Can't cope with the pressure of peoples comment :(

[Unexpected212]

I had gender dissapointment with my son. I had always seen myself with girls and never imagined having a boy. I had a feeling I was having a boy but when It was confirmed at my 16 week scan I felt so sad and down and was grieving for the little girl I thought I'd never have.

Of course over the rest of the pregnancy and when he was born I just fell completely and utterly and hopelessly in love with him. He is the sweetest little boy, he's always slept through the night, he eats great, he's incredibly intelligent and he's always been very affectionate. I couldn't ask for a better little man and as soon as he was in my arms I thought 'I wouldn't swap him for the world!'

Then we decided to try again and I was trying a girl sway. I got pregnant within a month but sadly had a very early miscarriage.

I then decided to stop girls swaying just incase I was doing something detrimental. Also because I just wanted to be pregnant. It wasn't about the gender anymore it was about the baby.

I'm mostly at peace with my gender dissapointment now. I really will be happy if it's a boy. But of course I would be ecstatic if it was a girl. I love the idea of one of each.

However people's comments are bringing my gender dissapointment back. Everyone I've told including friends and family keep saying 'I hope it's a girl' 'It better be a girl' EVERYONE

This makes me feel under pressure to produce the girl that I already really want. It also makes me feel like they will be dissapointed if it is another boy and that if it is another boy he won't be fussed over like my son was and everyone will just be like 'oh another boy'

Also my MIL who doesnt like me and knows I want a girl keeps saying 'I know it's a boy' just to wind me up!

Why do people have to make so many comments on the gender? Can't they just want a happy healthy baby for me?

I'm so greatful to be pregnant and just want a healthy baby at the end of it, but I feel like another boy will be a huge dissapointment to everyone else

The only people that don't really mind seem to be my mum and my husband.

 

[Unexpected212]

If that's too long to read basically:

I feel under pressure to have a girl or I feel like a boy won't be as fussed over and people won't be as excited and it's making my gender dissapointment come back

 

[kaths101]

I understand and it's horrible

I have 2 little boys, the first boy was fine, everyone was really pleased but my second son I kept getting "oh that's a shame" "oh dear maybe next time" etc..used to REALLY annoy me. I know my mum really wanted me to have a girl, everytime we would go in a shop she would head straight to the girls dresses and say "oh I wish you were having a girl"
I find it really rude but all you can do is outwardly show you really don't mind. If it is a boy tell people with pride and cut them short if they are going to make rude insensitive comments!!

 

[Unexpected212]

Thanks for the advice.

I really would love a little girl. When friends announce they are having a girl I feel jealous and I always look at the girl clothes. BUT I love my son and am happy he is a boy and I really just want this baby to be happy and healthy.

That's exactly what I'm talking about everyones like 'I hope it's a girl' 'It better be a girl' and I know if I say it's a boy they will be like 'Oh that's a shame'

 

[Reno]

I totally relate to this! MIL would have loved this one to be a girl, she refused to accept that it was a boy after my 14 weeks gender scan (said it was too early and she knew 'loads of people' who had gender scans and they got it wrong) she held the scan pictures up of my unborn baby boy and said to DS1, 'here's the baby, whatever it is', after we had told him over and over again that it was his baby brother! *sigh*

Her negativity then fed over to DH as she went on about it all the time, and so we had another gender scan at 24 weeks where boy was confirmed, and no comments have been made since! DH is now so excited about being a daddy to two boys!

While a girl would be lovely in the future, I hope for a load of boys now!

 

[Unexpected212]

Thank you it is really nice to know I'm not alone.

Sorry to hear about what you guys go through too

It just really doesn't help my gender dissapointment I felt like I was getting over it but with everyones comments i'm struggling again.

I know that i'll love my little boy (if i have one) more than enough for everyone. If anyone says anything negative if it's another boy I literally won't bother with them

 

[Julia35]

I can relate. I had a second boy just 15 months after my first. I don't think second babies are fussed over as much, not matter what gender. Then, I had a girl after the 2 boys, and waited 7 years. I hoped I would have one more girl, but I'm having a 3rd boy. I'm making the best of it and loving him more every day. Hugs!!

 

[Pink Sugar]

My first three got a lot of buzz by the fourth boy I guess people where over it I called my sister heartbroken to tell her the gender, her response, (sarcastically) of course it's a boy. Like I was stupid to believe that it could be otherwise.

 

[Jokerette]

I'm so sorry. I just posted a similar but opposite thread... It really bothers me when others give their "hopes" or assumptions on what you want for the sex.

 

[Unexpected212]

It seems to be a common issue

My friends and family seem really excited but a lot of people seem excited on the hope it will be a girl and I can imagine when I tell them they'll be dissapointed it's a boy

Got my gender scan booked for 15th March and I'm so scared

 

[Jokerette]

Hugs

 

[Unexpected212]

Thank you. Hugs to you too!