Crying it out doesn't work!

[hyperchord24]

I have a 19 month old who is at that age where she gets up every two hours. We also have a 3.5 year old who, when she was that age, cried it out and it's been more or less smooth sailing.

However, with the next one, she would cry in her crib until she figured out she could climb out! The crib is on its lowest setting. The crib can't get lower. So, we put the crib mattress on the floor. We shut the door if (when) she got out of bed. This also worked for our older one when she got a big girl bed and figured out that she could get out of bed. However, with this one, she immediately bangs her head against the wall when we shut the door.

I feel trapped! She will never learn how to go to bed and she's been up every two hours for the past two weeks! I want to run away and get a hotel or something! Help! I'm desperate!!

 

[CMarie]

My son is 19 months old too . . tricky age! Have you tried using white noise? We have a fan in my son's room that really helps a lot as it covers up any other noise if I'm cleaning, etc. Does she have a consistent bedtime routine? Nice calming bath, maybe a baby massage with lotion, etc. You could try giving her a snack before bed too. I usually give LO one about an hour before bed . . something heavier like oatmeal is really good

 

[kellyfc]

Oh wow. I agree with CMarie. SOmetimes white noise can help. Our daughter sleeps with a fan in her room every night. She doesnt sleep well without it. Infact it stays on all the time so I dont forget to turn it on.
I have heard little success with the crying it out method. I've heard all sorts of negative statements. I do believe that some kids will benefit it but yours obviously doesnt. Have you tried the method that is similar to the crying it out. The controlled crying method. Worth a shot. I dont know how well it would work for a 19 month old, but we were having a lot of difficulty with our daughter not sleeping at 6 months. and she would only sleep on me (so her associations with sleep were only set to sleeping on me) and when she would have a bottle she would take less than an ounce at a time. Anyways, my point was since she was six months old and we did this she has slept through the night every night except twice when she was sick. She is now 13 months old. Just a thought. It worked for us. It may not work for you, but who knows. I know that crying it out can be very difficult on both parents and babe.

 

[Mum2b_Claire]

YOU feel trapped? Your toddler will be feeling that too! Why not sit beside the cot or bed not engaging with her but just being there until she falls back to sleep. And try the white noise suggested by others. Parenting is a 24 hour job and this is obviously a tricky phase for you both, fingers crossed it doesn't last long. I firmly believe there are no quick fixes with sleep and tackling it gently is best for all long term. And believe me I don't have a good sleeper!

 

[_Vicky_]

^^ I agree - CIO isn't good IMO.

Sit with her giving her reassurance - Fynn was like this at 18 months I cuddled him to sleep and it worked - also get a stair gate for her room a lot kinder way of containing her without shutting her in.

 

[georgebaby1]

i did controlled crying with my lo when he was 10 month and he tests us every now and again other than that hes great i think you need to carry i through once started as not fair otherwise pm me if you want to vent x

 

[_Vicky_]

^^ CIO is different to CC though

 

[suzib76]

YOU feel trapped? Your toddler will be feeling that too! Why not sit beside the cot or bed not engaging with her but just being there until she falls back to sleep. And try the white noise suggested by others. Parenting is a 24 hour job and this is obviously a tricky phase for you both, fingers crossed it doesn't last long. I firmly believe there are no quick fixes with sleep and tackling it gently is best for all long term. And believe me I don't have a good sleeper!

I agree with this. I spent half an hour sat on the floor by my 3 year olds bed last night, then I managed to sneak back in to mine as she was sleeping, but after a while she was up again so I just took her in my bed. It's not ideal, and I would rather she spent the night in her own bed, but I put myself in her place and I can't imagine much worse than being left alone in the night, in an almost dark room (she has a peppa pig night light) and ignored by my parents while I cried myself to sleep. The very thought of itis heartbreaking, so for the time bing if she doesn't settle she comes in with us.

 

[hyperchord24]

This isn't a discussion on the pros and cons of crying it out. It's about how I situate my child so that she cannot get out of her room/crib without damaging herself in the process.

 

[hattiehippo]

YOU feel trapped? Your toddler will be feeling that too! Why not sit beside the cot or bed not engaging with her but just being there until she falls back to sleep. And try the white noise suggested by others. Parenting is a 24 hour job and this is obviously a tricky phase for you both, fingers crossed it doesn't last long. I firmly believe there are no quick fixes with sleep and tackling it gently is best for all long term. And believe me I don't have a good sleeper!

I agree with this. I spent half an hour sat on the floor by my 3 year olds bed last night, then I managed to sneak back in to mine as she was sleeping, but after a while she was up again so I just took her in my bed. It's not ideal, and I would rather she spent the night in her own bed, but I put myself in her place and I can't imagine much worse than being left alone in the night, in an almost dark room (she has a peppa pig night light) and ignored by my parents while I cried myself to sleep. The very thought of itis heartbreaking, so for the time bing if she doesn't settle she comes in with us.

I completely agree with both of you. Tom has horrible nightmares and night terrors and wakes a lot sometimes still. I couldn't leave him on his own to deal with it and generally after 20 mins or so he goes back to sleep calmly whereas if we left him to cry he would get very worked up and I can think of nothing worse for an older toddler than crying yourself to sleep or not being able to get to your parents when you need comforting.

I'd def try some white noise or calm music and a nightlight but maybe also think about how to make your LO's sleep work for you (lots of cuddles etc) rather than getting annoyed about it. It is hard when you're getting little sleep yourself (believe me I know) but she's not doing it to wind you up.

 

[Mum2b_Claire]

This isn't a discussion on the pros and cons of crying it out. It's about how I situate my child so that she cannot get out of her room/crib without damaging herself in the process.

I was just suggesting that if you took a different approach you might not have that issue.

 

[_Vicky_]

This isn't a discussion on the pros and cons of crying it out. It's about how I situate my child so that she cannot get out of her room/crib without damaging herself in the process.

Your title says it doesn't work and we were agreeing as far as I can tell - I also suggested a stair gate so she won't be able to hurt herself on the door.

 

[WW1]

Once my LO could climb out of her cot I took tge sided off and turned it into a toddler bed. I toddler proofed the room and put a stair gate on. That way, I knew she couldn't fall out.

I was expecting it to be hideous but it actually made her a much better sleeper. She was older than your LO though (2 yr 3 myh at the time).