Kristina76
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Hello all,
I am a mother of a 4-month-old boy that I worry about. My partner is not very supportive and actually insists that I am suffering from postpartum depression and that there is nothing wrong with my son. However, he spends very little time with him so he wouldn't know. The pediatrician is dismissive of my concerns. I live in Canada, and it's hard for us to get an evaluation, we need to fight the system and to convince the pediatrician to get a referral.
My pregnancy was uneventful, except for 2 choroid plexus cyst in his brain. I had a very difficult delivery - several days in latent phase labour, then they had to induce my labour, break my waters and finally use a vacuum to deliver my son.
For the first three months he had severe reflux, which he is growing out of. He smiled at 1 month, was smiling a lot at the age of 2-3 months, started laughing at 3.5 months, grabbing and holding his toys, then rolling over from back to front, always using his right side, and even somewhat crawling once he hit 4 months - but he crawls with his right leg and drags his left leg behind. He sleeps through the night with no training on my part. So far so good.
When he turned 4 months, he stopped smiling spontaneously - he just gives me a blank stare. I can still get him to smile and laugh, but I have to work hard for it - bounce him or tickle him, make funny noises, or sing, and it does not happen every time. The same with other people. He makes good eye contact when I bottle-feed him (his suck was too weak, and my milk supply dwindled when he was 3 months old) and he can make good eye contact when I sing and play piano while he is sitting in his bouncy chair - but that's about it.
He has always been independent while playing with toys (he only brings them to mouth, doesn't shake rattles or anything of sorts). He loves tummy time, actually sleeps on his tummy, doesn't stay longer than a few minutes on his back but turns over. Well, I can get on the floor next to him, can hold a toy next to my face, make noises, etc. - he looks at the toy past me, he does not make any eye contact with me. The only way I would get him to look at me in this situation is if I start singing - he looks up, give me a very quick smile and turns away. If he is in his stroller, he stares at me and at others with a completely blank expression. He makes noises but it's more self-talk than directed to others, he started making occasional noises like "da" and "ga", but in general he keeps quiet and does not respond with cooing when I or someone else talks to him.
He likes a variety of toys and constantly chewing on them. When he was 3.5 month old, he smiled at his mirror reflection. A month later he stares at it, tries to touch it, then either yells at it or makes an angry face and turns away. It's almost as if he stopped trying to make social overtures at all. He used to smile at his plush toys - not anymore, now he treats them as objects. He can sometimes smile at random things - at my pillow or at a tag on his clothes.
He has never turned to voice - although he may turn when I am singing or if there is a loud noise. He likes watching people but does not seem to initiate any social interaction. I find out that he has had a bowel movement only because he turns and starts looking at me without making any kind of noise, then I know it's time to change him.
Both my partner and myself have larger than average heads. He was born with his head in 25th percentile, but there was lots of swelling after a vacuum-assisted delivery, then at 2, 3 and 4 months he measured in 15th percentile consistently. His head started growing once he hit 4 months - it already grew 1.2 cm in 2 weeks, and I am worried.
There are some glimpses of better functioning - just a week ago he had a spontaneous rare smile directed at a woman who entertained him with bouncing the day before, so obviously he recognized her and smiled at her. He also seems to recognize his surroundings.
My heart is heavy. I am on mat leave until my son turns 1 year old, then I have to go back to work, otherwise we will have nothing to live on. My partner will not be able to support us and he has very limited time to spend with my son to begin with. English is not my first language - I hoped that my son will be bilingual, and was planning to enroll him in a Russian-speaking day home, so that he would learn English later. However, people who run this day home are not familiar with special needs, and I am not sure what would be the best solution for my son. Obviously, he must learn English, too, if he is to live in Canada.
I just bought Dr. Greenspan's materials online, and am planning to order Early Start Denver model manual to work on this stuff at home, as much as I am able to. My pediatrician won't even talk to me about his possible delays until my son is 9 months old for language, and until he is 18 months old for autism.
Could you give me your thoughts or any advice? I regret that my breastfeeding did not work out and that I stopped co-sleeping with him. I was overwhelmed with his reflux - I am his primary and only caregiver - so I was happy to see that he was playing with toys independently and did not try to engage him more often (even though I have read to him, sang to him, played with him every single day - but I let him have his tummy time on his own.) Now he can spend up to several hours playing independently - if I let him, that is, which I don't, I try to engage him.
I am a mother of a 4-month-old boy that I worry about. My partner is not very supportive and actually insists that I am suffering from postpartum depression and that there is nothing wrong with my son. However, he spends very little time with him so he wouldn't know. The pediatrician is dismissive of my concerns. I live in Canada, and it's hard for us to get an evaluation, we need to fight the system and to convince the pediatrician to get a referral.
My pregnancy was uneventful, except for 2 choroid plexus cyst in his brain. I had a very difficult delivery - several days in latent phase labour, then they had to induce my labour, break my waters and finally use a vacuum to deliver my son.
For the first three months he had severe reflux, which he is growing out of. He smiled at 1 month, was smiling a lot at the age of 2-3 months, started laughing at 3.5 months, grabbing and holding his toys, then rolling over from back to front, always using his right side, and even somewhat crawling once he hit 4 months - but he crawls with his right leg and drags his left leg behind. He sleeps through the night with no training on my part. So far so good.
When he turned 4 months, he stopped smiling spontaneously - he just gives me a blank stare. I can still get him to smile and laugh, but I have to work hard for it - bounce him or tickle him, make funny noises, or sing, and it does not happen every time. The same with other people. He makes good eye contact when I bottle-feed him (his suck was too weak, and my milk supply dwindled when he was 3 months old) and he can make good eye contact when I sing and play piano while he is sitting in his bouncy chair - but that's about it.
He has always been independent while playing with toys (he only brings them to mouth, doesn't shake rattles or anything of sorts). He loves tummy time, actually sleeps on his tummy, doesn't stay longer than a few minutes on his back but turns over. Well, I can get on the floor next to him, can hold a toy next to my face, make noises, etc. - he looks at the toy past me, he does not make any eye contact with me. The only way I would get him to look at me in this situation is if I start singing - he looks up, give me a very quick smile and turns away. If he is in his stroller, he stares at me and at others with a completely blank expression. He makes noises but it's more self-talk than directed to others, he started making occasional noises like "da" and "ga", but in general he keeps quiet and does not respond with cooing when I or someone else talks to him.
He likes a variety of toys and constantly chewing on them. When he was 3.5 month old, he smiled at his mirror reflection. A month later he stares at it, tries to touch it, then either yells at it or makes an angry face and turns away. It's almost as if he stopped trying to make social overtures at all. He used to smile at his plush toys - not anymore, now he treats them as objects. He can sometimes smile at random things - at my pillow or at a tag on his clothes.
He has never turned to voice - although he may turn when I am singing or if there is a loud noise. He likes watching people but does not seem to initiate any social interaction. I find out that he has had a bowel movement only because he turns and starts looking at me without making any kind of noise, then I know it's time to change him.
Both my partner and myself have larger than average heads. He was born with his head in 25th percentile, but there was lots of swelling after a vacuum-assisted delivery, then at 2, 3 and 4 months he measured in 15th percentile consistently. His head started growing once he hit 4 months - it already grew 1.2 cm in 2 weeks, and I am worried.
There are some glimpses of better functioning - just a week ago he had a spontaneous rare smile directed at a woman who entertained him with bouncing the day before, so obviously he recognized her and smiled at her. He also seems to recognize his surroundings.
My heart is heavy. I am on mat leave until my son turns 1 year old, then I have to go back to work, otherwise we will have nothing to live on. My partner will not be able to support us and he has very limited time to spend with my son to begin with. English is not my first language - I hoped that my son will be bilingual, and was planning to enroll him in a Russian-speaking day home, so that he would learn English later. However, people who run this day home are not familiar with special needs, and I am not sure what would be the best solution for my son. Obviously, he must learn English, too, if he is to live in Canada.
I just bought Dr. Greenspan's materials online, and am planning to order Early Start Denver model manual to work on this stuff at home, as much as I am able to. My pediatrician won't even talk to me about his possible delays until my son is 9 months old for language, and until he is 18 months old for autism.
Could you give me your thoughts or any advice? I regret that my breastfeeding did not work out and that I stopped co-sleeping with him. I was overwhelmed with his reflux - I am his primary and only caregiver - so I was happy to see that he was playing with toys independently and did not try to engage him more often (even though I have read to him, sang to him, played with him every single day - but I let him have his tummy time on his own.) Now he can spend up to several hours playing independently - if I let him, that is, which I don't, I try to engage him.
At 4 months Claire didn't really do that much either, but neither did any of my friend's kiddos as well. I know it is SO HARD but try not to worry about it. Which I get is frustrating to hear, as parents we want to know what's going on right off the bat.
