Clingy LO

[Lena]

MIL & FIL were around today and as soon as they walked in the door and as much as said hello to LO he started screaming and was inconsolable til I took him in the other room to calm down. Then when either of them as much as looked at him 'wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh'. After about 20 mins of him sat on my lap, listening to us talk he warmed up to them and let them hold him but only for about 10 mins at a time.

MIL was seriously offended by this. We later went to Starbucks for a coffee and as soon as I took Nate out of his pram I asked her if she wanted to hold him and she said, 'no, your alright, ta'. She's not seen him in a month. How does she expect he'll react to what is in his eyes a stranger.

I wish he enjoyed being passed around and coo'd and laughed at whoever was holding him but he doesn't, and is clingy to mummy and daddy, so I'm sorry. I almost feel like they don't like him in a weird way! They only stayed 2 hours and they haven't seen him in a month. They may not be back for another month after this. They only live an hour away.

Just a vent really. Anyone else's LO like this?

Don't really expect any advice. In a way I feel bad for them that whenever they come around, even if it is after he's just slept 1.5 hours, he seems to be in a mood but in a way i think they expect too much from him.

 

[NuKe]

what did she expect??? my fil doesnt see pops for sometimes a couple of months at a time, and wonders why she wont go to him straight off?!?! poppy is the exact same, i put her on the floor and after eyeballing new ppl for ten minutes odd, she will go to them, but i cant just thrust her at ppl, she'd go mad! i dont think it was fair (or mature) of ur mil to not hold him cuz of this tho! a lot of times she doesnt even want me, only wants daddy! and vice versa. its just the way babies are!!

 

[Lena]

Thank for your reply. I'm wondering if he saw them more often if he would be any different? Anyone has a LO that sees the grandparents a lot and you think that he is familiar with them and knows who they are?

I guess I just feel somewhat sorry for LO because I grew up with lots of family around. 4 grandparents, 3 great-grandparents, 8 aunts and uncles, 15 cousins... all within a few miles of me. DH's parents live an hour away and come once a month, 1 BIL lives in Australia and the other in London and has only seen him once. My entire family is in the USA because that's where i grew up and lived til i met DH. I just feel like me and DH are his only family which makes me very sad. All the more reason I would be soooooo happy if DH got the job he interviewed for last week in America!

 

[Susie28]

MIL & FIL were around today and as soon as they walked in the door and as much as said hello to LO he started screaming and was inconsolable til I took him in the other room to calm down. Then when either of them as much as looked at him 'wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh'. After about 20 mins of him sat on my lap, listening to us talk he warmed up to them and let them hold him but only for about 10 mins at a time.

MIL was seriously offended by this. We later went to Starbucks for a coffee and as soon as I took Nate out of his pram I asked her if she wanted to hold him and she said, 'no, your alright, ta'. She's not seen him in a month. How does she expect he'll react to what is in his eyes a stranger.

I wish he enjoyed being passed around and coo'd and laughed at whoever was holding him but he doesn't, and is clingy to mummy and daddy, so I'm sorry. I almost feel like they don't like him in a weird way! They only stayed 2 hours and they haven't seen him in a month. They may not be back for another month after this. They only live an hour away.

Just a vent really. Anyone else's LO like this?

Don't really expect any advice. In a way I feel bad for them that whenever they come around, even if it is after he's just slept 1.5 hours, he seems to be in a mood but in a way i think they expect too much from him.

Lena- I could have written this post!!

My LO hasn't seen her Grandparents (MIL/FIL) for a month, and we took her to see them yesterday and she screamed as soon as she saw them. We had been shopping, out for lunch, to the park, and she was fine, in a great mood but as soon as we stepped through their door and she saw them she started screaming, and every time they tried to hold her she cried her eyes out. She would only settle with me, and wasn't her usual self. When we left, she started smiling and giggling and was her usual happy self again.

MIL commented that it was because she hardly sees them... well yeah... maybe.... so why don't they make an effort to see her more? I also feel like, not perhaps that they don't like her but that they think she is a whinger (she isn't..she is a happy little bunny usually) and that they blame us for her clinginess for not visiting them more and never leaving her with them

I can't offer advice but I just wanted to let you know that I'm in the same boat. Try not to stress over it; I'm sure our LO's will grow out of it. x

 

[scaredmum2be]

dont they get anxiety at some stage ive done this not just to family relatives but its happened with people who tend to see him all the time ie. my brother one look an lil man is belling is eyes out poor might.
there not scared i think its something to do with anxiety an they like to be with there mummy or daddy x

 

[Susie28]

^^^ Yeah it's separation anxiety A phase x

 

[scaredmum2be]

thats the one. lol. cudnt remember the name lol
Although it seems wierd seperation anxiety cos it happens quickly when u let go of them lol.
Think babies miss us mummys quickly aswell dont they x

 

[Vickie]

Yep Hannah was exactly like that. And she stayed very shy until well after a year. Now she will go to a select few people other than hubby and me (mostly those she has seen on a regular basis, none of which happens to be DH's family ) and my mom (who lives in Texas but she talks to on the phone all the time and she adores my mom)

 

[GypsyDancer]

I kinda wish Zach was a little more clingy
He'll go to pretty much anyone nearly all the time and it makes me sad to think that he doesnt need me for comfort..
Im just waiting and wishinggg he'd start bawling his eyes out for me when OH's mum has him one day..lol twisted or what!
He occasionally cries if he gets handed over to men..our next door neighbour came round and held him he started hystericaly screaming..

 

[GypsyDancer]

Ohh so its a phase?
When did the separation anxiety phase happen for all of you?

 

[Evolution<3]

Ohh so its a phase?
When did the separation anxiety phase happen for all of you?

It starts as early as 6-7 months but is usually its worst around 12-18 months

 

[special_kala]

Your Lo is at the right age for separation anxiety. When river is like that I keep her close until she's got her confidence back.

Dont feel bad your mil should understand that's what kids can be like sometimes.

 

[pinklightbulb]

My LO was never ever clingy or fussy right up until two days ago and he is 11 months. I left him with his 'auntie,' a good friend of mine and OH's, who he saw a lot a few months back but then we lost her phone number and couldn't get in touch until the other day. Well we went round there, and both auntie and I had run out of cigarettes so I left LO with her as I've done before a few times and dashed out to the shop.
Well! When I got back LO was hysterical, screaming, shaking and took aaaages to settle even though I was shushing him and cuddling him and apologising to him over and over. I felt like such a bad mum and still do for it! He's never done that before and he's always been such a sociable little boy-- I wonder if it's because I have stopped BFing him in the last few days that he has turned funny like this actually. Maybe he doesn't feel as secure as he did that I was always going to come back if I left? Anyway, it goes to show that even the most outgoing baby can turn into a clingy one overnight