Complications

[Peanut112]

Not sure if this is the right spot to post this. Right now I feel as if I need a friend, someone I can talk to. Since nobody else seems to understand.

I'll be 20 soon, engaged to an amazing guy... and I've never felt the need to have kids, ever. Up until a few months ago. The thought of wanting to have a baby has taken over every other thought, I literally cannot stop feeling the need to become pregnant. Honestly, this feeling is so strong that lately it is making me incredibly sad. I feel as if I'd be the only one to want the baby due to my age and whatnot, or what if I can't or what if something happens.. I don't know how to stop feeling like this but I'm pretty sure I'm ready. I've talked about it with my Fiance and he does want to have one with me, after having some deep discussions in the beginning of the relationship about "What if" and that A word. The topic was brought up quite often and the conversation and decisions went back and forth but now we've stopped at a "its going to happen sometime soon" and I couldn't be happier with his support in this. The thing is just waiting for it to happen.

Lately I've been super irregular, the cramps are worse. I'm ready to puke, my mood swings are terrible and I hurt everywhere. (THE NEXT PART IS A BIT GRAFFIC, SKIP TO THE NEXT PARAGRAPH IF YOURE SQUEEMISH) I was bleeding so bad I would be over flowing a super tampon in 2 hours. I would stand in the shower for a long time waiting for everything to stop. It'd be like someone is squishing a water bottle and everything is just squirting out in a hurry.

I went for a pee test and a blood test and everything came out fine, I wasn't pregnant or anything. And then I went for an ultrasound a few days ago, I haven't got any news back so I'm assuming that there's nothing alarming? I'll be phoning tomorrow just to make sure.

It saddened me to think that I wasn't pregnant, but the good part is that im not pregnant and I don't have to worry about my baby being in trouble if I'm having all these problems. Then my mother in law told me that she had the similar thing happening to her and they did some sort of Balloon therapy thing and could never have kids again. It still bothers me to think that there may be something so wrong that I can't conceive. Lately I'm worried, so I hope I get some sort of news. I hope my hormones are just out of wack and that it's fixable with some hormones.

We haven't been using any sort of contraceptive for the last 2 1/2 months. The more I bleed, or get "negative" results back the more upset I get. I see all my friends conceiving lately, or even having their kids and I'm truly happy for them but I also feel at a loss..

Maybe I just need more coffee.

 

[Ohbaby2015]

I'm so sorry to hear your story! I totally get the urge... I have not tried to concieve yet, but I worry if I can't get pregnant too. I think as women, infertility can be one of the hardest things. I hope you can figure out what is going on

 

[EmmySocks]

Ah poor you - sounds like you're having a rough time.

What sort of contraception were you using before? I think it's pretty normal for things to be messed up for a bit when you come off or change what you are using. It's good that your doctor is looking into it, but fingers crossed for you that it settles down on it's own.

As for feeling super broody, I know exactly how you feel. I had my own pregnancy scare in September and when i found out i wasn't, i was devastated. And i've pretty much had crazy babyfever ever since! If it helps, I also am terrified that for some reason i might not be able to have children, i regularly worry myself about it which is pointless. i guess there's only one way to know for sure.

I hope you get some helpful results from your doctor and feel better soon. xxx

 

[littlesteph]

understand that feeling, hubby and I tried 2 years for our eldest, every month it got harder and harder to control and hide how hurt I felt that it hadn't happened, my sister (wasn't trying) and a friend of mine both feel pregnant with in months of each other and as happy I was for them it was so hard to watch them go through their pregnancies and have their little ones for me to still not have fallen pregnant. I had a blood test to test my hormones which came back normal, hubby sperm test result came back normal as well. we were told to try for another year. my doctor wouldn't help us because we were under 25 didn't care how long we had been trying.
I remember breaking down at work because a customer had come in with their new born baby, I had just suffered an early miscarriage, my supervisor had to ask what was wrong. no one knew I was pregnant other then hubby, so she was a bit taken back by it.
that feeling of wanting to have a baby doesn't go away when its that strong until you finally get to hold your baby for the first time.
I know that's not what you want to hear, but its true, wanting a baby is such a strong desire you cant just stop that feeling.

 

[Peanut112]

Darn, was kind of hoping that feeling would go away.. as if it were just a phase.. Guess I have to wait! I constantly have dreams where I'm pregnant or have already given birth. I'm moody and nauseous, I've thrown up a few times. (The bleeding stopped completely Friday morning, btw. Just out of the blue) .. Seriously a rude joke if I'm actually not pregnant. Part of me is skeptical about the doctors results....

I used depo about 4 years ago and that made me bleed for 9 months straight :/ so I switched to Yaz and it worked at least! I feel better now that I'm off of it though.

 

[Peanut112]

Just an update. The results are back from the ultrasound... I have some sort of calcification, apparently it's nothing to worry about but I'm scared O.O