CoWorkers Driving me Crazy

Discussion in 'Miscarriage Support' started by italianlady14, Oct 10, 2013.

  1. italianlady14

    italianlady14 Active Member

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    Okay, I just need to vent. I miscarried (6 wks, blighted ovum, first pregnancy) weeks ago. This week is my first period since the m/c and of course this week my hormones are intense and one coworker is whining about his new baby keeping him up and while the other one talks about his daughter in law about to give birth anyday. ALL I HEAR is baby talk. I told the coworker with the newborn about my mc, so he knows but isnt very sensative, but I work with all men....most have kids and families...but I know they won't understand and asking them not to talk about it I fear makes me appear wimpy. I am an engineer and I do my best to prove I can "hang with the guys". But man, I just want to scream at them to shut up. I can't take it. We can't try for another two months and its going to be such a long, frustrating wait for me. It is a long and frustratin wait. And I cant handle the newborn talk. Kid talk I can take, it hurts a bit, bt nothing like hearing about how someone else has an easy first pregnancy and I lost mine. I just dont how much I can take, butI just don't want to tell them. Sigh. I dont know how anyone gets past this. Everytime I think I'm okay, something makes that pain fresh again.
     
  2. Mellymel

    Mellymel Well-Known Member

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    Italianlady - I am so sorry for your loss and the insensitivity of your colleagues. Would you feel comfortable telling your boss? Then your boss can let everyone know, in a diplomatic way, to keep their comments to a minimum? It's been 3 months since my D&C and I thought I was over it but everyone around me seems to be pregnant or having babies and I find it is still a sensitive topic for me. <<HUGS>>
     
  3. Topanga053

    Topanga053 Well-Known Member

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    Italianlady, I understand the need to feel like you can "hang with the guys." I'm an attorney and while my office has a lot of female attorneys in it, the profession as a whole is still male-dominated and, for obvious reasons, requires a good deal of bravado. Being emotional or complaining about emotional pain isn't something that I feel is compatable with this career. Especially as a young female attorney, I feel sometimes that I need to overcompensate to prove that I'm strong and can compete easily in this field.

    That said, you also need to feel comfortable in your work environment and your co-workers are being incredibly insensitive. If you can avoid being around for those conversations, I would. If that's not possible, I think it's probably worth it for you to have a conversation with your co-workers. You can spend some time thinking about the best way to phrase it, so that you don't worry about sounding "weak" (I don't think that's the case at all, but I can understand why you're worried about their perception). For what it's worth, I've found that non verbals are so important in situations like this. If you project confidence and non-chalance (good posture, strong voice, etc), your co-workers will probably pick up from your body language that you're strong, even if what you're saying is conveying pain.

    Whatever you decide, good luck!
     

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