Cold feet

[spicyorange]

so iv wanted this baby for years and now we are finally approaching the time when we start TTC and im wondering - how do you know when it is the right time. for all this time til now it clearly hasnt been - but is now the right time - or is next year or later...? for the first time im dithering one half of me screams NOW NOW NOW and theres a bit of me for the first time, now its becoming real that says...uurm actually maybe we should wait a bit more. so heres where we are;

1. married 3.5yrs - together 8yrs
2. just bought our first home 4 weeks ago - moved from rented to a new house which is family size.
3. both working full time - OH looking for a new job..but has been looknig for over a year with little sucess, my job is secure but comes only with SMP not CMP (so the basic rather than any extra) - there is little chance of this changing anytime soon, both jobs are decent wages and we could afford for me to cut down to 3 dasy a week after mat leave (dont give me a lecture i have no intention of giving up work all together even if i could afford to)
4. fair amount of credit card debt but reducing each month and could afford to repay minimums if on ML
5. im 26 (nearly 27) & OH is 35.
BUT
if we waited...

OH could have a new job (better pay)
i might have a new job (although unlikey) - with CMP
we whould have less debt
..but its all maybes...
so i dont know - january 2014, mid-late 2014 or early 2015? should i shop dithering and get on with it?

iv been on the pill 8 years and never missed one but recently i keep forgetting - its like my subconcious is trying to trick me into getting preg now (iv only totally forgotten 1 - as i always double check later that i actually took it) but i dont want it to be an accident - even a deliberate-accident!

has anybody else got close to TTC date and started to get cold feet?

 

[patienceiav]

Me me! It seems to take turns, we're unofficially NTNP this month with the plan to TTC next, we've been waiting a year and now we're BD'ing post BCP I'm suddenly panicked, are the pieces are in place, is now the right time? But it's overcome by the sheer joy and anticipation, my body sends me off after my hubby when it feels like it I think my last bits of worry are due to my job but I think that i will snap out of it soon, we have all our necessaries ticked off the to do list so I don't see why I should worry it feels a huge difference from waiting and longing vs the very real possibility of getting a LO soon,

You're not alone

 

[Mrs HM]

Me! I think it's totally natural though...it'd be strange if you didn't question such a huge life-changing decision.

I went round the houses when ttc#1, but once we actually got started ttc, and each month it didn't happen, it became the only thing I wanted in the whole world.

We are about to start ttc#2 and I'm still thinking of waiting, then in the next breath bringing it forward!!! There is never a right time, but having my DS is the best thing that's ever happened to me/my DH so I don't think it's something you'll ever regret. I only regret waiting so long!

 

[HappilyMrs]

I am feeling the same way over here. TTC in just 6 weeks and I'm having cold feet too. I've decided to just not think about it. Go forward with our plans knowing that if we don't I will regret it in the long run. I am 25 this year and I don't want to wait any longer to have a baby. Deep breaths and a leap of faith!

 

[spicyorange]

as its TTC #1 i think part of the fear is the 'what if it doesnt work!' :S and part is actual reality of being a parent.... (sleep deprivation terrifies me!)

 

[HappilyMrs]

as its TTC #1 i think part of the fear is the 'what if it doesnt work!' :S and part is actual reality of being a parent.... (sleep deprivation terrifies me!)

HAHA Sleep Deprivation doesn't last that long... that I can remember at least haha. Everyone worries it wont work. Even having my first, the second I'm not sure if it will happen right away. Parenting comes to everyone naturally, it's the best thing ever!

 

[su_grad2007]

I definitely have my moments of cold feet and it really is a leap of faith. I think that is completely normal. Having a baby is a huge and life changing event, even when it's something you really want, it is totally ok to also have fear about it.

 

[PrettyFlowers]

Yes, me too!

I think it's totally normal. It's life changing and irreversible, so of course we will be apprehensive

 

[Tigerlily01]

Yes, totally normal. At least I hope so, because I get cold feet all the time, lol! Surprisingly, OH never does. Must mean he's gonna be a great dad, right? =) =)

 

[RainbowDrop_x]

I'm in the same boat as you and it's 100% natural. We're WTT for #2 but I keep thinking "what if now isn't right", our DD was a happy surprise so there wasn't any time for dithering and pondering but now that we're actually planning this time I'm having a lot of self doubt.

I think I can honestly say that if DD was planned I probably wouldn't have any children now. Not because I don't want them but because I would always find a reason NOT to go for it IYKWIM?.. There's never a right time to have a baby, there will always be a situation that causes you to think it could be improved e.g finances but on the other hand there's always a possibility that they can't be. I think what we all need to do is just get pregnant, have babies and fit the rest of our lives around it

 

[wombat1]

I just had a conversation with my sister about all the traveling we want to do and things we want to see so cold feet here too right now! But it will pass...

 

[tverb84]

I believe having children happens when you're meant to and not a moment sooner.

 

[catty]

We have just recently had a baby 9 weeks ago andwhen i was pregnant we had only been in our house a month and we both were on average wages. Had we waited possibly my OH would have got a better job and we could have painted / decorated and bought nicer furniture before he was born.

However im 100% glad we decided to just go with the flow, we didnt have great savings but we have enough money to pay for everything we need but arent living a luxurious life.
You just make it work with what you have. Think about it in 2 years OH might not have a better job, you might get bored and splurge on an expensive holiday or something crating more debt.

If you want a baby i think aslong as use are able to provide for that baby then go for it

We really want baby number 2, im a very brroody person all the time haha but for us weve decided we actually should wait as money wise wed struggle with 2 children if i couldnt get maternity leave ( dont think id be able to get as wouldnt have worked long enough)

 

[itsnowmyturn]

Count me in but I am only 3 weeks and 6 days away (or when cycle kicks in after that) but I no I won't put it off. Always reasons not to ie finances etc but one thing I do to test what I really want is think about not being able to and immediately I realise that it is what I want and the nerves are fine its just ur mind making sure ur ready and not looking at it thru rise tinted glasses

 

[Amalee]

I feel the same way. We've been talking about this for years, and I have never wavered or second guessed trying once I'm this far along in school (I'm due to finish up about 5 weeks before baby would be due if we conceived this month), and yesterday I had the first twinge of doubt. It's like it never even occurred to me that waiting longer could be a good decision at all! I'm definitely happy and excited that we're NTNP, but it's kind of scary too!

 

[MummyJade]

I am too in a scared worried state... My 1st wasnt planned so I just got on with it... But actually planning another im more scared then my unplanned one... I think its just normal to worry about money is it right time... But is there ever a right time.... My daughter wasnt the right time but she was the best thing to happen to me and i wouldnt change it x