Clearblue Digi and WHY AM I TORTURING MYSELF?

Discussion in 'Trying To Conceive' started by LankyDoodle, Apr 5, 2009.

  1. LankyDoodle

    LankyDoodle Well-Known Member

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    I am almost sick of my own thoughts. I really am. I work such long shifts and I just did a double, meaning I have been away from home for 50 hours. I feel knackered ALL the time. I really don't like my job. I'm just totally pd off!

    I OVd I THINK on CD15 - I had a + OPK on CD14 and was hot and sweaty and crampy on CD15. We only had sex ONCE during that week, on CD12. This was due to my stupid bleddy shift pattern and also on CD14 he hurt his back! :dohh: So all hopes were rested on our double encore on Sunday (CD12). I am now CD26 and something like 11dpo if I'm counting right.

    From CD18 I have been having weird symptoms and I kept telling myself 'don't be stupid, it's not possible this month.' I'd had my coil out on CD26 of the previous cycle and my REAL period came on time, but heavier than I was used to with the coil. During OV week I was taking antibiotics which can cause side effects. I've also had a bit of a cold. So all these things do add up to confuse a woman! Anyway, I got to Tuesday this week (6dpo) and realised the the yellow, jelly-like discharge was still coming and was copious. I had some reddy pink and some brownish spotting and started getting some pains in my breasts which were different to normal (hurt all the time, whereas usually just hurt to touch). The weird taste in my mouth continued. By Friday (9dpo) I was beginning to feel very very tired and a little light-headed at times. I also found I had really bad noticeable, almopst protruding veins in my breasts. Then I got more brown discharge. By yesterday, 10dpo, I was getting even more tired, my breasts hurt like crazy at about 10pm at night but not all day, I had the yellow jelly discharge and also watery gushes at times (which were a little browny in colour). I felt dizzy and stuffed up. At night time the symptoms are worse and cannot be ignored (I tell myself all day that this is not my month, and then at night time I get hit by symptoms that near enough wipe me out). I lie in bed and have a dragging style cramping where my uterus is, and that got even worse last night.

    I went and bought 2 clearblue digis.

    The CB box said you can test from 4 days before. Today is 2 days before my expected period and I used FMU. It came back BFN. A big clear 'NOT PREGNANT'. I STILL have these symtoms, though. And now I have light cramps which I think could be period cramps.

    Why am I winding myself up like this? I KNOW I came off the coil last cycle and my body's natural hormones are replacing the synthetic progestin in the coil. I KNOW my uterus is getting used to the lack of the coil. I KNOW I have been taking strong ABs for BV. I KNOW I have had a cold I just can't shift and could have a general bug. I KNOW AF is due on Tuesday and I could just be premenstrual. I KNOW we only had sex on CD12 and that makes it pretty unlikely I caught. I have TOLD myself time and again that this is not my month. So why do I now find myself at CD26 saying 'you're infertile, you should be pregnant, you had all the signs, you had unprotected sex'?

    A BFN should be enough to tell me that I AM NOT PREGNANT, but I am still hoping. Why do we do this to ourselves? Maybe I am just exhausted by a job where I spend my whole time ducking flying bricks. :(
     
  2. polaris

    polaris Mother of two

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    Ah hun, I feel for you. Work sounds exhausting too and everything seems so much worse when you are overtired.

    The one thing I would say is that Clearblue digis require quite a high concentration of HCG to show a positive and can be quite inaccurate if you are testing before AF is due. Maybe try again in a day or two possibly with a different brand such as First Response Early Results.

    Having said that, on my first month coming off BCP I had every pregnancy symptom under the sun but I wasn't pregnant, whereas the month I got my BFP I had barely any symptoms.

    So don't give up hope yet, but if it doesn't happen this month, just dust yourself off and move on to the next cycle!
     
  3. LankyDoodle

    LankyDoodle Well-Known Member

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    Thank you very much.

    I think you are right. The mirena isn't supposed to have such a big effect on your body, doesn't stop ovulation etc, but at the end of the day, it's a fake hormone all the same!

    I heard that about the clearblue. I do have some FR ones at home, but I think I might wait now. I actually just worked out that I have been calculating the start of my next cycle to be Tuesday; it is in fact due on Wednesday if it comes on time, which it should do as the mirena doesn't have an impact on cycle length (or shouldn't). So I think I will wait until at least Tuesday, if not Wednesday until I use my FR ones. That way I am more likely to get a definite result.

    Thanks again. :)
     
  4. Jolinar

    Jolinar Mummy to Nic

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    Exactly what happened to me too. It takes awhile the hormones to settle in the mean time its a hellish roller coaster, especially the first month. Things will settle down and you will get your BFP eventually. :hug:
     
  5. Mrs Doddy

    Mrs Doddy 1 pink 1 blue

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    :hug: I could have written most of that post myself and know exactly how you feel - I have had loads of symptoms and 5 :bfn: and no :witch: but still think that there is hope every time I have a different feeling and have been off the pill for 7 weeks. Then drive myself insane test and :bfn: :dohh::cry:
     

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