[[Closed]] Let's ring in 2014 and see those BFP's!!

[RobertRedford]

I may be going out on a limb here, and I may even be out of line-- and I'm fully aware that I will be bitched out for this, But, I will be the first to say that I was offended by the "I want to kill all the pregnant people" comment. And, I'm not even pregnant.

We are on a board filled with pregnant people, and more specifically, a thread filled with pregnant people whom I consider close friends. They are also here to give their advice and support to us while TTC, never to shove it in our faces or make us feel poorly about it.

I understand the hurt, anger, angst and all of the other feelings associated with TTC, MC, loss, etc, but I don't feel that its right to post sayings such as "I want to kill all the pregnant people" or to take your anger out on them, nor should we create a space that makes them feel uncomfortable coming over to the TTC Board, a place that provided them SO much support, love, etc while they were in our shoes.

So, with that, I hope ALL of the pregnant ladies feel just as supported on our boards, as I do venturing into your preggo board. There should NEVER be a time that you feel unwelcome here. I'm going to take a break off BnB once again. This board has morphed into something that it was not and it saddens me. Please feel free to reach out to me via text or facebook.

 

[asmcsm]

Amelia, most of us that are in that preggo thread have been through a miscarriage and know exactly what you've gone through and none of us have had a problem with supporting each other when we someone got pregnant. I got pregnant right after Kara miscarried and Nikki announced her pregnancy the same day or within a day of my miscarriage and none of us made each other feel bad for finally reaching a goal that we'd been trying for for a while. We understand that you are upset and hurt, we've been through it! We try to be supportive of you guys as much as possible but it's hard to do that when you basically say you hate us for being pregnant when we've gone through a lot to get here, including exactly what you're going through now. Mirolee has gone through SIX YEARS of TTC and a miscarriage and she should never have to feel guilty for finally being successfully pregnant, absolutely NONE of us should have to feel guilty. We are all here because we had the common goal of getting pregnant and most of us dealing with the struggle or a loss. While we do try to keep most of our pregnancy comments in the preggo thread, these two threads have been connected the entire time and we try to come over here and support as much as possible but occasionally something having to do with pregnancy is going to trickle in.

 

[HWPG]

i think it's completely reasonable to separate the announcements and milestones and scans and anything pregnancy related. i think it's completely valid to feel like you dont want to read that when you come here. and i think it's reasonable to ask the pregnant women to perhaps be a bit more conservative and use the other thread for those things.
that being said, if people who are pregnant post in here, things like their tickers and signatures will show up. again, i think most of us would say we're sorry if those things hurt you, or you feel as we're somehow throwing it in your face. we are not. we are celebrating how far we've come. and when you ALL get there, i *cannot tell you* how wide open our arms will be to receive you. but i dont think we need be ashamed of our healthy pregnancies either. it hurt me so much, for six years, to see all those words flashing in my face. i think many people would agree; we've had dates pass us by that should be celebrated differently, but are not.
it sounds like people would like to keep the threads open; if your heart is hurting, and you dont want to open "babymamas" - trust me, i get that. i cant tell you the times i cried while reading over there. and babymama people, i propose that we try to keep our pregnancy stuff in the other thread. does this sound like a good compromise for people? and, to finish, my heart goes to each of you. my heart weeps for you. and i cannot wait for those tears to be ones of joy, because i *do* believe it will happen.

 

[VivianJean]

I didn't say i wanted to kill pregnant people - to clarify I was saying I feel like killing myself because I'm struggling the pregnancy updates..

I really enjoy the support from the preggo but it's hard, very hard when I see milestone announcements (not the tickers)... I'm happy for you... but like BB said the other day - this should be her 12 week scan... and I'm acutely aware of all my (former) milestones.

Or perhaps I'm totally out of line and letting my depression getting the better of me and for that I apologize.

But for those of you who are pregnant who have lost... and tried and failed... you telling me not once before you got pregnant, while you were struggling you ever thought, wow, I just wanted to come here to get some support and I've left feeling 110% worse than before I logged on.

If I was hanging around the pregnancy thread - no worries, my bad... but I'm here and trying and trying and trying to be ok and get through today, let alone tomorrow...

I do consider you friends. Perhaps if you knew me IRL you'd know I'm direct and I'm sorry if I was too direct for you. I'm trying to be honest and typing in a vacuum can lead to short-hand.

 

[brunettebimbo]

Literally. Pregnant people make me want to kill myself right now.

I think this is the quote you mean. Amelia didn't say she wanted to hurt pregnant people

Amelia, I totally get how your feeling and I promise you the anger will go, I hit anger hard and you pulled me through just how all these girls will with you, your friends. We are all here to support you.

Pregnant girls I am really happy for you and I don't wish anything but good things for you all.

Some days are harder than others. Some days I feel strong enough to read Babymamas and some days I don't. I like catching up on all your announcements when I'm feeling strong I have however recently felt that a lot of the pregnant women have pulled away from us. There's times I've posted and been totally ignored. It seems like Pregnant VS TTC and I don't like it You girls have all been amazing and I'm so glad I found this group. I feel like I've made some amazing friends and I can't wait for these horrible TTC days to be over for all of us.

Big hugs to all

 

[asmcsm]

Amelia, we all know what it's like to think about your milestones that you should be reaching and aren't. And even once you get pregnant it's hard not to think of those things. December 28th was my would have been due date, and yes, I am so happy and grateful to be pregnant again, but that doesn't make it any less difficult to think that I could be a mom right now, this very second. And you know what, I NEVER felt worse coming to this board after my miscarriage because everyone here supported me, including the pregnant women, and you know what, even though I did lose my pregnancy, I was still happy for them because I know that the people here are all deserving people that have gone through so much or are still going through so much to get pregnant. And I had my share of days coming on here and being pissed off at all the baby/pregnancy updates on fb from people that I know weren't trying or I know don't deserve or qualify to be parents, but I was never mad that anyone here got pregnant. Honestly, this group had no issues with anyone getting jealous until it got so big which is why we created the pregnancy thread. And I feel that we are all pretty respectful of you guys and try to keep our posts about our pregnancies here to a minimum. But it's getting really hard to continue to support someone that blows off our comments or makes comments that make us feel guilty for being pregnant when we've been where you are and never did that to anyone else when they got pregnant.

]Edit:
Also, if you happen to get pregnant again, how can you expect any of us to want to welcome you back to the pregnancy board and support you when you've been very obviously un-supportive of our pregnancies despite us trying to support you through a miscarriage ...just something to think about

 

[TTCaWee1]

Wow. This is exactly why I unsubscribed about a week ago. Just had to come back to read what all the fuss was about. And honestly I knew before I even clicked the link. I will not apologize for being pregnant. You post things and I have posted suggestions. It took me a long time to get pregnant. And I too am "old." You act like you are the only person to have had a difficult time or gone through a miscarriage. I haven't experienced a loss but it sure as fuck was hard to get PREGNANT. I have other things that I would LOVE to express but I'll hold those feelings in bc in the end it won't make a difference. So I will go back to my preggo thread with my bangin body and beautiful bump, and if any of you supportive people pop in then we'll talk. Till then, peace the fuck out. Again.

 

[asmcsm]

Literally. Pregnant people make me want to kill myself right now.

I think this is the quote you mean. Amelia didn't say she wanted to hurt pregnant people

Amelia, I totally get how your feeling and I promise you the anger will go, I hit anger hard and you pulled me through just how all these girls will with you, your friends. We are all here to support you.

Pregnant girls I am really happy for you and I don't wish anything but good things for you all.

Some days are harder than others. Some days I feel strong enough to read Babymamas and some days I don't. I like catching up on all your announcements when I'm feeling strong I have however recently felt that a lot of the pregnant women have pulled away from us. There's times I've posted and been totally ignored. It seems like Pregnant VS TTC and I don't like it You girls have all been amazing and I'm so glad I found this group. I feel like I've made some amazing friends and I can't wait for these horrible TTC days to be over for all of us.

Big hugs to all

BB, I agree. That is why we created that thread. So that you guys can pop over when you're feeling up to it. But it's been the case the whole time that sometimes things about pregnancy do get mentioned in this thread. And frankly, it's SO MUCH less than it used to be. And the reason that it's come to feeling like Preggos vs TTC is because most of us aren't feeling welcome here anymore. We try to make supportive comments and share things we did to help TTC but we usually end up feeling like we're getting blown off or feeling guilty for being pregnant, which IS NOT okay. This board started of with an incredibly supportive/accepting group of women and now that environment seems like it's fallen apart.

 

[clynn11]

I honestly have been pulling away from this group. I try to be supportive and cheer you all on. But I also have many times wrote a massive post with positive things and get completely ignored. Or I will say something positive, and someone else says basically the exact same thing as I do. The other person gets 'thanked', I do not. I know that's something SO little and petty but it really does hurt my feelings and makes me feel unwelcome or like I should just stop saying things altogether. I just want everyone to be back the way it used to be. All supportive of each other, throughout everything. It may be the hormones but I am literally crying over the lack of support and negativity I have come across. I am so, so truly sorry for those who have experienced losses. I am sorry if me being pregnant makes you feel like you want to kill yourself. That makes me feel guilty as fuck, when honestly, I shouldn't feel guilty. I do NOT post about my pregnancy over here, unless a question is directed towards me. I try to be 100% supportive and cheer you all on. I would just like the same in return.

 

[HWPG]

well, FWIW, i'm still 100% on this board. every day i think of all of you - even though i'm horrible with names. VJ, BB, STG, nichole, RR, katrina. it's like a dance, and we've mis-stepped, but i'm hoping we can pick up where we left off. if you ask, we'll let you know what's coming up (scans or appts or whatevs). if you dont, we wont. and feel free to post all the frustration of ttc and cycles and that, 'cause everyone here understands. but maybe less about harming oneself or others. no one wants anyone to do anything like that.

 

[frsttimemama]

I have no issue with the pregnant ladies posting in here. I'm excited to hear how things are going for you all!

. I understand the hurt and the sadness. It sucks. It will get better though. I think we all have good days and bad days. Is a good day is well outnumber the bad days. I know that's not what you want to hear, but its true. I hope things get better for you soon.

 

[jury3]

That's why I quit posting over here as well...and I don't think having a banging body is important in life and it's rude to say that preggos don't have banging bodies. That was pretty uncalled for. I love my body right now, it is quite "bangin" thank you!
Good luck to all you ladies, I only wish happiness for you.

 

[frsttimemama]

I'm sorry those of you that are the other board feel like you're unwelcome here. I can only speak for myself in saying that I really appreciate the advice and encouragement.

 

[brunettebimbo]

I'm sorry those of you that are the other board feel like you're unwelcome here. I can only speak for myself in saying that I really appreciate the advice and encouragement.

Same

 

[brunettebimbo]

Has anyone else had a funky ass dip early in their chart but not actually ovulated? My temperature has never dipped that low before.

Morgan you said you had. Did it only happen one month? Was it a normal cycle etc?

 

[clynn11]

BB- I had my temp dip really low one month, go back up, and then dip back down again for real O. I attached my chart for that month. FX you O soon darling!

 

[brunettebimbo]

Thanks Hun

I was hoping I was ovulating early. Hubby is on call from today for a week so will be knackered all week which makes BD difficult!

 

[clynn11]

You could definitely be O'ing as well! You may be a slow riser like me. My temps took like 2 to 3 days to finally shoot up after O. That's why FF always frustrated me! It would usually give me the wrong O day by a day or two because of my slow rising temps! Lol

 

[frsttimemama]

Can you try for at least every other instead of every single day?

 

[brunettebimbo]

Yeh we will try. Can't be helped I suppose!

Cassidy mine are usually quite slow at rising too. My cervix and CM hasn't been the same this month either. So weird!