Can't leave the room at bedtime

Discussion in 'Toddler & Pre-School' started by Alias, Nov 14, 2011.

  1. Alias

    Alias Mum to two

    Joined:
    Aug 14, 2009
    Messages:
    878
    Likes Received:
    0
    Before I went back to work I had a great routine with DD. Part of it was nap time, I'd put her in her cot, give her her dummy and bunny, turn on her music mobile or glow worm and then walk out, closing the door. She usually didn't fuss about it. DH almost always put her to bed at night.

    Now she's in the creche and has her nap there, and DH does most of the bedtimes still (he doesn't see her as much during the day as me). I don't put her down often. He puts her in her cot, gives her her dummy, turns on her music mobile/glow worm, then crawls out of the room so she can't see him, and leaves the door open. I didn't realise for a long time that he does the crawling thing, until I came out of the bathroom one day and found him on his hands an knees in the hall :)

    Anyway, now DD screams if I put her to bed and do it my way - walking out and closing the door. And I'm pregnant with number 2, so crawling out of the room isn't going to be an good option in a few months time. So how do I change the routine, and more importantly how do I convince my husband on the change?
     
  2. QTPie

    QTPie Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 7, 2009
    Messages:
    4,536
    Likes Received:
    0
    I would do the stay within sight (until she falls asleep) and gradually move further away until you are sitting outside the door.

    DS used to hold one of our hands to fall asleep, but we used the above technique - not holding hands, then very slowly moving a little further away each night (a few feet at a time), then sitting just outside the door, then going completely. Took about 3 weeks from start to completely (happy) self-settling.

    (it is a supernanny technique)

    QT
     
  3. ellers

    ellers Mum to Louie!

    Joined:
    Jul 6, 2009
    Messages:
    635
    Likes Received:
    0
    As QT said - gradually withdraw over a week or two, however long it takes. If there's enough light, take a book. Just don't react apart from 'sssh, bed time' or whatever you'd normally say. I got to a point where I was just standing just outside the door where he could still see me for a few nights, then I could leave the door open and walk away then come back and close it.
    Just make it gradual. And whatever you do, don't have anything to go and get on with! If I was thinking about what I need to do for dinner, or laundry that needs sorting, it wouldn't work because I was itching to get away! She'll go back to how she was, just a confidence and separation thing I suspect x
     
  4. Bookish

    Bookish Active Member

    Joined:
    Jul 20, 2011
    Messages:
    37
    Likes Received:
    0
    Like other posters, I had to sit in my son's room for him to fall asleep for a long time, but when I finally decided to try to get him to sleep on his own, I gradually changed where I was sitting. For a few days -- right next to his crib; for the next few days, a little further away; etc until I was in the doorway, then out in the hall. I had tried a lot of other things, but the gradual move worked best for us.
    I used this book:
    Sleep Lady's Good Night, Sleep Tight: Gentle Proven Solutions to Help Your Child Sleep Well and Wake Up Happy by Kim West
    Good luck!
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice