Career Vs Home Life???

[littletobyj]

Here is my question-is it possible to have both? A successful career and a totally fulfilled home life?
My LO is 14 months, he wasn't planned....me and OH love him more than life itself!! Up until having LO I was very career minded, I had worked very hard to progress and consequently I am the largest earner in the household. I naively said that I would want to be back at work 6mths after birth....I actually took 10 mths and would have taken more if I could afford it. Obviously my perspectives have changed, financially I need to work, we also run our own business from home as well as both working full time. Sometimes I question how much I miss out on by not being at home more....I feel guilty!
So a fantastic opportunity has come up which means I can be at home more but it means virtually abandoning my career....I am going to go for it, I think that I can always go back once Toby is older. I just hope I don't regret my decision. I know everyone has very different thoughts on this would like to hear them!!

 

[hypnorm]

i gave up my career as a veterinary nurse but i figure i can go back to it, i'll never earn loads doing that but the job satisfaction is high.

 

[littletobyj]

Yes, I wouldn't say I was a huge earner but its about independance too!

 

[thelilbump]

not really any advice but i wanted to send you some

 

[coccyx]

Something would have to give or loose out surely

 

[Sarahkka]

I discovered that I am not meant to be a stay at home mum. I totally thought I would be satisfied/fulfilled with that, but in all honesty, I wasn't.
I loved the time I spent at home with Simon, but the sense of wholeness that I felt when I returned to work was pretty profound. It told me that the professional side of me is not something that I can ignore or put on hold. I felt really guilty about that for a short while, but I think it's all about balance. I can be a great mum and have a career. The two things aren't mutually exclusive.
In my case, I have a very hands-on husband who took 11 weeks parental leave to look after our son when I got offered a great new job 8 months into my mat leave. We are very much partners in raising our child, so I don't come home to heaps of cleaning, childcare, etc that's all on my back as well as my professional work, you know? It makes all the difference.
Good luck with your decision. I think where there's a will, there's a way, personally. It's just important to keep assessing everyone: baby, partner, work, yourself, and make sure that you are finding that balance.

 

[PeanutBean]

I don't think the two are mutually exclusive but I don't think it's possible to give everything to both at the same time. I agree with Sarahkka that it's ab out balance and every woman will have her own balance that will most satisfy her. I am full time in work and don't want to be but can't go part time in my job and haven't found any others as my job is rather specialised. I'll keep looking though as I find I am not happy spending so much time away form Byron. I also find that about £12k pa of my income basically covers the cost of childcare and actually going to work and a little jiggle into an appropriate part time job would see us no worse off for more time with Byron. I am sure that once all the kids are in school I will want to do more work but right now I want to be more at home. I'm also volunteering in something more akin to my personal interests now so I'd like to be able to do more of that.

 

[dizzyspells]

With my first I went back to work and she was at nursery 7.30-6pm all week and to be honest looking back I missed out on so much.My partner and I were always tired and argued over silly things and Mia was at her crankiest!.I gave up work when Mia was 3 and our family life became so much better,we were all happier even though things were tougher on the money front,but it is true money does not buy you happiness.I have not worked since and am enjoying being at home with Finn soo much and its made me realise what I missed out on with Mia.I do miss work dont get me wrong and will go back when he starts school but I am so happy we all are with the decision we made.I realise every family is different and what works for one does not work for all.xx

 

[Lu28]

I have also always been very career minded and assumed I'd be looking forward to returning to work. But once Aisling arrived, I can't bear the thought of being apart from her. At the moment, I can't go back to work anyway (my job is in Dublin and I'm in England! ) but even if I could, the only option would be Aisling being in nursery 7am-6.30pm Monday to Friday and part of me wonders why we bothered trying for 10 months to have her if I just see her at weekends.

We've managed to sell our house and in January will be paying off all our debts and not getting any new ones. The hope is that we'll be able to live on a shoestring as much as possible while we both get businesses up and running - DH FT and me working around Aisling. I'm really hoping it'll work though. It's not possible to work PT in my field and I can't cope with the idea of FT

 

[PeanutBean]

I just feel so envious of those who can afford to be SAHMs or who are able to do their own business at home. It makes me feel so trapped...

 

[littletobyj]

I have also always been very career minded and assumed I'd be looking forward to returning to work. But once Aisling arrived, I can't bear the thought of being apart from her. At the moment, I can't go back to work anyway (my job is in Dublin and I'm in England! ) but even if I could, the only option would be Aisling being in nursery 7am-6.30pm Monday to Friday and part of me wonders why we bothered trying for 10 months to have her if I just see her at weekends.

We've managed to sell our house and in January will be paying off all our debts and not getting any new ones. The hope is that we'll be able to live on a shoestring as much as possible while we both get businesses up and running - DH FT and me working around Aisling. I'm really hoping it'll work though. It's not possible to work PT in my field and I can't cope with the idea of FT

It certainly sounds like you have got a plan and I completely understand where you are coming from, I really hope it works out for you! What business are you thinking of? Me an my other half sell children's clothes online, we started whilst I was on maternity and the hope was that I cold go back part time or not at all, think that its going to take a little longer before we can do that but that is the long term ambition! Now that I have had Toby I want more children and I don't want to miss out on bringing them up, at the same time I want to be financially able to spoil them a little!

 

[jms895]

I am doing both AND doing a degree its very hard but I just have to plan loads....

I have cut from full time to 4 days though and I manage my unit at work. Caine is enjoying nursery but I have a great family support network too.

Yes its possible though I would love more time with my little man xx

 

[Lu28]

littletobyj - I'm in the process of starting a silver fingerprint, footprint and handprint jewellery company. Very very early days at the moment but I'm hopeful! Especially if we're in a position now where we can cut down on our expenditure. If the house hadn't sold, there's no way we could give it a shot. It may be in a few months that I'm having to get a job but I really really hope not.

 

[littletobyj]

littletobyj - I'm in the process of starting a silver fingerprint, footprint and handprint jewellery company. Very very early days at the moment but I'm hopeful! Especially if we're in a position now where we can cut down on our expenditure. If the house hadn't sold, there's no way we could give it a shot. It may be in a few months that I'm having to get a job but I really really hope not.

Well that sounds great, I honestly wish you all the best as I know how hard it can be. PM me know when you are up and running, if you have a site I would love to take a look!

 

[polo_princess]

I too think its a matter of striking the right balance ...

Im going to work 3 days a week, ive worked hard for my career and my wage, it'd be a shame to give it up completley, plus i want to keepy my current lifestyle not have to "downgrade"