Cant do it anymore...

[LALSmith]

Hi girls, im just after some advice if possible. I've also posted this in the BF forum as i wasn't sure which forum would be best to ask.
My little girl was 7 weeks on Wednesday & i've breastfed very successfully from day one. Never had any problems. She does have the occassional bottle of expressed milk which she takes really well however i'm beginning to find BF such a tie. I feel like i can't do anything, go anywhere, see anyone etc. I haven't been out on my own or with friends since shes been born. I feel as if im constantly stressing over feeding her. Like i said above i have expressed, but it seems to take quite some time. Sometimes (like yesterday) i can express & my boobs will be really full so i can express a good few ounces in the space of 10-15 mins. Me & my OH went shopping and i gave her that bottle on the way there. That kept her happy until we got home and then i gave her my breast. However today i've tried expressing & i can't get much out. Its taken about half an hour to get 2 ounces out! this isn't the first time though, some days i just cant get much out at all. I can still feed Madison just when it comes to expressing it doesn't happen very well. And obviously if i did plan to go out id need to express a lot more than 2 ounces!
I know it sounds awful but I feel as if i carried her for 9 months & now shes out shes still attached to me 24/7. The last couple of days she's been really restless & i was speaking to mum this morning & she said "well bring her round her for the day, i'll have her" and i thought in theory that'd be lovely. Just a few hours to myself without a crying baby. But i can't. I'd have to express for a good few days to get enough to cover her for a whole day. I feel like i cant just do anything as & when i like when breastfeeding. Everything has to be planned in advance. It's really upsetting me today, i just want to a few hours to myself for the first time in months! Is that so much to ask ? And to top it off my partners not very helpful. He isn't very patient and doesn't know what to do when she crys for a long time. Sounds stupid but i'd rather my mum have her than my own partner. He's brilliant with her in general just not when shes restless & wont stop crying.
I'm really considering putting her onto formula. I love BF her & i do feel guilty even thinking about putting her onto formula but at the minute i can only see it as a positive thing. I could feed her where i like, other people can feed her, i could go out & someone could babysit. The milks already there - well after taking a few minutes to prepare. I don't have to put everything on hold while i sit down & express for hours at a time. I just wouldn't have to think & worry so much. I wouldn't need to plan everything days/weeks in advance.
I just don't know how to go about it. Can i change over in one hit? Or do i have to do it gradually? Could it make her tummy iffy for a couple of days where shes not used to it? And then there's all different formulas - what one is best?

I just hate having so much to think & worry about? I don't want to feel so down about feeding my own baby....
Please advise if you can.
Sorry this is so long.

Thanks for reading
Laura x

 

[sunshine114]

It's totally up to you what you decide is best for your baby. I stopped trying to bf after 2 weeks and we switched to formula with no bother at all, if anything lo preferred it to ebm (but that's another story!)
I found my boobs were sore for a few days but was advised to leave them as if I expressed a little off, my body would just make it again. Showers helped, particularly a warm flannel. What I was advised to to was to switch a bit more gradually to help my supply slow down, so each day I introduced one more bottle of formula, so we had made the switch within 6 days.
We didn't have any problems with lo's tummy other than that he doesn't poop quite so often and when he does it really stinks!!!

Good luck with what you decide, if you have any more questions then ask away! X

 

[MilitaryMummy]

Hey Hun I know exactly know you feel!!!! I exclusively breastfed for 7 weeks and when I tried expressing I couldn't do it at all! Practically nothing would come out! So I planned to compliment feed but after a few days she wouldn't take to me so she ended up on formula full time and straight away I felt like a massive weight had been lifted off my shoulders!! I loved breastfeeding tho!! Since I went onto formula she's in such a fab routine!!! Don't get me wrong next time I will breastfeed again for about 6 weeks!!!!
If you feel it's right for you Hun then do it!! No one will think anyless of you and please don't feel guilty!! You've given her the best start!!! Xx

 

[LALSmith]

Thanks girls. I really do love BF. I love watching her feed & today I've felt so bad knowing I'm gonna have to end that but I just can't continue as I am. It's to much stress. I want to be able to leave her with family for a few hours, I want to be able to have a night out (or in) with my partner to give ourselves a break.we've got so much family that are so eager to babysit which would be so lovely for them & us but while I'm still BF non of the above is possible. It sound selfish, like I'm just thinking of myself but it isn't just me it effects. I want Madison to learn that she can be with other family instead of being so attached to me all the time. Me & my OH have made the decision to go & buy some formula tomorrow. Might seem a stupid question bur how long rougly does 1 tub of formula last? x

 

[babyfromgod]

I totally understand how you feel, my baby has reflux and i am trialling a thickened formula for a day to see if it helps him, i have a great supply of milk and i enjoy breastfeeding but if formula makes my baby happy then i will have to give up breastfeeding. I feel terrible about it but in the end we need to be happy in order for our babies to be happy. I am constantly stressed because he is always crying because of his reflux but if the formula helps it will be great

 

[Carrie76]

I don't know if this is an option or not but could you maybe give formula for the likes of days when your Mum would have her or for when you need a break ect? Maybe that might affect your supply? I honestly don't know alot about breastfeeding as I moved to formula after a couple of days. You should't feel bad at all, you have done brilliantly to do it for 7 weeks and think of the goodness she will have got from all that breastmilk! For us a tub of formula last about 5-6 days but I think when Ethan was a couple of months old maybe it would have lasted me about a week? I also know from research and from advice of a Pediatrician that Aptamil is known to be the formula that is closest to breastmilk and the Pediatrician advised us it was the easiest of all the formulas to digest, I don't think they are supposed to advise on formula but we followed his advice and changed Ethan to Aptamil

 

[bathbabe]

i have no advice regarding BF as i FF from day 1 but yes i would use Aptamil if you decide to use formula its the closest to BM. x

 

[GossipGirly]

i totally understand, im in the process of the switch and she still has 1 bottle of ebm a day but it messes with the routine as its digested quicker than ff, Its so much easier and a weight lifted off my shoulders and im so much happier and the routine and sleep are fab! we are on apitmal she has been sick a few times but nothing major and doesnt poop as much, infact i thought she was constipated but done a big explosion yesterday x

 

[stardust599]

i stopped breastfeeding at 2 weeks. LO wouldn't latch but we were just managing okay with nipple shields. i felt selfish as i did have a fab supply of breastmilk but i have postnatal depression and anxiety and haven't been able to cope with LO on my own and my OH decided enough was enough and sent me to bed and gave her formula. i was expressing for a few days but was such a mess and it was so time consuming. LO never slept either so I was also too tired to express most of the time. in the end the medication i got put onto meant i can't breastfeed anyway.

since we made the switch LO has been happier and feeding every 3hours instead of every 1-2!! she has been a little constipated and windy though so we've switched to aptamil comfort today and will see if that makes a difference xxx

 

[aob1013]

Ahhh the 6 week hurdle

I know it is so hard, but this is the peak time when it's hard. The novelty of a new baby has worn off and you are getting into the swing of things. 6 weeks ish is when baby has a growth spurt. It's normal for her to need you so often.

Please don't give up Laura, remember how much you wanted this. You are doing fabulously well. It does get so much easier, and you will feel so amazing and rewarded. Baby will soon start going longer between feeds, i promise.

You can always text/call me, i'm always happy to help, day or night xoxoxoxox

 

[Kay0102]

I only breastfed for a week and the guilt I went through which lasted days choosing to put little one onto formula was the best I ever made

I was the same couldnt really express well, had no normality and baby was constantly attached to me which I didnt like as felt like I was taking him away from daddy.

He was feeding every 2 hours for an hour (so every hour in theory) I introduced him straight onto formula and stopped BM completely one day he was absolutely fine and went straight to feeding 4 hourly in the day and 5 at night, iv never looked back!!

xx

 

[LALSmith]

Thanks for all replies ladies. I did decide to buy some formula today. Brought a tub of cow & gate. We went round my mums for the day & she had a bottle of expressed milk & 2 bottles if formula while we were there. Funny thing is she drank the formula better & easier than she did my milk. She was a lot more fussy with the expressed milk. I have to say, even though i love BF her it was nice to see watch my mum give her a bottle. Also, i've given her my breast tonight but she's always been a bit fussy with the night feed. Seems to get more wind at night & spends about an hour coming on & off my
boob before she has enough to settle. Again tonight was the same. I don't really know why, she feeds perfectly on my breast in the day. Just feeds, has hardly any wind & she's happy but at night it's different. So tonight I kept her on my breast but because she was agitated I thought well I'll try a little formula as well. After just a top of of between 1-2oz she's out like a light. There was no fussing while drinking either. At the minute it seems to be going quite well... I still want to keep her BF but if formula w da up
being what makes her happier then I guess that's what'll be best for her (and me).. xx

 

[LALSmith]

*if formula ends upbeing what makes her happy.... (bloody iPhone)

 

[aob1013]

 

[GossipGirly]

u have to do what you have to do hun, well done for doing it for a month, you should be very proud of yourself xxx

 

[Justagirlxx]

Thanks girls. I really do love BF. I love watching her feed & today I've felt so bad knowing I'm gonna have to end that but I just can't continue as I am. It's to much stress. I want to be able to leave her with family for a few hours, I want to be able to have a night out (or in) with my partner to give ourselves a break.we've got so much family that are so eager to babysit which would be so lovely for them & us but while I'm still BF non of the above is possible. It sound selfish, like I'm just thinking of myself but it isn't just me it effects. I want Madison to learn that she can be with other family instead of being so attached to me all the time. Me & my OH have made the decision to go & buy some formula tomorrow. Might seem a stupid question bur how long rougly does 1 tub of formula last? x

I dont know how big the cans of formula are where you live but the 12.5 ounce powdered cans last me about 3 days. It costs me around $200-300 a month for formula. My baby is on soy so that is more expensive. You may find that your baby will be A LOT gassier on formula. You as for the different brands, it's just about trial and error to see which one works best for your LO. Every formula brand has the same nutrients. Just one more thing...please make sure you are 100% okay with stopping breastfeeding, once you start giving formula you cant really go back. I'd go with introducing it gradually so that it's easier on your LOs stomach. Good luck. x

 

[GossipGirly]

I have a big tub of aptimil and I bought it on friday and its about half full still xx

 

[bubbles123]

Thanks girls. I really do love BF. I love watching her feed & today I've felt so bad knowing I'm gonna have to end that but I just can't continue as I am. It's to much stress. I want to be able to leave her with family for a few hours, I want to be able to have a night out (or in) with my partner to give ourselves a break.we've got so much family that are so eager to babysit which would be so lovely for them & us but while I'm still BF non of the above is possible. It sound selfish, like I'm just thinking of myself but it isn't just me it effects. I want Madison to learn that she can be with other family instead of being so attached to me all the time. Me & my OH have made the decision to go & buy some formula tomorrow. Might seem a stupid question bur how long rougly does 1 tub of formula last? x

I dont know how big the cans of formula are where you live but the 12.5 ounce powdered cans last me about 3 days. It costs me around $200-300 a month for formula. My baby is on soy so that is more expensive. You may find that your baby will be A LOT gassier on formula. You as for the different brands, it's just about trial and error to see which one works best for your LO. Every formula brand has the same nutrients. Just one more thing...please make sure you are 100% okay with stopping breastfeeding, once you start giving formula you cant really go back. I'd go with introducing it gradually so that it's easier on your LOs stomach. Good luck. x

Goodness formula is expensive where you are! Here (UK) a tub lasted me about 5-7 days when he was fully FF and about 10 days now he's weaned and down to 3 feeds a day and costs about £8 (about US $13) a tub. So I only spent £32 (US $50) at most a month on formula and less than that now and I buy the most expensive brand. I don't know how you can afford that

 

[babyfromgod]

Thanks girls. I really do love BF. I love watching her feed & today I've felt so bad knowing I'm gonna have to end that but I just can't continue as I am. It's to much stress. I want to be able to leave her with family for a few hours, I want to be able to have a night out (or in) with my partner to give ourselves a break.we've got so much family that are so eager to babysit which would be so lovely for them & us but while I'm still BF non of the above is possible. It sound selfish, like I'm just thinking of myself but it isn't just me it effects. I want Madison to learn that she can be with other family instead of being so attached to me all the time. Me & my OH have made the decision to go & buy some formula tomorrow. Might seem a stupid question bur how long rougly does 1 tub of formula last? x

I dont know how big the cans of formula are where you live but the 12.5 ounce powdered cans last me about 3 days. It costs me around $200-300 a month for formula. My baby is on soy so that is more expensive. You may find that your baby will be A LOT gassier on formula. You as for the different brands, it's just about trial and error to see which one works best for your LO. Every formula brand has the same nutrients. Just one more thing...please make sure you are 100% okay with stopping breastfeeding, once you start giving formula you cant really go back. I'd go with introducing it gradually so that it's easier on your LOs stomach. Good luck. x

Goodness formula is expensive where you are! Here (UK) a tub lasted me about 5-7 days when he was fully FF and about 10 days now he's weaned and down to 3 feeds a day and costs about £8 (about US $13) a tub. So I only spent £32 (US $50) at most a month on formula and less than that now and I buy the most expensive brand. I don't know how you can afford that

That is rather expensive! In New Zealand it is about $15-$26 for a tin depending which one you buy.

 

[LuciLu88]

I stopped breast feeding after only a week...it totally gutted me having to do it but I got the baby blues quite badly and she started feeding every hour and due to having a C-section I found it hard positioning her without me being in pain. I just struggled badly and I didnt feel I could have friends round as I didn't feel comfortable getting my boobs out! And when I had the baby blues and was stuck indoors due to not being able to drive for 6 weeks after the C-section I just got so down. I switched over to aptamil and it is great! I think it's the closest to breast milk and my LO is so content on it. As soon as we went on to FF she went longer between feeds and now she sleeps through the night from 830pm till 6am then down again till 9am at only 8 weeks (we are very lucky!).

One thing I would say it be careful with your boobs if you cut off BF fully. I just changed straight over and didnt massage my boobs like you're meant to (I think there are other things they recommend you do to help your milk dry up) and I ended up with something called Mastitis (its an infected and blocked milk duct) ...it was horrendous!!!! I thought I had the flu...I was being sick, felt hot and cold, my body ached and my left boob went bright red and SOOOO hot...I didnt think all my "flu symptoms" were related to my bright red hot boob but it was and it was Mastitis...I had to go on anti-biotics. So do be careful hun.

Go for what you're comfortable with regarding BF and FF...you aren't a bad mummy if you FF. And if there is a happy mummy then there will be a happy baby