can men get post-natal depression

[nicole_]

am planning to speak to my doctor today at 6 week check-up but thought id ask on here before i make myself look an idiot

me and FOB split up on friday and he says he just doesnt love me anymore but now weve all sat down and spoke about it, his parents and friends think he may have some kind of depression maybe linked to aidy being born?
so for anyone with experience of depression, does this sound like it to you..

he went to the doctors 2 weeks back because he felt really tired and had absolutely no energy or motivation, he was like the walking dead if you looked at him, they did blood tests but found nothing
hes been getting random aches that no-one can explain
hes very snappy and annoyed at the littlest things suddnely and he used to be so tolerant
he hasnt bonded with aidy AT ALL, he just cant bring himself to do it
i think it can be bought on by a big stressful event? and i guess that could be little aidy
he has no inerest in sex at all, like that side of him is just gone
hes also lost quite a bit of weight but i but it down to him thinking he was actually gaining weight and thought he might have image problems but i guess it could be linked to depression too?
then obviously the problems were having in home and family life.

sorry i know its long

 

[kandyfloss]

Im pretty sure they can, I remember reading something about it before. If not post natal depression, he may well just have depression. Suggest going to the doctors together Google it lol.

Also sorry if this is insensitive, but your beautiful baby was born on my 2 year anniversary xx

 

[Angela49uk]

I'm pretty sure they can. Definately talk to a doctor hun xx

 

[KatelynsMummy]

Yes they can, and most dads suffer from it, some more than others, talking to a doctor is the best option, hopefully they can help

 

[Parkep]

Oh yah for sure!!! Sounds like it is depression hun

 

[whoops]

A lot of people blame PND on hormones, but the worst time for me was between two and three months after Lily was born, when the massive hormonal changes wouldn't have had as great an effect. I wasn't officially diagnosed with PND but the stress of the life change made me miserable and irritable and I'm only coming out of it now - it's completely feasible that the life change of having a new baby could affect men in the same way.

 

[Thegirl]

It does sound like depression.

I read something from NCT that said between 10-15% of men experience post natal depression. I've tried googling it but I can't find it now.

I would run it past the doctor, hopefully they can offer some advice.

Hope the situation imroves soon.

 

[cat81]

I don't know that they would call it post-natal depression but having a baby is a massively life-changing event and there is every reason why it could trigger depression in a man or woman. It certainly sounds like he may be suffering from depression going by the symptoms that you describe.

Speak to your doctor. I really hope that you are able to get him some help and keep your family together.

 

[nicole_]

thanks ladies
i think it probably is this tbh
i dont know how we'll recover from it though
if me and aidy make him depressed then he obviously shoundnt be around him

 

[Parkep]

Its not that you are making him depressed hun. Its just a big life changing event! It has nothing to do with how he WANTS to feel, he cant help the way he feels its not his fault.

 

[whoops]

thanks ladies
i think it probably is this tbh
i dont know how we'll recover from it though
if me and aidy make him depressed then he obviously shoundnt be around him

Not necessarily - it's bonding with my daughter that's really helped me feel better.

 

[xnewxmummyx]

Yep my cousin got it when his 1st baby was born.

xx

 

[NuKe]

he definitely sounds depressed. if he wont go to counselling, perhaps get him to talk to his GP?

 

[tu123]

I have always believed men can get post natl depression so i have always been on the look out since LO was born.

Most PCTs have to offer cognitve behavioural therapy now so ths is something he can get from the NHS.

 

[nicole_]

ive been thinking and im not so sure its depression, if it was why would he just say he didnt feel the same way about me anymore and doesnt love me enough. surely thats me and nothing to do with Aidy, i dunno

i spoke to my doctor and he didnt even seem to want to discuss it with me, just told me to get him to make an appointment but didnt say how they can help :/ the attitude he gave didnt really give me much confidence that if he did go and clam up that they wouldnt prise out any info from him blerghhhh

 

[HT74]

Hi there - I was just reading this thread and wondered if you had got any further advice. My DH and I separated last weekend after very similar circumstances. First he said he didn't love me any more but after a few conversations he says it is more that he cannot bond or cope with our new baby. He had depression and a breakdown a few years back:

He is seeing the doctor on Monday for some help.

Thanks
HT