CD 39 and a miserable grump! *rant alert*

Autumnflower

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Hate my body today. I'm in a miserable mood. :( ... I wasn't even actively trying this month and now my body decides to be stupid. I tested on CD 34 with a frer and a BFN!!!! I refused to test again until the weekend. I think I've held onto a small bit of hope that perhaps I may be pregnant. Then the rational side takes over and crushes it. If I were pregnant it would have showed on CD 34. If I was pregnant I would know somehow. Stupid brain. I took a break last month because TTC was so frustrating and annoying with the bfn after bfn after bfn. And it was so stress free and amazing and i didn't even notice I was late for AF until I was already 2 days late. Of course the one month i take a break my body gets all f**ked up and makes me depressed. I know i should test but I will break down if I see another bfn... I'd rather see AF. Plus I only have one frer and I'm not wasting it on my body forgetting to have a period. Sorry this turned into a super tantrum rant but i needed to get it off my chest.
 
Hate my body today. I'm in a miserable mood. :( ... I wasn't even actively trying this month and now my body decides to be stupid. I tested on CD 34 with a frer and a BFN!!!! I refused to test again until the weekend. I think I've held onto a small bit of hope that perhaps I may be pregnant. Then the rational side takes over and crushes it. If I were pregnant it would have showed on CD 34. If I was pregnant I would know somehow. Stupid brain. I took a break last month because TTC was so frustrating and annoying with the bfn after bfn after bfn. And it was so stress free and amazing and i didn't even notice I was late for AF until I was already 2 days late. Of course the one month i take a break my body gets all f**ked up and makes me depressed. I know i should test but I will break down if I see another bfn... I'd rather see AF. Plus I only have one frer and I'm not wasting it on my body forgetting to have a period. Sorry this turned into a super tantrum rant but i needed to get it off my chest.

It's actually like you're writing these posts for me. Except I keep testing. And seeing BFN. How long have you been off birth control for/what cycle number are you on?
 
Oh man now I'm CD 1!! AF just showed up. Honestly I'm more relieved than anything. I was sad at first but now I'm just happy she showed up at all. It was driving me mad. I've never had a cycle quite like this one. I've been off birth control for about 4 years but have only been actively trying to conceive since august of this last year making this my 5th cycle actively trying. My cycles for the last four years have been like clockwork though so I don't know what my body was thinking this last month... I'm paying for it now though this AF is already the worst one I've ever had!! So painful and just overall feeling like poo!

I'm still keeping my fingers crossed for you!!! I hope you get your bfp soon!!! :)
 

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