Can someone help me

Discussion in 'Trying To Conceive' started by shorty2k8, Apr 9, 2009.

  1. shorty2k8

    shorty2k8 1 son ttc #2

    Joined:
    Apr 1, 2009
    Messages:
    874
    Likes Received:
    0
    Hi,

    I'm Nicki and me and my fiance would now like to take the next step and start a family. We both feel ready to be parents, BUT........
    I have emetophobia........ and i am absolutely terrifed of bein sick... and obviously i know one of the known common problems with pregnancy is the sickness, I really dont want this to stop me havin somethin so special. I am so scared of bein ill with the pregnancy, It's makin me feel already like i'd be a terrible mother cause of the fear of just gettin pregnant, even tho its wot i want.

    I know some people wont understand this but i really hope someone will and wil be able to help me,,, not to get over my fear but at least if i know im not the only one thats scared and that it doesnt make me a bad person.

    thanks ladies

    xxxxx
     
  2. Jeannette

    Jeannette Pregnant - 1st Trimester

    Joined:
    Dec 22, 2008
    Messages:
    542
    Likes Received:
    0
    Hi Shorty2k8,

    You're not the only one!! There was someone a few months ago in your same situation, though I can't say I remember her name. You could try searching old threads to find people....

    I'm far from an expert on phobias, so if what I am about to say is really dense than I sincerely apologize in advance. But here was my initial thought process... Not everyone gets morning sickness. It's common, but not mandatory or anything. And many people will feel nautious without really getting sick. So what I'm wondering is if you focus on how badly you want a baby, and keep reminding yourself that not everyone gets sick and you might not get sick, that will make you feel comfortable enough to get pregnant. And once you are pregnant, then you will kind-of just have to roll with what happens (not a lot of choices at that point). And if unfortunately you do get morning sickness, it might actually be productive for you with your fears because you are going to have to face it, which is one on the therapies for reducing phobia anxiety...

    Again, these are my thoughts. I hope they help. :hugs:
     
  3. shorty2k8

    shorty2k8 1 son ttc #2

    Joined:
    Apr 1, 2009
    Messages:
    874
    Likes Received:
    0
    Yeah thats what i said to my fiance, we are going for it anyway despite my fear as i really dont want to never have a family due to somethin so silly, and yeah my sister in law is pregnant at the moment, she is like me and hates bein sick. she feels sick in waves but is never sick so i'm hoping to be a lucky one.... im afraid its goin to take me a while to get pregnant anyway due to the dreaded depo injection..... god knows wen my periods wil come back, but we've started trying anyway! :) thank you for your help :0) xx
     
  4. bababas

    bababas Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 21, 2008
    Messages:
    1,486
    Likes Received:
    0
    Hi I dont know if i will be any help, but maybe i can add my input anyway.

    I had phobia of pregnant women and childbirth. I was really scared about it. If I dream that I would be preggers I would wake up crying and being glad that it was just a nightmare. I did not bother about this fear, until I felt like wanted our own baby.

    I started to think logical, and looked up childbirth videos, and I remember my mom giving birth and I tell myself, that it is the most natural thing, and that this process cannot be a problem. I am a very athletic strong person, and friends of mine who are not athletes had babies, so I tell myself, common if they can do it you can do it. And the more I read about it, and the more it came normal and natural to me, I can say that I am not a little scared of it anymore. The bottom line, there is nothing to be scared of, just do it :) it will be fun and worth it. If they can do it, we can do it.

    I hope that helps, maybe you can also try to read more and more about it, and ask your doctors help also. When there is a will there is a way. And the best thing in succeeding something is to think positive.
     
  5. aimee-lou

    aimee-lou Totally Outnumbered!!

    Joined:
    Dec 17, 2008
    Messages:
    12,510
    Likes Received:
    0
    Hi nikki -

    A friend of mine at school had the same thing. She became dangerouly underweight because she got so bad that she would never eat incase it made her sick. I can see how much this fear can take hold and I do understand why you must be feeling how you do.

    I just wanted to re-assure you that not everyone gets sick with morning sickness. I've not been sick once at all in the first 12 weeks and my sister didn't have any pregnancy symptoms at all when she was pregnant. You can get some help from your doctor if you want to discuss TTC with him/her and they might be able to help.

    I really hope that you do not let this put you off having a LO. I think everyone will say that they'e had discomfort of some kind, and I for one am not looking forward to labour, but the end result is so worth it and focussing on what is beyond your fear can help you to overcome it.

    Hope you're ok hun and best of luck with TTC.

    xx
     
  6. shorty2k8

    shorty2k8 1 son ttc #2

    Joined:
    Apr 1, 2009
    Messages:
    874
    Likes Received:
    0
    Thats brilliant and thanks to you all for not judgin me or thinkin its a silly phobia, cause it can be embarassin sometimes, but i am goin to talk to my doctor about conceiving and i think its goin to take a while. im not too scared about labor, got a decent pain threshold even tho i know how painful it must be, lol. the labor has never really been much concern. Just cant wait to see a positive line cause then theres no goin back and 'l be really happy :) xx
     
  7. MonkeyFeet

    MonkeyFeet Pregnant after ICSI

    Joined:
    Feb 27, 2008
    Messages:
    298
    Likes Received:
    0
    I'm with you, I suffer from emetophobia and it is my biggest fear about being pregnant, more even than the (admittedly also very scary) thought of giving birth. In spite of my phobia I am going ahead with TTC and trying to focus on the baby and how not everyone is actually sick even if they feel nausous. My mum was horribly sick with me, not just in the morning but from waking until about 7pm and was physically sick which made her lose weight in her first trimester so I'm scared I'll be the same as her. I just hope hope hope I wont. The thought of having a baby is enough for me to really try to get over my phobia as for the majority of women the sickness doesn't continue throughout the entire pregnancy so even if I do get sick there will be an end to it and I'll know why I'm sick.

    I get it though, it's horrible.
     
  8. shorty2k8

    shorty2k8 1 son ttc #2

    Joined:
    Apr 1, 2009
    Messages:
    874
    Likes Received:
    0
    yeh my mom suffered sickness mornin noon and night for the whole 9 months with all 5 of her kids, and that scared me, but she reassured me that my nan didnt suffer sickness at all, so it is just a case of pot luck, and i also feel it cud b a case of how high your threshold is for bein sick. i cud never be sick at the drop of a hat, i try my hardest to never be sick. but yeh i am goin to go ahead and try anyway and whatever will be will be, i want a little son or daughter to raise, im even namin the baby already and i havent even concieved yet, lol. xxx
     
  9. MonkeyFeet

    MonkeyFeet Pregnant after ICSI

    Joined:
    Feb 27, 2008
    Messages:
    298
    Likes Received:
    0
    I'm the same! We're already coming up with names and I have to hide from my knitting needles so I don't start making clothes! I don't want to jinx things, I'm just so desperate for a baby.
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice