Constant worry

[PurpleMama]

I am 17 weeks pregnant. I lost my first pregnancy at 10 weeks last year.

With the exception of a small subchorionic hemorrhage, this pregnancy is progressing well and the doctor is pleased with the baby's growth this far. It's just me that's constantly worried. If I feel a pain or if I don't feel anything at all. I spend like 80% of my time wondering if my baby is ok. Is he alive? His heart beat ok? He the right size? Am I giving him enough of the right foods?

I think after the first loss I'm just incredibly scared. Is this normal or am I losing my mind? How can I stop this?

 

[newlywedtzh]

Girl... welcome to the club. Have you ventured over to Pregnant after a Loss at all? I've had 3 early losses before this pregnancy and the anxiety was out of control. I also have had a completely different and so far so good pregnancy (small SCH that resolved itself before 8 weeks) but I still worry all the time. It all came to a head this weekend and I had a mini freak out on Saturday. Since then I've bought a few self-help books about worrying, joined a prenatal yoga class and really I just have to not think about the pregnancy at all! I know that sounds weird but.. I just have to distract myself and let time run its course. There is no possible way to cope with an imaginary future that we create in our heads that doesn't exist. You will deal with whatever comes IF and when it happens. (These are things I keep telling myself). I have just made the decision to buy an at home doppler for those really anxious moments. Maybe consider one? I've heard mixed things if it makes you more or less anxious but I wanted to see for myself.

Hang in there- our babies will be here before we know it!

 

[Linnypops]

^^ what she said I had a loss, first trimester spotting and pain etc. I can tell you it'll get easier after 20 week scan but not loads, it only really improves like pp says - when you take your mind off it. A Doppler is very handy. When you start to feel movement is even better. I can't imagine I'll be entirely happy until my baby is born, but I just try and get to each milestone and reiterate the facts to myself x

 

[dairymomma]

Def pop over to the Pregnant after a loss forum. We've all been thru it and know what you are feeling.

As for coping with the anxiety, you could see if your doctor is willing to see you sooner for reassurance. I got to see my dr every 1 1/2-2 weeks from 6 weeks to 15 weeks and he'd either use the doppler to find the hb or did a reassurance scan. It made me feel SO much better. Also as the previous poster said, dopplers can bring peace of mind too. I'm one of the ones who opted not to get the doppler but LOTS of ladies on here absolutely loved them. And you aren't that far from feeling regular movement so once that starts happening, your anxiety should ease a bit.

If it's getting overwhelming, then don't be afraid to talk to your doctor about it. They can recommend a counselor or therapist to talk to (my go-to when my anxiety is too much), offer techniques to help calm yourself down (breathing exercises and such), and even prescribe medication if you feel you need it.

Good luck and I hope you start feeling better soon.

 

[Literati_Love]

I have had to deal with a lot of worry this pregnancy as well after having an m/c this past July. I really thought the worry would go away after the first tri, but sadly I still wonder if my baby is dead. It is a scary place to be in and I am hoping my 20- week scan will help set my mind at ease. Anyway, I don't know how to make the worry go away but I do understand!

 

[tryfor2]

It's only natural for you to be worried. And honestly, even a textbook pregnancy in a woman who has had no losses produces worry. It's unavoidable--there are just so many things that can go wrong and so much blind faith involved. (Up until you feel regular movement when people ask how the baby is I have to basically shrug bc unless I've just had a scan, I don't really know.) I'm prone to anxiety, which got worse during pregnancy (all the hormones don't help). It also didn't help that I happen to know a lot of people who had horrible things happen while pregnant (death, stillbirth etc.) which made me think about those things all the more. There's no magic pill that can take the worry away. And to be honest, this is only the beginning--once the baby is born and you think you're in the clear it starts all over even more intensely and you start obsessing over SIDS and car accidents etc. Welcome to parenthood! But if the worry is keeping you up at night or interfering with your regular activities, do seek help. It is very normal to worry however. You aren't the only one! Try to relax as much as you can and remember that the VAST majority of babies are born safely and healthy. I'm sure yours will too.

 

[newlywedtzh]

https://www.babycenter.com/0_surpri...d=preg_2_20140320:3&pe=MlVFM2VyeHwyMDE0MDMyMA..

Baby center sent me this article this am and it was kind of reassuring (this is stats from the United States- I don't know where you are located but either way it should help you feel better!)

4,055,000 babies born every year in the US!! That is a lot of babies!

Also this was comforting

The preterm birth rate declined in the United States for the third straight year to 12.18 percent of births

12.18% doesn't seem that scary as I know now that I'm in the 2nd tri, other worries start to kick in like pre-term labor