CD1 feeling so depressed.

[Suggerhoney]

Hi ladies.
I came off my mini pill in Feb and have been doing bbt temping and OPKs to track ovulation since I stopped taking it. Im onto my 6th chart now.
We had a chemical pregnancy in April.
Im 40 and hubby is 45.
Af came today so its back to CD1 again.
When we first started trying it was so exciting but now I feel no excitement at all.

I just feel defeated, deppressed and ready to throw in the towel.
I've actually cried today. I feel so bad because I have a lovely almost 10 month old son, but I was so hoping we cud give him a sibling close in age to grow up with becuase there is 7 years between him and our DD.

But im so worried there is something wrong with me and I can't get pregnant any more. Well I can but it dont stick.
Im almost certain I'm having another chemical pregnancy.
I had symptoms from 8DPO and then 12DPO they just vanished. I had a faint pink line on frer at 11dpo but then negative the next day.
My period was also 2 days late which never happens im always on time.

Just needed somewhere to rant.
And didn't know where to do it.

Googled ttc at 40 and it says there's only a 5% chance
We have tried so hard. I dont smoke or drink. Ive gone onto decaf tea and im taking vitamins etc and doing the best I can but I'm still not pregnant.
Its getting to the point now where I just want to give up. It feels like its never going to happen.

Sorry for the rant ladies but I've been so down all day today and just needed to get it off my chest

 

[Bevziibubble]

I've got everything crossed for you hun

 

[Nixnax]

Hey sugger,

Awww bless you hun, just wanna give you a hug.

I've been following your rollercoaster this past week. Have a bloody good cry and get it all out.

This TTC game is not easy at all, it tries and tries you.

Just keep doing what are doing, I really hope it happens for you soon. We're all here for you, so please have a good moan when you need to.

 

[Suggerhoney]

Hey sugger,

Awww bless you hun, just wanna give you a hug.

I've been following your rollercoaster this past week. Have a bloody good cry and get it all out.

This TTC game is not easy at all, it tries and tries you.

Just keep doing what are doing, I really hope it happens for you soon. We're all here for you, so please have a good moan when you need to.

Thank u hon. Thank you so much.
I really hope so to. I feel so upset for womon who have been trying for years with no luck. Ive only been tryjng for a few months and it's already sending me crazy.


Thanks Bev hon

 

[JessaBear36]

Like i said before hang in there suggerhoney your time will come. Some things we can't rush. I'm with ya feeling down about ttc so we only dtd once this cycle. I don't have much hope and wish now I was in the mood to dtd more. Now I feel like I wasted a month.

Good luck sweetie

 

[LuvallmyH]

Sending lots of love and support.

 

[Nixnax]

We've been trying for 3 years now. I've not had a sniff of a BFP. Which I guess is a bit easier. It would be a lot harder if I had seen lines that had disappeared. That would certainly take its toll on your mental health.

Take whatever break you need, get some head space. When AF arrived every month, I would take time away from this site, recoup, then come back when I'm in the TWW again. That helped me a bit.

Hope you feel better about it all soon. Xx

 

[Suggerhoney]

Like i said before hang in there suggerhoney your time will come. Some things we can't rush. I'm with ya feeling down about ttc so we only dtd once this cycle. I don't have much hope and wish now I was in the mood to dtd more. Now I feel like I wasted a month.

Good luck sweetie

Awwww thanks hon. Its just so hard isn't it. I really hope that one time did it for u hon, and u get ure rainbow. Surly we all have to be next for BFPs

Sending lots of love and support.

Awww Luv thank you. Definitely needed, bless ya. I really hope all us lades that are still ttc are next to get our much wanted BFPs and rainbow babies

We've been trying for 3 years now. I've not had a sniff of a BFP. Which I guess is a bit easier. It would be a lot harder if I had seen lines that had disappeared. That would certainly take its toll on your mental health.

Take whatever break you need, get some head space. When AF arrived every month, I would take time away from this site, recoup, then come back when I'm in the TWW again. That helped me a bit.

Hope you feel better about it all soon. Xx

Hi hon oh my days my heart goes out to u hon. Yeah I only got the most faintest line on Frer at 11dpo but I not sure if it was a dud test. But the disappearing symptoms is whats getting me worried this is another early loss.

Only difference is with my chemical back in April I had morning sickness as well.

My cycle after the chemical was stupidly short only 23 days and I Ovulated way to early on CD8 .for some reason my body released a very premature egg so I new i was out then as well from CD 7 when I got a blaring positive OPK. I was devastated and then i had to wait until June, really thought June was going to our month but nope.
And now back to the start again. Its like a visous circle of never ending getting ure hopes up and then having them dashed.

I take my hat of to ladies like u that have been trying for years. Thats inspirational.

I feel a bit mean stepping away from the testing thread I've been there since Feb and given my support and I wanted to carry on because the ladies are so lovely.
And its great seeing people post there BFPs but I cant help but feel a tiny bit envious esp when they have only been trying for 5 mins. Its horrible i feel like a bad person but i just cudnt help the way i felt.
Thats what I meant when I wrote in that thread I dont like the person im becoming.
Its not good to feel that way and it makes me feel like such a horrible person

 

[Nixnax]

I never used to test at all unless I was late, that way, you never see chemicals or evap lines. This month however I'm armed to the teeth with tests and I know deep down that I shouldn't have bought them.

Perhaps only testing if AF is late will be kinder to yourself. It helped me a lot.

I will probably be feeling the same way as you again in a month or so. Testing too often is disheartening hun xx

 

[Suggerhoney]

I never used to test at all unless I was late, that way, you never see chemicals or evap lines. This month however I'm armed to the teeth with tests and I know deep down that I shouldn't have bought them.

Perhaps only testing if AF is late will be kinder to yourself. It helped me a lot.

I will probably be feeling the same way as you again in a month or so. Testing too often is disheartening hun xx

It is. But i don't think i can wait for AF to be late. I normally start testing around 8dpo. I also armed with tests. I think I wud still know if i had a chemical becuase my last chemical made me O way to early.
My normol ovulation is around day 12 to 14 but after the chemical i ovulated on day 8 of mu cycle.
Praying that dont happen again this cycle because if it does ill know then I've definitely had another one.

 

[Nixnax]

It is. But i don't think i can wait for AF to be late. I normally start testing around 8dpo. I also armed with tests. I think I wud still know if i had a chemical becuase my last chemical made me O way to early.
My normol ovulation is around day 12 to 14 but after the chemical i ovulated on day 8 of mu cycle.
Praying that dont happen again this cycle because if it does ill know then I've definitely had another one.

It's funny you should say that. One month last year I had a 18 day cycle, the period before that cycle was a horrible heavy and painful one. I wonder if I had a chemical?? I'd stopped testing all together by that point, so never knew if I was pregnant. That's got me thinking, maybe I ovulated on CD6. Hmmm food for thought if it happens again xx

 

[Suggerhoney]

It's funny you should say that. One month last year I had a 18 day cycle, the period before that cycle was a horrible heavy and painful one. I wonder if I had a chemical?? I'd stopped testing all together by that point, so never knew if I was pregnant. That's got me thinking, maybe I ovulated on CD6. Hmmm food for thought if it happens again xx

U never know hon. Ive never ovulated as early as day 8 b4. The earliest ive O us CD11 and that was when i stopped the mini pill.
Im strating the OPKs tommorow on CD5. Praying none are positive untill after day 12

 

[Nixnax]

I always ovulate cd11-12. This month was cd13 though.

Starting opks now is a good idea, even if you ovulate early as long as you catch it, you have a shot.

I hope this cycle is much kinder to you. Got everything crossed for you xx

 

[Suggerhoney]

I always ovulate cd11-12. This month was cd13 though.

Starting opks now is a good idea, even if you ovulate early as long as you catch it, you have a shot.

I hope this cycle is much kinder to you. Got everything crossed for you xx

Thank you sweety. I have everything crossed for u to.

 

[mimi4]

Hi ladies.
I came off my mini pill in Feb and have been doing bbt temping and OPKs to track ovulation since I stopped taking it. Im onto my 6th chart now.

Googled ttc at 40 and it says there's only a 5% chance

Sorry for the rant ladies but I've been so down all day today and just needed to get it off my chest

In terms of medical issues, Google is one of the worst sources of information. Every situation is individual, and a woman might have perfect test results but experiences problems with infertility. I came across a great number of posts of ladies who conceived naturally when docs gave no chances. Stay positive and enjoy the process

 

[Suggerhoney]

In terms of medical issues, Google is one of the worst sources of information. Every situation is individual, and a woman might have perfect test results but experiences problems with infertility. I came across a great number of posts of ladies who conceived naturally when docs gave no chances. Stay positive and enjoy the process

Thank you hon. I know ure right. Google can really be the devil sometimes.
CD7 now its dragging. Already showing signs O is close and getting worried.
Hoping it holds of until day 12 the ealiest

 

[Nixnax]

Google is the devil, I really wish it wasnt so accessible. Everytime I feel a twinge or a feeling I'm asking the google gods . Darn you mobile technology. How your opks looking @Suggerhoney

 

[Bevziibubble]

Google is bad! It is rarely reassuring

 

[Suggerhoney]

OPKs went positive yesterday on CD8 and also today CD9 but I had a temp rise this morning. That is making me nervous.
Hoping O hasn't happened yet and will happen tommorow or the next day.

 

[Nixnax]

How are they looking today lovely? I'm really hoping you feel the ovulation in the next day or two, a good strong one with a good egg.