Confused.com

[Tam]

HELLO...

Well, I never expected to be in here, and tbh I have no idea whether I should be but I didn't know where else to post it.

I am absolutely loving having Alfie and our little family extending.......and I don't want to be too much older by the time we have completed our family, so one half of me really wants to jump back on the wagon and try again, then have a rest for a year or 2, but then there is the other half of me that wants to make sure I get plenty of time with Alfie and he gets all the attention he deserves......I am so confused and have no idea what to do!

Also before I got PG I was just getting over an accident I had the previous year and now with the SPD and lack of exercise I have done during my pregnancy with Alfie I feel I should maybe get fitter before trying again as I have been immobile for the best part of a year and a half and have gained weight in that time, then the pregnancy on top too

Well we have BD at the start of what could possibly be the start of my fertile time (so we were told) but I am not planning to do anymore BD, I think if we have caught (having no idea if I would have truley been fertile myself) then brilliant, my mind is made up, if not then maybe I should lay off a bit to get fit?

I just needed to air that and get it off my chest......see Paul was adomant he didn't want us trying for 2-3 yrs due to mt SPD and the physio's advice on it, but I have won him over as there was no way I was waiting that long, I would llike another as soon as possible!

So we can TTC again as soon as I am happy, I just have to get my head sorted and listen to my head rather than my heart I think, or do I ERGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH?!

HELPPPPPPP Any thoughts on it?....I know it is a personal decision, but what are your thoughts, tbh I would fall again tomorrow, but I am not sure if that would be ideal physically rather than anything else :S

 

[Imi]

I fell PG VERY quick ... and i had the PG from HELL with maddie, this one not been great but i know it will all be worth it in the end.
Like you said hun it is personal choice but im glad because i think it will be nice for the kids to grow up together close in age.
I decided i didn't want to get fit and lose all my baby flab just to put it all back on again when i had another so it has worked out quite nicely really!
It's up to you what you do hun as you and only you will know if and when you are ready ...
Best wishes and good luck!
Imi
xxx

 

[LynnieH]

Definately a personal choice. Because i was going back to work fultime and the cost of child care I decided to wait until Jonny was in school bfore i had my second. If I wasn't working i would have had them closer together. I think it's a case of how you feel about it. You will have time to enjoy each other once the littlies have gone and you won't be old grandparents!

 

[Cat]

TBH after the problems I had with my last PG with Noah with him damaging my tailbone and the spinal headache, Iwas told to wait a couple of years (which I havent) and Ihavent found these things have caused me any problems at all. IHad the attitude of not wanting to work my arse of trying to get back in shape, if Iwas only going to get PG again a year later. I wanted to get the first 2 out of the way close together. Personally I have liked leaving a short gap between, and I have always had this in mind when bringing up Noah, making sure he can be independent and able to amuse himself instead of spoiling him so he doesnt notice a sudden change in attention when the new baby arrives. Its generally advised that its best to have either a gapo of less than 18 months or over 4 years, that way they are to young to get jelous, or old enought to be more involved in the care of their sibling. So Idont think you need to feel bad about wether it will deflect attention from Alfie, as he would be likly to take it better at a young age then when he is terrible two's and getting Jelous. Its more a question of how you feel physically and if you feel you can go through it again just yet.

 

[Trinity]

I agree with Imi that maybe it will be best to have another and then try to get back in shape after .. then you wont have to do it twice .. lol

I personally want to have my children close together coz me and my brother were very close in age and we have always been really close. Think it must have been because we were at the same stages at the same time.

Again though it is a personal decision but think you really do have to weight up the physical aspect of it too.

Good luck hun, whatever you decide to do.

xxx

 

[KX]

Close together Tam, go for it!xx

 

[Suz]

I have never been pregnant so I may not be the best advice giver for this, but I think I would atleast wait 6 months maybe even a year. Give your body a chance to recover and spend some time with Alfie! But Im sure that what ever the choice is that you make, the ending will be the same....Another bundle of joy!

 

[Wobbles]

I agree with Suz - Like her we speak a lot an my thoughts come soley from that! I personally think from our friendship you need a break Tam! Sorry x

 

[bexxie]

Tam

I agree with Suz and Wobbs (and this is for a physical reason as well as emotional) I think given your age you can easily afford to give a years break between Alfie and the next. I think it will do you good in so mnay ways to take this break.

You are not old hun you in the prime right now of your life.

You think I am 31/32 this year and me and Dave said if this goes well and not too hard then we will have another 7 year age gap! Can you believe that and that is with knowing I will have to go through Amnio etc but hopefully no other probs like this pregnancy.

Only YOU know the answer to what you have asked above,I think deep-down it is there in your gut and just follow that sweetie,if you have 'caught' this month then hey! It's meant to be,if not then you can then take the option 2 or try again.

Whatever you decide hunnie it will be for the right reason. I think you shoudl listen to what your lovely fella says he knows better than anyone and is one in a million that bloke!

You take care and dont worry.

bex

 

[Layla]

i think you should go ahead and try now then get it after, i persoanly think there isnt much point in getting fit, then loseing all your hard work to a pregnancy.

Its your choice and you have to do what you feel is best.

xx

 

[Imi]

Have a couple of months rest hun ... but have a chat with OH.
Only the two of you will know if your ready as a couple and as a family.
Good luck with everything ... only you can make this decsion and i belive there is no right or wrong answer.
xxx

 

[Amanda]

We've been actively trying for another since Charlie was born, and I am absolutely gutted that he is 6 months and I'm still not pg.

It is definitely a matter of personal choice hun. I had a 13 year gap between my first 2 , and I wanted less than a year between the next 2, but it's not worked out that way. My age is against me though, so we need to get in there quick!! I had severe SPD with Charlie, and I know it will be extremely hard when I do get pg again, and I have an awful mum-tum, which is really getting me down. But, these are tiny little things in comparison to bringing another little person into this world. Lets face it - the SPD should not kick in until about 20 weeks at least, then I will get an early section at 37 weeks, so thats only 17 weeks of agony for a lifetime of love!

When is AF due for you hun? I think for your sanity you need to know.

 

[Tam]

Hi Amanda,

I have no idea when AF is due before being pg I was due around the 25th of each month with a 28 day cycle, but obviously I have not had one since having Alfie, so I have no idea where I am?

With the last pregnancy I had hyperemesis which kicked in at week 9-10, and only disappeared within the last week, week 11 the SPD kicked in and lasted til last week, week 13 I had a threatened MC and bled for 3-4 weeks.....it was no fun on the whole, but when I felt OK, I loved being PG

I think given the fact I have been immobile for the best part of 18 months I think it really would be wise to wait a bit and enjoy my time with Jade and Alfie.....it would only take one hour of pain with the SPD and I think I would go insane it is nice feeling human again, so I think we will wait for a bit and just enjoy life as it is for now

Thank you for all of your opinions girls, they really did help as you have been with me thru out the pregnancy so you have an idea of what I have been thru!

Tam x

 

[Wobbles]

I'm so glad you are taking a break Tam tbh an all for the right reasons. Get a bit of you back first & enjoy your little family that will soon extend.

Hair down a little first huh?

 

[ImTheDaddy]

I'm so glad you are taking a break Tam tbh an all for the right reasons. Get a bit of you back first & enjoy your little family that will soon extend.

Hair down a little first huh?

Oi Wibble!!!

Hands off my sex life!!!! (If you'll pardon the pun!!!)



I defo would prefer to wait a couple of years for the next one but TBH if she fell then so be it.

I am quite easy really! In every sense

 

[Suz]

Well I for one would like to have a drunken 3 way with Wobbles and Tam and
Tam cant do that preg. So I for one am glad you are waiting!






(heehheee) DIRTY PEOPLE...Im talking about a chat on MSN....Get your heads out of the gutters.

 

[ImTheDaddy]

Well I for one would like to have a drunken 3 way with Wobbles and Tam

SHAME!!!

 

[Suz]

 

[Tam]

you nutters!!

OK sold, I will be up for a good old drink next weekend (as this weekend I will still be on antibiotics )

Bought time I had a good old drink and a giggle with you girls late at night again......is it a date girls? x

 

[Wobbles]

Well of course Paul but if it's not too late already put his warmer on goodness sake

As for the rest of this thread I didn't get chance to read it