Co-Sleeping

[tverb84]

Would anyone or has anyone here co-slept with your child or children? I don't think I would do it because it seems pretty unsafe to me and I would worry about suffocating my child by rolling over on them. I'd rather have my child sleep in a bassinet in my bedroom after they are born. Does anyone else feel the same way?

 

[apreslaube]

I would not technically co-sleep. I'm horrified at the thought of doing something where I could kill my baby in my sleep. You are never more tired than when you have a tiny baby that wakes you up every hour. I want a "co-sleeper" though - the tiny bassinet sort of thing that attaches to your bed. It's like a safe version of co-sleeping.

Obviously not the same thing, but I refused to "co-sleep" when I had a little kitten, and made sure my mom did the same. She was only 4 weeks (we rescued her from a family that took her from the mom too soon and tried to feed her cows milk from a bowl...) so she was quite fragile. If I wouldn't risk hurting a kitten I certainly wouldn't risk hurting my actual human baby.

BTW the kitten is now an adult cat, healthy as a horse. No one thought she'd survive!

 

[apreslaube]

BTW congrats on your weight loss! I want to get to 130 too but from a far amount larger "before" weight

 

[kailynn]

I have coslept with my 8 month old since the day she came home and will be switching her over to her crib before a year. It's not for everyone but it works for us. When her dad is home I sleep between them both since a mother in naturally more aware of where her child is and her dad moves a lot, when he is gone [or now that she is older] she sleeps in the middle. Also makes it easier for night feedings as I breastfeed and all I have to do is give her the boob and back to sleep.

 

[Mintastic]

Just FYI, Technically any sleeping arrangement with baby/child in the same room as you is considered co-sleeping and has the benefits of co-sleeping such as reducing SIDS risk/regulating breathing etc...
The situation you are describing is bed-sharing. Which is just one form of co-sleeping.

 

[Caite]

I plan to have baby in the same room as me, in a crib right next to my bed, until baby is at least 6 months old (as per the current NHS advice), but probably longer, as I'm hoping to breastfeed and it'd just be far easier than having to go to another room. I don't think I could bed-share out of fear of suffocating the baby.

 

[Pearls18]

Co-sleeping is one of those topics quite hard for women who haven't had children to understand not meaning to sound condescending but I know it does, I remember thinking "OMG why the hell would I ever do that, it's so unsafe, what if I roll on baby, the baby will just sleep in a Moses basket" so naive, I actually did it for a short while with both my 2. Not all babies just sleep where you want them to sleep. Babies are programmed to WANT to be next to mum, google the fourth trimester. Co sleeping can be very safe, there's a safe way of doing it and those who do it properly reduce their chances of SIDS, it's a very misunderstood topic.

As a breastfeeding mother co sleeping was very natural, I actually personally didn't like doing it as I like my own space, but it was where my son felt safest and slept best when he was very young, I had a co sleeping cot so he was inches away from me but if he wouldn't settle all I had to do was put him next to me and he would fall asleep instantly, being next to their mum is their safe place, they can smell her, feel her, hear her. There are safe positions to sleep and not suffocate baby and BF mums are very intune with their babies, I am normally a very fidgety sleeper but when my son was next to me I wouldn't move a muscle- I would wake up with cramp! You sleep very differently when BF it's all down to the hormones. I personally wouldn't feel safe sleeping with a very young baby if I was FF but that's my own opinion.

They have to keep advice very generic to simplify it, it's better to tell everyone not to do it than get complicated explaining how to do it safely and risk sending mixed messages to those who are higher risk, my MW actually suggested me to do it as she knew my situation. That said it may not be safe if you're formula feeding, it isn't safe if you've drank, taken drugs, or smoke, I didn't do it with DH in bed as he wouldn't have been in tune. I would say it's something to keep an open mind about, it was something I didnt want to do either time but had to, it's very important if you do do it to research it.

Of course lots of mums haven't felt the need to co sleep and may feel just as strongly about it as they did before, but it is a topic I very frequently see people changing their mind about.

Definitely research fourth trimester.

 

[spicyorange]

I think it's a contentious issue they a lot of people have string views about. Personally is not for me, I think it's risky and I think that babies are better off in their own cot. But each to their own. I'm adeimemt my child's will never sleep in my bed even as a child add I think it's a bad habit that's tricky to break, my mum was very strict on that with me and I will be the same, not for everyone but I think you have to make your own rules and decide which ones you are prepared to compromise and which your not.

 

[misspriss]

I planned to put DS in a sidecarred crib (so technically cosleeping, but not really bed sharing). That lasted about 5 nights. The poor tiny little bub would inchworm his swaddled body towards me ALL NIGHT. I brought him over to bed with me after that and we haven't looked back.

DH works different schedule than me, and after a while he moved to the guest bed until recently. DS is old enough now he sleeps between us, so I can slip out in the AM and go to work without waking either of them.

Like a PP said, before he was born I was so wary, that is why I wanted a cosleeper attached, not in the bed with me. Seeing how that affected DS changed my mind.

 

[Noodlebear]

It works for some people and not for others. My personal feelings on it are that it's a nice, convenient thing for breastfeeding mothers to do but I never bed shared because I don't think I'd ever feel particularly safe doing that. Thinking about it makes me feel quite uneasy. Deep down I know I could've safely done it when I was breastfeeding if I'd wanted to as my milk was very much in tune with my son so we often woke together, if we didn't as soon as he woke me I could feel what time it was lol. I wasn't able to breastfeed for long and we switched to bottle feeding. I wouldn't have had him in bed with me then, I just don't think that's safe.

 

[tverb84]

Just FYI, Technically any sleeping arrangement with baby/child in the same room as you is considered co-sleeping and has the benefits of co-sleeping such as reducing SIDS risk/regulating breathing etc...
The situation you are describing is bed-sharing. Which is just one form of co-sleeping.

Yeah I meant bed sharing. Maybe I'll change my mind about it when I have children.

 

[staralfur]

I was against bed sharing before I had my LO...

We ended up bed sharing for 10 months. In the early days it was either sleep with her in bed with me or not sleep at all. I'm not exaggerating.

Something that for some reason goes mostly unmentioned before you have children is that lots of babies do not want to sleep alone and need close contact/access to boob to fall and stay asleep.

 

[LogansMommy82]

At first I had my DS bassinet right next to our bed but as a few days past I found co-sleeping so much easier as I was breastfeeding and bubs would wake and I was right there to feed him. We have co-slept since and he is almost 2. My DH works 3rd shift and 6-7 days a week so I don't mind at all. When DH has a day off my DS sleeps in his toddler bed which is next to ours, well at least till early morning when he crawls in bed with us. We are currently working towards moving him to his bedroom as we are trying for #2 and thats kind of tricky with a toddler in our room haha!! I found that even since day 1 I was very aware of myself and where bubs was I was very protective over him when DH was in bed with us in the earlier days.

 

[ttc bubby no2]

I didn't think I would do it before having children but with #2 he was pretty much in our bed from the first night as I felt like the cradle next to the bed was too far away! I felt much more rested during the newborn stage compared to #1 who I had to get up out of bed for and would sit up in bed feeding. With #2 I would just help him latch then go back to sleep, he also didn't have to cry much as I would instinctually know when he wanted milk.

 

[babybambi]

My son slept in a Moses basket at the side of the bed.when he awoke for feeding I just sat up and fed him then rocked him back to sleep.if he stirred or got upset I just reached out my hand and placed it on him which calmed him straight away.unfortunately his long legs would only permit him 3 months in A basket and he transitioned to his cot pretty easily. And from 8 weeks he slept through 6pm to 6am.i was always terrified of rolling on to him or suffocating him.plus I REALLY like my own sleeping space and even now it's murder when my now two year climbs into bed with us and takes over!

 

[Eleanor ace]

I never thought I'd co-sleep but that's what we ended up doing most of the time until DS was 9 months old. He was a very poor sleeper and I was so sleep deprived that I was scared I'd fall asleep and he'd fall off my lap while I was feeding him or he'd end up smothered by getting stuck between me and the feeding pillow. My HV recomended bed sharing (he had been in a moses basket next to our bed) and gave me leaflets on how to do it safely. I was nervous but I was a lot more aware of him when he was in bed with me and it felt a lot safer, plus we both got more sleep which felt amazing.

 

[tverb84]

What's a moses basket?

 

[spicyorange]

What's a moses basket?

A crib made of wicker basket material

 

[tverb84]

I'm not sure if we have that here in Canada.

 

[spicyorange]

I'm not sure if we have that here in Canada.

They are generally what people here use before they have a cot.