Cautiously Pregnant After A Loss. PMA, But Not Taking It For Granted.

[Erinsmummy]

Hi ladies, can i join? I had a MMC in feb this year, started trying again in april and got my bfp a few days ago. Im jst over 4 weeks. I am so so scared I have a daughter who is 2 and a half, so when i fell pregnant last time i took it for granted everything would be ok, we told everyone really quickly. This time, me and OH are very worried! Im guessing you all know how i feel! How on earth can i ease our worry a bit? Also OH thinks we should kep it to ourselves this time, but when everyone knew and i had the MC everyone was so supportive, so if it happens again no1 would know and we would have no support! I dont like that Eurgh im just worrying arnt i! Sorry ladies i dont mean to be a negitive nelly!!

 

[Clobo]

Hi Erinsmummy, so sorry for your loss but congratulations on your BFP, thats great news. I have a few peices of advice from what I did earlier in the year when I was in your position and it really helped me ...

~ think about today, dont worry about the past or the future, for today you are pregnant!!
~ dont compare this pregnancy to either of your last ones, it is bound to have differences and similarities and that doesnt mean anything
~ keep yourself busy, it will help the days go past more quickly
~ stay positive, force yourself if you need to, say to yourself that everything WILL be ok
~ look after yourself, eat healthily, dont stress or overdo things

As for telling everyone, perhaps just tell your parents or close friend for now, as the weeks go on perhaps tell a few more people, I was like you and found that having told people meant they were more supportive but it doesnt mean you have to tell the world yet.

What are you up to today? Have anything nice planned? Bet your daughter keeps you busy xxx

 

[Erinsmummy]

Thanks clobo. I think your right about telling people, will tell my parents and sister for now. My mil hates me so would rather leAve her lol. Yeah I've got lots to keep me busy, moving house in 2 weeks, getting married in 2 months, and then it'll be honeymoon and then x mas n then my daughters birthday do lots going on. Not up to much today as my parents are taking lo out, so I've got the day to myself thanks for the advice, I will def take it one day at a time. Do u know if your havIng a boy or girl? How is ur pregnancy? Xx

 

[Clobo]

Hiya, sounds like you have a lot of other things to think about then, every time you feel a wobble just concentrate on something else

Exciting about your wedding, do you have it all planned??

Im fine thank you, i wont lie, you never stop worrying you just keep it under control, Im loving being pregnant now but actually starting to look forward to having the baby!! We are team yellow :yellow"

xxx

 

[Erinsmummy]

Yeah all planned mainly! Got my wedding dress fitting on Tuesday so looking forward to that. Yeah I imagine I will worry all the way through, but got to think positive! It's gonna n ok this time! With my daughter I even had a bleed and I didn't worry! I just sailed through it, never worried about anything, don't know how I was like that! That's lovely it's a surprise, not many people wait these days! I'm not sure I'll be able to lol, I know oh will want to know xxx

 

[too_scared]

hi ladies

welcome erinsmummy. so sorry for your loss. you are in the right place for support. the ladies here are wonderful.

well, we are back from the concert. it was SO SO great. i Stephen Tyler. when they played Dream On they rolled a baby grand out on stage right in front of us and he played and sang while Joe Perry got on top of the piano and played guitar. it was awesome. we were about 5 feet from the catwalk coming out from the stage.

https://i292.photobucket.com/albums/mm17/craftingiswhereitsat/StephenTyler.jpg

back on the pg front... i am still spotting. it is still very light and brown. i am keeping my PMA and keep telling myself that everything is ok. today i am very bloated and feel really fat. :S hopefully that is a good sign. haha! yesterday i was really sicky in the morning. i think i figured out the cure for that though. i have to take part of my prenatal in the morning with a full glass of water on an empty stomach. that doesn't go well AT ALL! haha! i can take it 2 hours after food as well so that is my plan and today it is going good so far.

i hope you are all well. i hope you all had a great weekend.

 

[Lozdi]

Hi ladies, can i join? I had a MMC in feb this year, started trying again in april and got my bfp a few days ago. Im jst over 4 weeks. I am so so scared I have a daughter who is 2 and a half, so when i fell pregnant last time i took it for granted everything would be ok, we told everyone really quickly. This time, me and OH are very worried! Im guessing you all know how i feel! How on earth can i ease our worry a bit? Also OH thinks we should kep it to ourselves this time, but when everyone knew and i had the MC everyone was so supportive, so if it happens again no1 would know and we would have no support! I dont like that Eurgh im just worrying arnt i! Sorry ladies i dont mean to be a negitive nelly!!

Hi Sorry for your loss, and congratulations on your new pregnancy! Clobo was pretty much spot on with how to get through early pregnancy after a loss- one day at a time, its the only way. I didn't tell many people I was pregnant with the mmc pregnancy- and I was glad of that when we found out it had gone wrong- but honestly it sounds to me like you have an amazing network of support, and its recommended that when you fall pregnant you only tell early those whose support you would want if the worst was to happen, and if that happens to be a whole bunch of people then theres nothing wrong with telling them early if thats what you feel you want to do. I remember being very scared in the first few weeks, I got a doppler and that helped alot, knowing baby was still alive in there (my mmc happened at around 7 weeks but was not discovered til our 12 week scan) so the doppler truly kept me sane once I got it. Plus I had 2 early scans, which was reassuring too but not as much as the doppler- though I had the scans much earlier than I could have found baby with the doppler. Will you be getting an early scan?

I'm the same as you....theres no way I could wait til birth to find out what we are having! I have a lot of admiration for those ladies who can wait til birth though! I'm just way too impatient and have to know as much as I can and also, I have boys already so if Lil Fella had been a girl we would have needed to do much more prep! Luckily I never throw stuff away or pass it on so we have all our boy stuff sorted!

Mindy thats a great shot! Glad you had a wonderful time! Heres something interesting- one of my gaming friends heard a song last night and knew all the words, and had the most immense deja vu she has ever had...only for her mum to walk into the room a moment later and say 'Oooh, I went to a live performance of this while I was pregnant with you!' How cool is that? She remembered the words to a song she heard in the womb!

The spotting really does sound like delayed IB, the bloating is a great sign! Oh as for prenatals, I took mine literally just before bed, so they had no chance of making me ill.

We went to a housewarming party yesterday, well we went to half of it as OH had work in the afternoon, it was lovely. The couple who threw the party have a 15 year old boy....an almost 2 year old boy...and twin boys aged almost 1! 3 under 2! Then me and my boys turned up, then another friend with 2 boys....then just before we had to leave someone else arrived and she had a girl, who quickly took control of all the boys!

It was tiring though, and I don't think I drank enough water because I had BH that almost doubled me over when I got home and got a bit freaked out so downed a pint of water and nothing crazy has happened since except a bit of extra cm, which comes and goes anyway. Lil Fella is trying again to stretch his full length within the confines of his womb, he feels kind of big! I think he has had a growth spurt these last couple of days!

 

[too_scared]

that is a really neat story!! i don't think my little baby will remember Aerosmith just yet... i don't think his/her ears are formed yet at only 6 weeks. heehee!

my prenatal vitamin is actually 2 pills. there is one for the morning and one for the evening. one has iron and one has calcium. supposedly if you take iron and calcium together the calcium inhibits your ability to absorb the iron. the am one has iron and is to be taken on an empty stomach with a glass of water. the pill itself isn't what does it. it is the water today i took it after my breakfast and it was good. i have been having quite a bit of trouble drinking water this pregnancy my tummy just doesn't like it this time. that is NOT good. i am trying to drink as much water as i can when i can.

sounds like that party was hectic! all those boys... heehee! leave it to the girl to take over!

last september to december i covered a maternity leave in a kindergarten class (i think you call it year one there? 1st year of school, 4-5 year olds) and one of my students had 3 younger siblings under 2! she was 5 and she had a younger sister and then her mom got pg again and had twins - a boy and a girl - when she was a little over 1! 3 under 2! wow! that student was my best student in the class. she was a great little girl and such a wonderful helper. she was so caring and helpful to all her classmates. i really miss her! i really miss that whole class.

 

[Lozdi]

I wonder, could you better get the pills down with cold milk?

I would hate to find my stomach rebelling against water, I love the stuff. I eat a lot of ice too, maybe try ice chewing? Its lovely and will get water into you without it feeling like water- I can't neck water on an empty stomach yet the ice is fine. I have started making what I call 'Apple Ice Cakes' basically I get plastic cups, put about 10mm of water in, and 10mm of apple juice, and freeze it. It creates a kind of softer ice, thats much easier on the teeth than pure water ice, plus your getting appley goodness and the water you need. They freeze fast using the above amounts of water and end up a nice size like a little cake and you can bite it really easily ohhhhh my goodness I'm going to go eat one right now because describing it has reminded me I have 3 waiting for me in the freezer!

 

[too_scared]

i don't know. milk has calcium and that is what i am supposed to be avoiding in the am with that pill. haha! i am wondering if i could switch the pills and take the am on in the pm right before bed? i can definitely drink more water in the evening.

ice sounds wonderful! usually i drink water straight from the tap, basically at room temp, because i like that better. lately i have been wanting it ice cold. i think i may have to make some of your appley ice! great idea! thank you

 

[Erinsmummy]

I did the last test I had, same as one of the ones I did 2 days ago and first of all the control line was to the side, not in middle, and the test line, maybe a hint of something but looks like a negative to me. Confused.

 

[Lozdi]

I completely forgot milk has calcium

Erinsmummy you should have seen my tests at 4 weeks, so faint I couldn't even get them to show up on a pic. Test again in 48 hours and you will se its darker-mine didn't get darker daily, just every other day.

 

[Erinsmummy]

Well I waited 48 hrs to do another test, so assumed it would be darker but it was neg. so ivejust done a clear blue and it is positive, but no darker than 3 days ago. About the same... I know that hcg varies in early pregnancy so will try not to worry too much, but can't help it!

 

[too_scared]

this time i only tested 2 times. once to get my bfp the first time and then once a week later because i had a digital test leftover from the cycle before.

the last time i was pg i tested every day from 8 dpo on and got my bfp at 13 dpo. then i kept testing wanting to see it getting darker. i stressed myself out SO much. this cycle all i did was temp. i didn't even do opk's since all that testing was just too much. this time i decided to leave everything to fate. it is SO much better, much less stress.

bfp's in early pg can change if your urine isn't concentrated enough. it is much too stressful.

please stop testing, it will just make you upset and confused

 

[Erinsmummy]

Ok thank you, I will leave it now! I'm gonba drive myself crazy else!

 

[too_scared]

that is my exact reasoning this time around too. i even stopped temping as soon as i got my bfp. this is a very important time not to have stress!

 

[Clobo]

Loz, I wondered whether drinking more water would dull the Braxton Hicks contractions a bit like with cramps, ive been drinking loads of water since I had cramp in my leg and not as many BH in the last week!!

Mmmm apple ice cakes, yummy!! Ive been eating a lot of Mr Men lollies that are on offer in Tescos, nom nom!!!

Erinsmummy, yep I stopped testing after I had obvious positives cos it varies so much and also on how concentrated your pee is. Its better just not to test I think chick

xxx

 

[Erinsmummy]

Update, ive started light cramping and light bleeding so pretty sure an early MC

 

[too_scared]

oh no! i really hope not!

 

[Clobo]

Erinsmummy, aw mate are you ok chick?? There are other reasons for bleeding in early pregnancy thinking of you and really hoping things are ok.

xxx