considering giving my baby up for adoption

[stephanie20]

hi,
basically I am 20 years old and 17 weeks pregnant, i got pregnant by my ex boyfriend who was abusive, controlling and got me into a lot of debt, i don't know whether its my hormones but some days I really want this baby and others I don't.
I don't know whether I should adopt my baby out, I am unemployed so will be bringing it up on benefits, I want it to be given the best chances in life and I don't think it being with me will do that
I do want this baby but on others I don't, I think it will be better off without me :'(

 

[abbie1992]

i dont think you will ever really know until your baby is born, but if you decide to you can always be happy and content knowing your giving your baby the best life and making someones dream come true xx (dont rush into anythink) i dont think anythink could be harder x

 

[beccad]

It must be such a difficult decision to make. If you do decide to give your baby up for adoption there's lots of lovely couples out there just waiting for such an opportunity to become parents. Bear in mind that your life as it is now isn't how it'll always be, if you know what I mean. There's opportunities out there for everyone. You won't always be living on benefits if you decide to keep your baby.

Best of luck with whatever you decide

 

[stephanie20]

its because of the babys daddy as well i think he'll make things really difficult for me and the baby
if i don't let him see it (its because i'v recently found out hes a drug dealer and he sells to 14 and 15 year olds girls as well as other things, hes 20) when its older the baby will know who its dad is and my ex will probably just say "well i wanted to see you but your mum didn't let me" and then the baby will hate me
if i do let him see it i don't know if the baby will safe or if he'll even try and turn it against me, i really don't know what to do :'(

 

[abbie1992]

if you explain to your child when it is old enough your reasons were more simply to protect them and the type of person he was (is) im sure they'll understand afterall you will be his/her MUM also i am currently on benefits but in full time education i know it wont be forever and my children never go without and are so so happy

 

[stephanie20]

thanks abbie
i just don't know how hard it will be when the babys here and i really don't want it hating me when it gets older for not having a dad in its life

 

[abbie1992]

my oldest doesnt really see his dad and i only allow him to see him when his mum is with him i dont trust him and he is also known for taking drugs

 

[Groovychick]

Your LO won't hate you hun. You are protecting your baby and that's what matters most.

 

[Mrshoffie]

I could not give up my baby. If you think the baby will hate you for having no dad, just think how they could feel not having you either.
It's a massive decision - not one to take based on fob being a prat. Huge arguments either way, there are probably loads of people desperate to adopt a newborn. But this is your baby, and only you can make that call. Have you got family/friends support? Perhaps you should share your concerns with one of them...
(good luck xxxxxxxxxx)

 

[stephanie20]

i've just been getting messages off the father of the babys cousin asking why i wont let him know whats going on with his baby when hes made no effort to contact me about it at all :/ i have tried to get in contact with him 3 times to ask if we could be friends for the sake of the baby and each time hes fobbed me off :/
i don't want him doing this when the babys born because the baby won't understand i'm doing it for his/her own good

 

[v2007]

I have no advice sweetie but any decision you make will be for your little one.



V xxx

 

[abbie1992]

i dont believe your baby will feel like this if he is as bad as he sounds, he will give up easily. even in the unlikely cirustance that my baby would feel anythink against me i would still do the same as protecting him/her would be far more important and like i said i let ashley see his dad when other people are there but not on his own maybe this is worth a try and if theres not someone in his family you truly trust be there yourself if he actually cares at all he will exept this

 

[littlelinnies]

this is a very hard descion to come to! i dont think you should rush into anything because your hormones are prob all over the place! i think its best you dont contact the babies father if its upsetting you and just leave the door open!
remember its not always about money! i mean i know you need money to look after a baby, but even on benfits you can give your child a good life.. and like others have said, that wont be forever.. when the childs older you could perhaps go to work. its something you will have to really think about, when you hold your baby in your arms you may simply never want to let go...xx