Could this be karma? :[

[ilovecheese]

I gave a little girl up for adoption when I was 17. I went on to have two more children in my twenties with my then husband, both were happy accidents. Ex and I broke up and now I have been TTC for 11 months with DBF- cycles are more irregular than they've ever been, he has low motility, count, high viscosity [poor liquefaction].

We don't have the money for any expensive treatments, as our insurance doesn't cover any of that. He doesn't have a child of his own.

Sometimes I feel like all this is some sort of karmic retribution or "payback" for giving up my daughter... like I don't deserve another child because I "gave one away".

I don't know what I'm looking for; just a place to vent I guess. I am not bragging at all, but getting pregnant "on accident" three times [my two sons were condom babies], and now I've been trying and trying and all these hurdles keep popping up... I just don't know what else this could be.

Thank you for letting me get this out. I'm just having a rough day.

 

[moomin_troll]

i dont have any advice what so ever but im sure u gave up ur daughter for good reasons and it wasnt like u just dumbed her on the side of the street, im sure u did what was best.

i wish u luck with ttc and hope u get ur bfp very soon x

 

[ilovecheese]

I did what I believed was best for her at that time... I was single and in no position to give her the best life.

 

[moomin_troll]

I did what I believed was best for her at that time... I was single and in no position to give her the best life.

just because u gave her away doesnt mean u dont deserve another baby, sh*t happens and the most natural thing in the world can take years.

dont beat urself up x

 

[lace&pearls]

Maybe it just one of those things that happens over time, I mean when you first fell pregnant that was 11 years ago.. that's a long time, perhaps your body isn't working quite the way it used to (not that I'm implying you're old at all!!)

Also I very much doubt you made the decision of adoption lightly, in fairness you carried a child for 9 months and went through the painful process of giving them up for adoption for the child's sake, personally I think that is very selfless.There are probably people who in your position would have chosen other options possibly for more selfish reasons.

Also there are plenty of people who don't deserve children but manage to have them.

Fertility problems affect loads of people, so I don't think it's a karma thing, I have fertility problems and I'm only 21 and have never had children etc. so just goes to show it can affect anyone.

I hope this helps in some way, and wish you lots of baby dust xxxxx

 

[puppymom32]

Hun please dont beat yourself up. I agree I think giving your daughter up was a very tough choice for a 17 year old and you were very mature about it. I am considering adoption and so thankful that people like you care so much for their child to make that choice. Hope they can determine what is going on and with your DH's issues it sounds as thought it will just take longer. Best of luck to you.