugs, I'm with you. And I'll be trying with you again! We can cheer each other on! So sorry 😐

 

[Diamondgirl13]

Didn't even get as far as testing, didn't even feel it coming, it just literally smacked me in the face from nowhere!! It's not full on yet, just brownish (sorry) but it's deffo her 😡

 

[fxmummyduck]

Urghh that is the worst!!! SO pissed for you. Did that to me last month on 7dpo was not expecting it at all. Still no cramps or anything?

 

[Diamondgirl13]

No cramps, nothing! Normally my skin breaks out terrible and I'm really ratty (esp with DH) but this month nothing! Weird!!!

Whats your plans for this cycle?? Are you doing anything differently or trying anything new??

 

[fxmummyduck]

Why do our bodies insist on driving us batshit crazy!!!

I'm not sure, haven't thought about it yet. Still getting over having to try again!!

 

[Diamondgirl13]

Batshit crazy 😂😂😂

Arrrgghhhhh I know, I'm so annoyed!!! 😡 and if I see one more pregnancy announcement on my Facebook!!! I'm trying not to be bitter but my god it's hard!!!

 

[Diamondgirl13]

Batshit crazy 😂😂😂

Arrrgghhhhh I know, I'm so annoyed!!! 😡 and if I see one more pregnancy announcement on my Facebook!!! I'm trying not to be bitter but my god it's hard!!!

 

[babylights]

Hugs ladies, ugh why does it have to be so hard??

 

[fxmummyduck]

Thanks babylights 🙂

 

[Diamondgirl13]

How are you feeling today fxmummy?? I woke up thinking maybe she won't properly arrive...she did!!! I'm couNting today as CD1...pass me the wine!!!

 

[Starkette]

I know exactly how you feel. I seriously thought last month was THE month. I got symptoms I never usually get during the tww and was so so so sad when I kept getting BFNs. Then AF came and...yea...I wallowed for a bit. A couple days really. Do let yourself feel sad. But once it's time to try again you'll feel better.

 

[baileybubs]

Hi ladies, just wanted to send hugs and agree it sucks and it's ok to wallow and feel sad. I'm only 2dpo at the moment but already preparing myself for disappointment. It's been 6 months for us this month so I do feel guilty as I know other people are struggling much more and have for much longer.
I try so hard to remain positive but then I don't want to get my hopes up to much as then I'll be a wreck with every BFN and every time the witch shows.

Hope you feel better soon ladies, it can be so hard month after month to keep the faith that it will happen.

 

[fxmummyduck]

Hi ladies, well I went from feeling quite positive this morning because af hadn't arrived to thinking I had a real squinter on a test, to now knowing I'm definitely out as spotting has turned red and cramps just started up again. So yes, diamond I shall pass the wine!

Thanks starkette, yeh I know I'll start to feel better the closer it gets to trying again. Sorry about last month for you, its gut wrenching when it feels like THE one.

Baileybubs this next cycle will be the sixth for us too, so yes I know other people have tried for longer, but it's still hard and we shouldn't feel guilty for being upset.

We do have to keep the faith it will happen! But it's tough!

 

[baileybubs]

It is tough to keep the faith sometimes. I'm rubbish coz I have no patience either, drives my hubby insane lol!

Sorry AF arrived mummyduck. I always try and do loads of things that I couldn't do if I were pregnant once AF arrives, my plan this month is a meal for Valentine's Day where I can eat pate and rare steak and drink wine hehe!