Coping with worry

[Mrs B.]

Any advice on coping with worry about miscarriage? We've been trying for over 5 and a half years with one CP IVF in 2013, then a surprise BFP in June last year which ended at 5-6 weeks. I found out 2 days ago we have another surprise BFP (just over 4 weeks, already had some spotting) and I can't stop worrying that it'll end in miscarriage!

I worry when I have cramping, then I worry when it stops!!

 

[saraaa]

I don't think the worry stops until you have the baby, I worry when I have cramps and then I worry when I don't, I worry when I wake up and have no sore boobs lol.
With my son I had a really full feeling in my lower abdomen, this time I don't so that worries me as well.
I had a miscarriage at 5+3 before my son, and I'm 5+3 today so I'm scared history is gonna repeat itself especially as I've woken up with no sore boobs today as well!
I found out 2 weeks ago tomorrow, so I've already had 2 weeks of worry as well haha

Just take each day as it comes and remember today you are pregnant xx

 

[Mrs B.]

Thank you I'm the same... last time (MC) felt a heavy, full feeling in lower abdomen and this time don't. Ugh, I hate this worrying! Hope all goes well for you xx

 

[Yo_Yo]

Congratulations on your rainbow baby.

I also had a loss last summer in July. The worry when I found out I was pregnant this time was huge.

Definitely just take it day by day, and try to keep busy with fun things. It definitely makes time go faster.

 

[Mrs B.]

Hi Yo_Yo! I remember you were around last summer... so sorry to hear about your loss. Congrats to you too! I definitely need to find a hobby that will distract me. Feels like it's been weeks already and it has only been 48 hours. Sigh. I'll feel a bit better if I make it past 5-6 weeks and a lot better after I have a scan, whenever that will be.

 

[Yo_Yo]

Thanks. X

You will feel better after your scan-when will you have one? You're also right about it getting easier when you pass the point of the miscarriage, that's a big deal.

I booked a scan For 7/8 weeks this time. Was stressful but such a relief, so worth it.

 

[Mrs B.]

I've not yet rung the docs... I had spotting like my period was starting then when it never came I tested and got my BFP, but I haven't quite come to terms with the idea that a miscarriage isn't imminent. I might see if I can speak to the doc I saw in June and see if she'll let me have an early scan. Xx

 

[Ragnhild]

Hej Mrs B... congrats on the rainbow . As for worrying, i'm the same. When i didnt have MS i worried, when the bloat went away i worried, with each tiny twinge i rush to the toilet and check everything is ok. The advice to take each day and keep yourself busy is worth trying. Apart from that OH was worried about what i was doing to myself and found some support groups.. apparently this is very common in the 1st tri no matter how many PGs or problems you have been through. Now i keep myself busy with work or read and watch inspirational things to stay positive. It doesn't sound very nice but OH was quite practical and told me there is nothing i can do either way when it comes to the baby and what will happen will happen, but what i could do is to stay positive and happy coz that will affect the baby and i'm trying to do just that. Praying for you to have a H&H 9 months and hope the 1st tri flies by!!

 

[Mrs B.]

Thanks, Ragnhild. Congrats to you too! At the moment my biggest problem is symptoms lessening which is causing panic... that's what happened at my last MC. The symptoms disappeared completely so every time I think the symptoms are disappearing I fear the worst. Gotta keep myself distracted!

 

[Ragnhild]

Ya completely understand mrs b... i freaked out when the bloat was gone, or i didnt have MS. But now i've understood that symptoms coming and going are normal. So sorry about your loss, and symptoms going must be harder for you, but it happens in normal pgs too... you have to believe it and have faith. I'm sure there are ltttc support groups who can really empathize with your situation and offer you hope. Keeping you in my prayers!

 

[Mrs B.]

Thanks, Ragnhild

 

[xdxxtx]

I've had 4 perfect pregnancies, and I'm now 16+ weeks along with my 5th. Even with having a bunch of perfect pregnancies under my belt, I still worry alllllll the time. For me, I keep feeling like I'm pushing my luck here. How many successful pregnancies can I have before my luck runs out? You know what I mean? Anyway, I just try to keep busy throughout first trimester. I always have first tri spotting, and it always scares me. I do lots of research, play games, binge watch TV shows, read books, make lists of baby names I "love" and also baby names I "hate" and even baby names I think would sound hilarious with my last name. (My last name ends in -er, so I like to match it up with first names that end in -er and see how funny they sound.) Whatever I've got to do to fill up my time so I have less time to worry. I even read these "funny" websites like ParentsShouldntText and FML. I'm sorry that I don't have a better answer, but this is what works for me. I hope everything goes beautifully for you. I can't imagine how scared you are after trying so long and having so much heartbreak.

 

[Ragnhild]

Hi xdxx... love your keep busy ideas. Can you pls post the links for the sites you mentioned?

 

[Mrs B.]

Thanks, xdxxtx. It's helping to be reminded that I'm not the only one worrying! I love your name game! Assuming all goes well, we're going to have a rubbish time trying to find a name to go with our surname (a bit like Monica from friends... "nothing goes with Bing!") I'm going to go and check out those websites... that's just the sort of procrastination I like! Congrats to you and H&H 9 months to you too

 

[xdxxtx]

Hi xdxx... love your keep busy ideas. Can you pls post the links for the sites you mentioned?

www.fmylife.com and https://www.parentsshouldnttext.com/

They're stupid-funny.

 

[red_head]

I'm going to follow, hope that's okay? Not even pregnant yet but still terrified for when I do get there!

 

[Mrs B.]

Of course I hope you get your BFP soon xx

 

[bobbillina]

I am pregnant with my first as well and I wasn't aware for a few weeks when I was drinking and partying kinda hard (xmas/new years). Here I am at 11 weeks and my first appointment is FINALLY coming up next week. I am constantly worrying that I'm going to get my ultrasound and see no heartbeat or something like that. I am still feeling symptoms (although some not so strongly anymore), and especially today I am feeling short of breath and somewhat lightheaded.

I haven't even announced that I'm pregnant to a lot of people because I'm afraid to jinx it. I had an old co-worker who had several miscarriages before having her daughter, so that thought is ALWAYS on my mind, even if it is unfounded.

I agree with having distractions, if you can get really involved in something (either a hobby or a show, etc), it really helps to keep your mind off of it. I'll probably be binge-watching New Girl this weekend to pass the time, lol. Good luck!

 

[Mrs B.]

Good luck for your u/s next week! That seems so far off to me at the moment. Don't worry about the drinking and partying. Many people have successful pregnancies and they've been drinking at the beginning or all the way through. I'm pretty sure that the baby isn't getting much from you in the first few weeks anyway so far only hubby and one friend know I'm pg. I'll tell family when I've had a positive u/s, but I'll probably leave telling everyone else until I can't hide it anymore! I'm going to search for a TV show to watch