chaos!!

[NewMom2be5]

Hey everyone,

I finally told my parents , almost a week ago that i am Pregnant, and they did not react angrily like get out of our house now! but kind of disappointed and worried about insurance related things and such, mainly my mom.....My mom that night early morning she came down stairs cause she could not sleep well from knowing and stressing and emphasized she is not ready for this to happen right now..... (I live w my parents for now, and i am 24 almost 25).....things seemed to be on the down low as far as reactions from my parents, the days that have followed, but today my dad seemed to voice his side more....he came in the house from the yard earlier today, and angrily said he was worried his possible heart issue his doctor told him to get a angio plasty for ,,,and that he is upset i am having 'someones' baby (My Bf of almost six years), they have not always been on the best of terms with him, to make a long story short he is not yet allowed in the house again....and not entirely cause he's a bad guy just, drama over the years....and said kind of harsh things like i am trying to kill him with this new added news.....following knowing he suggested to my mom to tell me to set up a meeting with his parents to come over or something and discuss arrangements and how things will be handled i guess, and he kind of with edge barked at me about how i did not apparently set it up yet and so on.....and later called me stupid for now apparently bringing a baby into the house (months down the line when i have the baby) and i got angry of course and called im stupid back and kind of drew back old feelings toward him (my dad) as far as 'raising' me as he claimed tonight and how they raised me all my life and so on and how apparently now they will be raising me for another 25 years or something crazy. I told them me and my bf plan to move out within the next year or so, and he scoffed and i guess that is too long or i do not know. They were not saying 'leave now' but, my dad is usually the subtle , mild tempered parent and that was shocking for him to act this way. I know he has a right to be upset in his own way or whatever, but that was not necessary , screaming at me and calling me Stupid and so on. Has anyone else had this trouble with their parents,etc? Everyone else in my life , including all my friends, my cousin who's close to me, my bf's sister/and parents are fine with it and supporting us and it is just my Dad.....and sort of my Mom, even though she has turned into the mediator between me and him today and isn't really 'angry' but is dealing in her own way. What should i do?

 

[Babybear1985]

awwww huni im sorry that your going through all of this, it sucks, my only worry is that you are 24 years old and have been with your boyf for over 6 years, to me i dont understand the anger that is being directed at you, its not like your 14 or anything.

My advise would to just stay as calm as you can and let you dad vent all he wants and try to take it on the chin, speak to those who are more supportive about your worries or us on here.
I have no answer for your question apart from having a baby is a natural part of life and something to be pleased and celebrated, there are so many women who cant have their own children and who woould love to so i think you should forget all the negatvity surrounding you as much as you can and enjoy whats happening as much as you can xxxxxxx

 

[zoella]

awww hun, I'm so sorry you had that awful reaction from your parents I was 24 when I got pregnant with my first and had a very similar reaction from my parents. When I told my dad I was pregnant he told me I was stupid and that I should have a termination!! My mum seemed very shocked and a bit upset, but she soon started looking forward to been a grandma! After my dad's very harsh words, I ended up moving in with my boyfriend, because I couldn't be in the same room as him without an argument for quite a while But thankfully by the time I gave birth, he was as happy and and as proud as everyone else was!! I'm sure this will be the case with your dad hun. When I've spoke to my dad since about his reaction, he told me he was just shocked, scared and worried about me. We all act different when we get shocking news and I'm sure as soon as they realise YOU ARE HAVING A BABY!! they will come round and start looking forward to being grandparents. I hope things work out hun, I'm now married to my boyfriend and pregnant with my 5th baby and my dad's reaction to the subsequent pregnancies was very different!! Just remember, your dad is probably worried about you and he will more than likely come round soon once he sees that you CAN cope!

xxx

 

[Babybear1985]

awww hun, I'm so sorry you had that awful reaction from your parents I was 24 when I got pregnant with my first and had a very similar reaction from my parents. When I told my dad I was pregnant he told me I was stupid and that I should have a termination!! My mum seemed very shocked and a bit upset, but she soon started looking forward to been a grandma! After my dad's very harsh words, I ended up moving in with my boyfriend, because I couldn't be in the same room as him without an argument for quite a while But thankfully by the time I gave birth, he was as happy and and as proud as everyone else was!! I'm sure this will be the case with your dad hun. When I've spoke to my dad since about his reaction, he told me he was just shocked, scared and worried about me. We all act different when we get shocking news and I'm sure as soon as they realise YOU ARE HAVING A BABY!! they will come round and start looking forward to being grandparents. I hope things work out hun, I'm now married to my boyfriend and pregnant with my 5th baby and my dad's reaction to the subsequent pregnancies was very different!! Just remember, your dad is probably worried about you and he will more than likely come round soon once he sees that you CAN cope!

xxx

Great Answer xxxx

 

[mas]

He is only angry and confused so he is just expressing those emotions, believe me he will so love this baby, but u need to give him space and time to vent!!

TC

MAS

 

[NewMom2be5]

Thank You Mas, Zoella, and BabyBear1985 for you guys' input ....means a lot. I really hope things pan out with my Dad. He comes from a conservative family so maybe that is why as well.... The parental meeting is still happening and on saturday for lunch either at a buffet or at my house.....even if my BF opposes the buffet saying its cheap and was suggesting other places like Market broiler, or elephant bar or so on.....(The buffets called Hometown)....It is just un necessary drama

 

[Lilly12]

Thats pretty inconciderate of your dad.
He shouldn't say that this is going to kill him etc.. that's just wrong!

However I must say that if I still lived with my mom, she'd probably wouldn't be too happy either.
Because when you have a baby and still live in their house, they're going to have to deal with all the crying at night etc.

Why don't you move out with your bf? You did say you've been with him for 6 years and you're 24!
I think that'll be healthier for everyone.

I don't mean to be mean, that's just my opinion.
Good luck.

 

[libbymarks198]

he is just shocked he will calm down i am sure, and imagine how they feel knowing that in 9 months they are going to have a baby in their house which they will have to help look after, even if you are wiling to do it all they still live there and will have to help sometimes, they will hear the crying baby at night and smell the pooy nappies, so of course they are going to be a bit upset, it is like starting all over again for them.

good luck hun

 

[NewMom2be5]

Thank You Lilly and Libby for responding so far not a lot of drama today cept setting up a meal meeting with his parents. I do not really see a point either, for it because we are grown up and my parents seem hell bent on discussing the baby subject and of course normal topics too....there has been loads of drama as mentioned earlier and its stressful... oh joy....lol